Happy New Year
2019 is now in full swing and I am kicking off my 2019 content with ‘The Self Series’.
January is the month where most people start babbling on about new this and new that. Come February most of that talk and action will be gone right out the window. So I decided to start the year off from a different angle. This three-part blog series will focus on areas oneself can actively work on for a fruitful 2019.
S E L F – L O V E
regard for one’s own well-being and happiness.
One of my good girlfriends was going through some relationship issues and in conversation, she turned around and said to me ”Jenna, how do I love myself, I want to be able to love myself like you”. I was taken back because the self – love thing for me was truly a case of trial and error.
I did not just wake up one day and have it all together. At one point in my life, I truly believed that I loved myself. But there were certain situations that occurred in my past which made me see, that I did not love myself as much as I liked to portray. It was those same situations that made me realise I had to get my act together and let me just tell you the journey to SELF- LOVE has been far from easy.
I had so many bad habits and unhealthy attachments in my life that were getting in my way. It was a struggle having to unlearn and detach myself from things I had become very much accustomed to. Things like settling, self-sabotage, being unkind to myself, holding on to toxic friendships and emotionally abusive partners. It was my faith and journey to getting baptised at age 25 that really helped me put the whole Self-Love thing into perspective.
I always knew that God Loved me but I didn’t necessarily know how to properly show Love towards myself. You might not follow a particular religion like me, but that does not mean that you are unable to learn, grow and make an effort to practice self-love. I challenge you to make 2019 the year you focus on loving yourself whole heartedly.
1. Let it go
Us humans really know how to hold on to things that truly serve us no purpose. I get it, I truly do because I have been there before. I have wasted my valuable time holding on to situations, relationships and bad habits that were better off left behind me. First of all, acknowledge that you can NOT change your past. There are no amount of shoulda, woulda, couldas to change the outcome of what has already taken place.
Whatever happened, happened. Every time you replay those past things over again in your mind, you resurrect it from the dead and give it life. STOP giving those old situations permission to come into your current space and cause all kinds of havoc. Breathe Boo and just simply LET IT GO, whether it be a job, relationship, or missed opportunity, LET IT GO! It is impossible to fully practice Self-love if you are holding on to things that hinder you from moving forward.
2. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries
I only discovered the importance of healthy boundaries when I started going to counselling in 2017. I had no idea what they were and I did not have them actively in place within any of my personal relationships. I quickly came to learn that what you allow from others, is what will continue. We teach people how to treat us and the best way to avoid having any blurred lines is to put some healthy boundaries in place.
Boundaries help to regulate what the extents and limits are between you and others. It is essential to have them in place because they help to protect you and your personal peace. On your journey to practising self-love in 2019, be clear on what your boundaries are, put them in place and don’t compromise.
It might come as a surprise to you the number of people in the world who find it difficult to spend time in their own company. Having time with yourself is a great way to learn more about who you are, your needs, wants and what you like etc. In this day and age, we spend countless hours scrolling through social media where so many things are fighting for our attention. It can be a struggle to find a few minutes for yourself.
For 2019, I urge you to fall in love with your own company. Spend an hour or two away from the socials, read a book, go for a walk, get your creative juices flowing. Even if it is just 10minutes, be alone with your thoughts.
On my birthday last month, after I went to brunch with my Sister circle I took MYSELF to the Savoy Theatre to see Dreamgirls. I received a few side eyes when I revealed to everyone that I was going alone. But I just had the urge to do it and I am so glad I did because I had such an amazing time.
My evening ended with a big smile on my face as I enjoyed a sweet stroll alongside the river, taking in the city lights. Just me, myself and my thoughts. It was refreshing. So please please please this year spend time alone to love on yourself without any distractions.
I hope you will find these 3 tips useful as you use them on your Self-Love journey this year. Be sure to look out for the second instalment of this three-part series it will be on SELF-CARE’. I aim to put it out later this week.
Lastly, I would like to thank you for the Love and Support you have shown to JWV last year. I look forward to revealing all the good stuff that I have in store for my readers in 2019.
Lots Of Love
For more tips on Self-love, check out my board on Pinterest https://pin.it/jhent6ohdpcju3