A Bae-less Christmas

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Soooooo
Christmas has come around again and you’re single.

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Don’t worry boo you are not alone because so am I.

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In fact, this will be my 3rd Christmas as a single woman and contrary to popular belief it is not as bad as you think. Sure, of course, it would be nice to have a BAE to snuggle up with watching some of my favourite Christmas films or to match my fly during the yearly family Christmas day photo shoot.

Most people dislike being without a partner during this time of year and I get it, I really do. It can be very daunting, depressing and lonely asf. My first Christmas as a single woman was horrible but that was because my break up was still fresh. As time went on I have come to really appreciate my season of singleness. I realised that I can’t come and kill myself over not having a Bae and to be honest neither should you.

I know this is easier said than done, especially during a time like Christmas where it seems like everyone and their dog is boo’d  up. On Christmas day last year I was frying plantains with Aunty Lorna whilst my age mates were getting showered with lavish gifts and being proposed to.

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I would be lying if I said that seeing those things never made me question myself or make me wonder when my own time would come. It is so easy to fall into that trap of comparing your season of life with others. Here is a little word of advice: DONT DO IT TO YOURSELF! Being single in general is not a bad thing and being single during the Christmas period is not the end of the world. It is such an amazing time of year, where you could be doing so much more like loving on yourself and those closest to you rather than moping around about being single.

I know you probably have heard that before and might not want to hear it again. But there are some positives to the single life, especially during this time of year. So to paint a better picture for you, I reached out to a few people and asked them to share their experiences, thoughts and feelings about being Single at Christmas, enjoy.

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Olliviette, Creative & Lifestyle blogger @Olliviette.com 

According to Google, I’ve only had a holiday bae 13.89% of my adult life.

I’ve been through it: being solo while the friends are coupled up, the “why you don’t get a man gurl” chat from my aunts, excusing myself from festivities to cry quietly.

At first, all that “big love energy” used to really get me down. Then I accepted reality: I am not flawed if I am single during the holidays.

Instead of focusing on bae-who-isn’t-there, I focus on myself. A recent Christmas involved me renting a gorgeous London flat and living it up in my undies all weekend. There’s nothing wrong with being upset about being single, but don’t waste your life worrying about “bae”. Live hunny.

Create the moments you deserve, love yourself up during the holidays and for them urges…invest in some good hardware. If you know what I mean…

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Jess, Foodie & Travel Blogger @Roadtoculturedom.com

“As young adults, Instagram makes us think enjoying the festivities with your other half in matching jumpers will make us the happiest. But not everyone (including me) will experience that this year…and that’s okay. You get to give your family your utmost attention and create more memories with them. You get to spend that bae present money on spoiling your favourite friends and family members.

One day, you’ll have to make the choice between spending Christmas Day with your family or bae’s…years after this, you and bae will be the oldest family members at Christmas. And you’ll be grateful for these extra years you had in your young adult life purely for your family! “

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Annabel, Travel Blogger @The Woman in Transit

Being “bae-less” during the festive period shouldn’t bother you in the slightest. For starters, that’s one less person to buy a present for so your pockets will be thankful! On a serious note though, being single is not shameful and as a culture, we need to change the discourse surrounding it. You’re not any less valuable or worthy because there’s no one taking you to Winter Wonderland (take yourself!).

Use this time in your life to get to know who you are. As cliche as it sounds, date yourself. Discover your likes and dislikes, deal with your unresolved issues, build healthy platonic relationships with the opposite sex, find hobbies and ultimately live life to the fullest. When you’re busy with purpose and wholly content, you won’t have time to worry about such trivial things.

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Nikia, Super mum of two, Chef & Business owner @Allaboutthefood

Whilst decorating the three we were watching a Christmas movie. the typical Christmas flick usually ends with the couple having a kiss. My Daughter turns to me and says “mummy will that be you this Christmas”. To which I responded with a laugh “with who the invisible man”!

As she continues to decorate the tree she turns and says to me “mummy you’ve had a shot at love before don’t ever doubt you can have another shot again” having a Bae at Christmas has never meant much to me until today. But as my daughter said I shouldn’t doubt that I can have another shot and when the time is right my time will come.

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Kelle, Content Writer & Blogger @Kellespace.com

One of the positives of being single during the Xmas period is that you have all the time in the world to spend quality time with your family and friends. Christmas is all about being merry after all, so use this period in your life to do the things that make you happy. Also, think of something you can do to spread your happiness onto others too!

Rayy Sang, Writer & Editor @IndustryMe 

Being single during the Christmas season forced me to choose myself and I mean really choose myself. It’s so easy to preach about self-love and self-care and all the other common millennial buzzwords. At a time where you are completely swamped by images of love the picture perfect family and literally everything you probably don’t have as a single; You learn to find your happiness in other things. As someone who is naturally giving being single has given me the space to put myself first for once and to truly get to grips with doing so. Once you love yourself first, everything else is secondary!

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Ryan C, A Londoner, Rapper & Youtube Creative 

I’m single during the Christmas period and I actually prefer it. Rarely have I ever had a relationship during the holidays but I feel it is less stressful. Having to meet your significant other’s family has always been an issue for me. I can understand why families would be protective over their girls and I don’t blame them. I’ve always felt paranoid around meeting a girl’s family as I can never envisage their reaction to me. I like having to worry about my own family and only what presents to get them. I don’t need the stress of a partner and it always works well for me.

DJ Short-T, Music Lover & Businessman @RumPunchSundays

This will be my second Christmas Without A Bae, and i must say it is a big change as I’ve previously been in a long-term relationship. One of the issues i had, was deciding who I would spend Christmas with, it became more challenging as the years went by, and at times i became anxious as i wouldn’t want to upset any of my immediate or distanced family members(even though some did throw shade at me). But now being single has allowed me to save money Lol (A LOT!!) and also allows me to focus more on spending time with my family and more importantly myself.

Soul Vs Universe, A King & member of the TC Family

Being Single isn’t always easy because we tend to feel lonely at times but if we change our perception of the situation we can see that we are not alone, we have ourselves to take care of. Our lives are just beginning in a crazy world so it’s important to love yourself first and be comfortable alone because when you leave this earth you can’t take anything with you except the memories and your own soul. Enjoy your own company. 

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Vanessa, The Bermudian abroad 

9:05 PM: “Well at least I’ll save money – that’s one less present to buy”

9:07 PM: *scrolls through pictures from our 6 previous Christmases* “Hehe, I remember this one, I made the Lamb wayyy too salty

9:10 PM: “How did we get here?”

I spent Christmas in London with my Mummy. She came from Bermuda bearing gifts – Gosling’s Rum, Barritts Ginger Beer and Cassava pie (google it). We bought the smallest tree, listened to the 8 Days of Christmas, watched ‘The Preacher’s Wife’ and discovered the M&S wine and cheese paring box(es). On Boxing Day, I flee to Washington DC. i met my best friends – we brunched, visited the Smithsonian, twerked in the hotel room and laughed at how small the White House is. I stared at the stars on the flight home.

I felt whole – with or without a Bae, I was surrounded by love.

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Sherese Nicole, Health, Wellness & Lifestyle blogger @Sheresenicole.com

Christmas time and the holiday season is yet again upon us and I’m yet again single – but I’m not complaining. In fact, I’m quite used to it and almost prefer to be single. I get to be completely selfish, do what I want when I want and learn more about myself. In all my time being single, I’ve found that I’ve grown more than ever and I almost feel bad for those in a relationship sometimes, because you don’t get to be as selfish when you’re with a partner.

So this holiday season, I plan to be around friends and family with a lot of good vibes and most importantly take time out to be with myself. I mean working on me – spiritually, emotionally and physically. Whenever I start to feel a way about being single at a season when it seems everyone and their mom is booed up, I find rejoice in trusting that my bae is right around the corner and he’ll come by at the right time.

What is TRULY for me will not pass me by!

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Musu B, A creator, Author & Speaker 

Make this Bae-less Christmas Work for You

Let’s face it – we’ve all been there. The endless searching and streaming on Netflix, hours on the couch, no bath and lots of food. It’s the only way you feel you’ll get by, constantly pushing out thoughts of the break-up that happened at the worst time ever. Being bae-less during the holiday season does a lot to a person. You’re questioning your worth and can’t stop scrolling through timelines filled with engagements, travel scenes and whatever else irks your soul.

The truth is, you can turn the tables in your favour during this period of darkness and despair. It’s also good to know that much of social media is a front, and what you’re seeing is staged anyway. So use this time to make it about you and you’ll find yourself bouncing back faster than a Cardi B Instagram crisis. Here are some quick tips to get you through:

  1. Start a journal and watch your life take a fresh turn
  2. Throw your own holiday party to celebrate YOU
  3. Take a trip – near or far – and get a change of scenery

I know there is a lot of pressure around but trust me when I say you got this!

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Food for thought: You may not know this but it has been reported that a whopping 4million people in the UK spend Christmas alone. A survey carried out by the BBC in 2014 found that those aged 65 and above will spend Christmas by themselves. In addition to this, research findings from the mental health charity MIND found that Millennials are twice as likely as the elderly to be spend Christmas alone. No family, no Friends and no Bae. This might be a tough one to get your head around but this is a reality for a lot of people. Can you imagine? that in this day and age loneliness at Christmas is real.

Being single is one thing, but being lonely without family or friends during a season that is all about love and togetherness like Christmas is another. I would not wish that on my worse enemy. I am pretty confident that the majority of my readers who are Bae-less this Christmas most likely won’t be spending it alone.

I don’t know about you but that is something to be extremely grateful for. Now, I might not have a Bae but what I do have is a family to celebrate with and love on. I will most definitely wake up to a ton of merry Christmas messages from my friends. I may not have kids of my own just yet but I do have Godchildren that I can spoil with Christmas presents. I sat back and thought about all of this and I realised there are so many people in the world who don’t have half of what I just described this Christmas.

So I say that to say this, focusing on what you do not have will rob you of what you do have. It might be upsetting not having a relationship but I have been alive long enough to know that nothing in life ever happens before its time. Take a moment to reflect on who you do have in your life right now and be grateful for those people.

At the right time, the right person will come into your life but until then, make the most of who you have in your life right now. Also if you know someone who will be spending Christmas alone this year, invite them over, send a card, drop them a text or give them a call.

One last thing, scrap the idea that having a Bae is everything, because it really is not. Being in a healthy and happy relationship is as a bonus on top of all our other blessings. Anything below that is trash and don’t ever forget it.

Stay Blessed

Lots of Love

Jenna

xoxo

  • Please note all gifs were sourced from GIPHY.com. I do not own the rights to those images!
  • Top 10 Christmas films

    YAY, December has finally arrived and that can only mean one thing, Christmas is around the corner. One of the things that I love about the Christmas season is the Christmas films. Ever since I was a little girl, my mum would buy me the Christmas special TV guide just so that I could keep track of the films showing on TV. It is a part of my Christmas tradition that will probably never be broken.

    Some people find Christmas films a bit cliché or cheesy. But there is nothing that I love more than curling up on the sofa, with a blanket and some snacks binge-watching a festive flick. To kick off the month of December I compiled a list of my top 10 Christmas films that I think you should watch during the Xmas season.

    Please note I do not own the rights to the images below

    Home Alone (1990)
    It is impossible to talk about Christmas films without mentioning the Home Alone Franchise. I mean it doesn’t even make sense in my opinion. Child star McCauley Culkin plays Kevin McCallister, who was mistakenly left behind at home when his family jetted off to Paris. Alone for Christmas, Kevin is living his best life until two local burglars attempted to put his house on their hit list. I can never get tired of this film it is a family favourite and it will definitely get you in the mood for the holidays.

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    Mixed Nuts (1994)
    Steven Martin stars in this Christmas comedy as Phillip who runs a crisis hotline with Catherine and Mrs Munchnik. The hotline is under crisis when Philipp is served with an eviction notice on Christmas Eve, he is in desperate need of money and a miracle. So many unexpected twists and turns take place as many paths cross the night before Christmas.

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    Miracle on 34th Street (1994)
    Can the real Santa please stand up? Six-year-old Mara Wilson (Matilda, Mrs Doubtfire) plays Susan who is determined to out the real Santa after coming across who she thinks is the real deal in the local department store. This film is a remake and I must say it is better than the original for me. It is family friendly and it has all of that Christmas good stuff to kick-start the holidays.

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    The Preachers Wife (1996)
    This loving, sentimental, family-friendly Christmas flick is a remake of the 1947 film ‘The Bishops Wife’. The cast includes music royalty Whitney Houston, actor- extraordinaire

    Mr Denzel fine like chocolate Washington and the legend that is Courtney B Vance. A family church run by Henry Briggs ( CB Vance) is on the brink of decline and so is his family life. Devoted Wife Julia is being neglected and their child in the process.

    When all of a sudden their prayers are answered in the form of an angel sent to New York named Dudley (Denzel). This film will definitely put you in the Christmas spirit. It is an oldie but goodie with an amazing soundtrack if I do say so myself.

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    Jingle all the way (1996)
    My big brother and I loved this film when we were growing up. If I did not watch Jingle all the way at some point during the festive season something definitely had to be wrong. The film is pretty simple, two fathers Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinab are running all over Minneapolis on Christmas Eve trying to buy a sold-out toy ‘Turbo Man’ for their sons. Everything that could go wrong does and the two try everything in their power to get the toy under the tree before Christmas day. This is another light-hearted Christmas classic full of laughs.

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    Elf (2003)

    Will Ferrel brings the character Buddy to life in this festive feel-good flick. Buddy has lived in the north pole his whole life and worked as one of Santa Claus elf’s but he is human. So one day he sets off to New York to find his biological father and finds himself on one heck of a journey. It is impossible not to love this film and I look forward to watching it again this year. For my readers in the UK, we are in luck because Elf will be showing on ITV on Sunday 16th December 2018 at 6pm. Get your snacks ready boo 🙂

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    Love Actually (2003)

    It is impossible not to love a romantic Christmas film. Love Actually gives us just that and more, as it follows the lives of 8 couples in London during the run-up to Christmas. I love how this film brings different couples stories together. I truly hope to see this film one on the TV Christmas guide this year, there is nothing like a good romantic Christmas Love story.p32829_v_v8_ae.jpg

    Last Holiday (2006)

    Queen Latifah takes on the role of a patient who finds out she is terminally ill. Since this will be her last Christmas alive she decides to do it big and blow all her savings. Only for her to later find out that her test results were wrong. – This film is available on UK Netflix and it starts LL Cool J as the main love interest. This is a good film to watch especially for the hopeless romantics and singles lol.

    p159558_v_v8_ad.jpgThis Christmas (2007)
    A black African American family coming together for the first time in 7 years to celebrate Christmas is just a recipe for disaster. Old wounds, rivalry’s, broken bonds and lots of secrets upstage what is supposed to be a time of love, celebration, reflection and unity. Despite all of the obstacles, the family somehow manage to come together stronger than ever. The cast is jam-packed with some of the most beloved Black actors, actresses and entertainers.

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    The Best Man Holiday (2013)

    I LOVE this film like I really really love this film. The Best Man Holiday is the sequel to The Best Man. The film is set around college friends who reunite to spend Christmas with each for the first time 15 years. I highly suggest that you watch the first film just so you have a better understanding. When you finally watch The Best Man Holiday, have those tissues ready because this one is a tear jerker. If you live in the UK and have Netflix, you can catch this one on there too.

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    So there you have it, these are my top 10 Christmas films. All of which will definitely get you into the spirit of Christmas. It is never too early to start watching Christmas films so don’t let anyone put you off.

    Every week this month, I plan to watch a Christmas film, you should join in on the fun too. Line up some of your favourite Christmas films, get yourself some snacks and enjoy.

    Let me know how it goes by hitting me up on Twitter @JennasWorldView.

    Stay Blessed

    Lots of Love

    Jenna

    xoxo

    Happy New Month Peeps

    THE PROMISE

    My Grandad passed away when I was 8 this was my first real encounter with death. I did not react to the news immediately though.  It was a couple of weeks later on the day of his funeral when everything finally hit me. The moment I saw his casket pulling up the hearse to my estate I completely lost the plot. I was young and I didn’t really understand it all, but since then I have encountered 5 more close deaths 3 out of that 5, unfortunately, were murders.

    Each encounter was negative and somewhat traumatic and I have not had anything positive to say where death was concerned. I just did not understand why people you love had to die. It is one of the most painful things in life to experience and I just didn’t think it was fair, but I have come to know that most things in life are not fair. As time has gone on my mindset towards death has somewhat changed and I have reached the following conclusions.

    The only thing that is promised to us in this life-time is death.

    It is written.

    One can not cheat it nor can one escape

    because truth be told when it is your time, it is your time.

    It is kind of scary when you think about it because neither you or I know when it will be our time to leave to go. It does blow my mind that we can have so many dreams for our lives but the only thing that is guaranteed to all of us is death. This is a universal truth that not even I am ready for because it is one heaven pill to swallow,.

    Dying is a part of the circle of life because with every end comes a new beautiful beginning. Although it hurts like hell there is always something beautiful to be found on the other side of it. Transitioning is apart of life and atsome point in life we all have to go through it. At one point in time, I used to think that death was a mistake like maybe God got it wrong. But I have been alive long enough to know that God makes no mistakes. There is a time to be born and there is a time to die and even in death, there is something for everyone to learn.

    The sudden death of supermodel Kim Porter really got me thinking. If you are not a fan of hip-hop music you probably won’t be too familiar with that is. Kim Porter was a former supermodel, hip-hop royalty, a Mother of 4, 3 of which she shared with music mogul Sean ‘P Diddy’ Combs. The news shocked me to my core, I am a fan of both and I have kept up with them and their kids on the socials for years. I felt so sad by the news my heart actually sank. The last celebrity death that shocked me in this way was Whitney Houston’s. If you follow me on Twitter you probably have seen me professing my love her for on a regular basis.

    For me, there was something different about the news of Kim Porters passing that really it made me stop and really reflect. I think I probably read every tribute for her on Instagram from her family and friends and the way they have spoken about her truly humbled me. I know when people die, everybody has something amazing to say about them. Reading those tributes it was clear to me that Kim had a profound impact on the lives that she touched. All of the tributes were so touching and some even brought me to tears.

    I was so moved to the point where it made me start to question myself and i had to ask myself whether I am living abundantly?. Am I walking in love and light? Am I living gracefully? Am I compassionate enough? Am I being Kind? Am I forgiving wholeheartedly? Am I being selfless? Am I holding on to my past? Am I walking in my God-given purpose? I am a very reflective person in general but this line of questioning really opened me up to myself.

    “The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living”

    Marcus Tullius Cicero

    It was so weird way because I felt like God gave me an unusual wake-up call. It left me no other choice but to really evaluate myself from the inside out. I realised that what I do with my life whilst I am still alive and how I made people feel is what matters the most, above everything else. It is funny how death can just put things into perspective.  It was an awakening that I didn’t even know that I needed and I am glad it shifted my perspective on life and the way I will live it going forward. I know you are probably thinking Jenna this is some heavy stuff and yes it is. But I just wanted to share this because it really got me thinking about my own life. As crazy as this sounds there are so many valuable life lessons that can be learned through death.

    I would love to know your thoughts, let’s discuss in the comments below or hit me up on Twitter or Instagram @Jennasworldview

    This post was a lot, so of course, you know that I have to end it with a prayer, scroll down to read below.


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    Prayer: Dear God, thank you for blessing us with the greatest blessing above all which is the gift of life. In saying that Lord, I know that were not created to live forever, but we were created to live a fulfilling and abundant life that showcases all of your glory. I give you thanks and praise for the divine assignment over the life of myself and my readers. God, I kindly ask of you that none of us will leave this earth before our time. May the purpose of our true existence be manifested in its full form. Keep us all away from all harm and evil, but help us to walk in love, peace and real happiness.

    Stay blessed

    Lots of love

    Jenna

    xoxo

    xo

    Envy & Friendship: A deadly combination

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    I came across an article on Facebook (yes I still use FB) recently about a young lady who dated a guy for 6 years, paid all his fees, had 7 abortions, for him to end up marrying her best friend. Obviously, there were more elements to this story but from what I read, it was clear that feelings of envy were the fuel behind such a betrayal. This article inspired me to gather my thoughts into a new blog post.

    I have to admit I often get my wires crossed when it comes to Envy and jealousy. Both appear to be similar but are two very different things. Envy is the desire for others’ traits, status, abilities, and possessions. Whilst Jealousy is a feeling of unhappiness because someone has something or someone that you want. The two can be seen as a natural complex emotion, which goes hand in hand with each other. Although envy appears to be the worst of the two since it is one of the seven deadly sins of the world.

    Envy is the one that intrigues me the most only because this is the emotion that I know has the most power and venom. It can be felt by both men and women at any given age.  But don’t be fooled even animals experience envy too, may I remind you it was envy that led Scar to kill Mufasa in the Lion King. It just goes to show if feelings of envy manifest in the wrong way it can push a person to do some of the most unthinkable things. I have been on this earth long enough to see the ways in which feelings of envy can destroy relationships, especially friendships.

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    Believe it or not

     I know this might be a tricky thing to get your head around but friendships can sometimes be a breeding ground for feelings of envy. It is usually one-sided but in some cases, the feelings can be mutual. As common as it is, most people do not like to openly talk about or even address those feelings. It is either sugar-coated, downplayed or will go unaddressed. I get it, I really do and if you find yourself in such a situation you have to proceed with caution.

    I of all people know how awkward it can be opening up to someone about my suspicions of an envious friend. Accusing a friend of being envious of you is a strong accusation that should be not thrown around lightly. If you do not approach a situation like this correctly people will definitely be looking at you funny. I remember I never ever wanted to come across conceited or worse yet paranoid so I kept my thoughts to myself for ages. But I kid you not if feelings of envy within a friendship are left to its own devices, the consequences could be dire for both parties involved.

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    Red Flag

    This might come as a shock to you but for some people envy within their friendship circles doesn’t really faze them. In fact, some thrive off it as it keeps them on their toes. These people are the real champs because I couldn’t do it, not today, not tomorrow, and not ever. Only because I have seen first-hand how dangerous this can be. My mum, my brothers and I were left in a life-threatening situation caused by the actions of one of my mum’s so-called friends.

    Nobody saw it coming and this made the entire ordeal 10 times worse. I think about that situation from time to time and I still carry the trauma from it with me. I guess this is one of the reasons why I don’t hesitate to cut a friend off if they do something that hurts me. I won’t go into full details but if things went another way you probably would not be reading this blog post. But I give thanks that my family and I serve a God who works harder than our opposition. It was this incident that opened my eyes and made me see that a friend can be envious of you for reasons other than material possessions.

    It could be related to things like your personality, physical appearance and self-confidence. Upbringing, job, achievements, lifestyle or just the way others treat you. This is what makes it worse for me because what causes a person to be envious of their friend is extremely hard to pinpoint. Anything could be a trigger, imagine if you have something that your friend wants there is a possibility that you could be a target. This just blows my mind because everyone is not the same and we are all born into different circumstances.

    However, where envy in friendship is concerned  I do strongly believe that it has more to do with the person who has those feelings, oppose to the person they are projecting those feelings on. It is rooted in a person unhappiness or lack thereof. Unfortunately, you might just be the friend who ends up with the short end of the stick because of it.

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    Not everything is written in black and white

    One thing I have learned about envy is that it is not so easily detectable, especially when it is coming from your friend. I can tell you this for free but no one works harder than a friend trying to conceal their feelings of envy towards you. In fact, the lengths that some people are willing to go to try and cover up their antics is mind-boggling. I had someone go as low as point the envy finger at me when it was clearly the other way round lol honestly I can’t make this shit up.

    It made perfect sense though and I actually don’t blame that person for trying to pin it on me. Who really wants to be known as the envious friend? I will be damned the day I scroll through Instagram and see someone openly out themselves as an envious person, but I know it will never happen. Most people choose to keep those kinds of feelings tightly under wraps, some might even take it to their grave. However, there are some people who can’t contain those feelings of envy towards their friends and no matter how hard they try, their mask will eventually fall off.

    Below are some signs of an envious friend.

    • Passive aggressive backhanded compliments
    • Talks behind your back
    • Constantly competing with you
    • Imitation
    • Attempts to upstage you
    • Always bringing you down
    • Act super fake when you tell them some good news
    • Belittle you
    • Failure to acknowledge your achievements
    • Downplay your accomplishments
    • Never supports you

    As obvious as these things are, they will most likely fly right over your head. When we are friends with a person we are often blinded by the things they do or say because we see them as our friends. So we constantly overlook their envious feelings towards us or make excuses for them. I know this to be true because I have been there before. I always used to make excuses for one friend by putting their many attempts of sabotaging me down to it just being a coincidence.

    I was so blind sighted by the love and attachment I felt towards this person. My mum was not because called that person out for who they really are. It is funny how are mums can spot our envious friends long before we do.  Aunty Lorna constantly drummed it into me to watch the company that I kept. But despite all of my mum’s attempts to safeguard my brothers and I, each of us had to learn the hard way.

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    A rare photo of an envious friend

    Say it with your chest vs keep it moving

    In my case imitating, competitive behaviour, and talking behind my back were just some of the things I had experienced. The competitiveness and imitating were probably the most draining out of the three. It got so bad to the point where it actually put me off the person. I will never forget when I voiced my concerns, other people would tell me I was overacting, being too sensitive and paranoid. I was even told that this person had no reason to be jealous of me because they come from ‘money’ and I did not. There is a downside to speaking out about your suspicions of an envious friend, there is a chance that others might not believe you.

    If they do believe you they will most likely encourage you to not say anything or play it safe by ‘keeping your enemies close’. Maybe it is just me, but in my mind playing it safe with an envious friend will just contaminate the relationship. However, there are special circumstances where things are better left unsaid. If you know how a person is just deal with them accordingly without causing a fuss. Not addressing the issue or playing it safe can sometimes be the best form of action. But whatever path a person decides to take just know that the friendship will never ever be the same.

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    For me personally, I am not interested in maintaining any friendship with someone who is envious of me. I have been there before, it is draining and you will never ever be able to trust that person in the same way again. I refuse to be a target of abuse at the hands of an envious friend it is not fair on me. It is a risk that I am not willing to take and trust me when I say you will never ever know where you stand with each other.

    When I think of it, maintaining a relationship with an envious friend is kind of problematic. I can’t help but be reminded of that viscous acid attack that took place in the UK a few years ago. Naomi Oni was followed home after work by her friend Mary Konye. Disguised in a veil, Mary drenched Naomi’s face in acid, which resulted in severe facial burns and hair loss. During the trial, it was discovered that it Mary’s feelings of envy towards Naomi influenced her to carry out such a devious crime. Mary even accused Naomi of carrying out the attack on herself for social media fame. Can you imagine? wowu, this incident alone is a clear example of just how deadly envy can be. It is so deadly that it has the power to rip a friendship apart.

    “Enemies disguise themselves with their lips, but in their hearts they harbor deceit. Though their speech is charming, do not believe them, for seven abominations fill their hearts. Their malice may be concealed by deception, but their wickedness will be exposed in the assembly.” –Proverbs 26:24-26

    Where do we go from here?

    I am not trying to turn you into the envious friend police, but I want you to be aware that this is a real thing and it can happen to any one of us. If a friend chooses to be jealous of you for whatever reason there is not much you can do to stop them. It is not our duty to patrol the feelings of our friends. We can not control anyone other than ourselves. Let’s face it as long as the sun rises in the sky every morning there is someone out there who will have feelings of envy towards their friends.

    Uncle Bob Marley dropped a gem on us when he said: “Your worst enemy could be your best friend and your best friend your worst enemy”. If you ever find yourself in this position with a friend or a group friends, face the issue head-on,  try to find a solution if all else fail to go your separate ways. Do not allow it to linger in the background if it makes you feel some type of way.

    Final words

    Everyone in life is on their own journey; we are all operating at different frequencies to one another. it is no secret that all of us have the ability to be great, in our own special way. There is room for all of us to live the life we want and have the things that we desire. We just have to be prepared to put in the work for those things and wait our turn.  There is no need to be jealous of anyone especially your friends because it just causes unnecessary pain. A person who is envious of another has taken their eyes off themselves.

    Being envious is not going to get you where you want to be in life any quicker. In fact, harbouring’s feelings of envious towards another person will only slow you down. It does more harm than good.  I am not trying to sound like an Instagram quote but envy truly is a disease and it robs people of fruitful friendships. No one is perfect, maybe you have been an envious friend in the past or you have been the person on the receiving end. No matter what your experience has been, I hope you take something fruitful away from this post.

    Stay blessed

    Lots of Love

    Jenna

    xoxo

    PS – Please vote for my Travel & Lifestyle blog in the 2019 UK blog awards. You can vote for me as many times as you like as it only takes one click. I would love to win or at least make it to the final. Click here to vote and thank you in advance, I appreciate it. – Jenna’s World Viewimg_3479-edit

    Britain have Black Icons too

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    Please note, I do not own the rights to the photographs used within this post. However, all views outlined below are my own.

    Happy Black History Month to my UK peeps. October is our month to be even more boastful about the melanin in our skin. It is our time to shine so let’s not allow trolls or Wandsworth Councils ‘Diversity’ Month nonsense to get in our way.

    Growing up in Britain one the figureheads in slavery and colonial history has not exactly been a walk in the park. It is kind of awkward knowing their colonial pursuits dismantled the nations of my forefathers. Yet here I am living in a now multi-cultural Britain, my oh my how times have changed. I can only commend those from the Windrush generation who came here and conquered the grounds in its original form.  If it was not for what they endured, ethnic minorities would not be able to live in Britain as they know it today.

    The funniest thing is the majority of the Windrush generation did not plan to settle here but I thank God they did. Despite the misogyny, racism, and oppression that they faced upon entering “THEIR MOTHER COUNTRY” they managed to push through.70 years on and it is impossible for me to deny the way in which Black people have thrived in Britain. Although the success of Black Brits can sometimes be overlooked by our cousins in the United States. As I am now a little bit older, I have since come to understand, love and appreciate the black British experience. So in honour of BHM, I have decided to write up about some of my favourite Black icons who have made a significant impact here in the UK.

    1. Claudia Jones (21 February 1915 – 24 December 1964)

    The Trinidadian born journalist and activist dedicated her life to standing up for racial justice. First in the United States as a member of the American communist party and then in the UK campaigning for the rights of West Indian immigrants. Claudia Jones was a woman of many strengths, she went on to establish the West Indian Gazette, the first black newspaper to hit the streets of Britain in 1958.

    In addition to her other accolades, Claudia has crowned been as the Mother of the London Nottinghill Carnival. In a time where racial tensions were at an all-time high in Nottinghill riots, Jones was determined to tackle the issue head-on. By putting together a carnival celebrating West Indian Culture to unite the wounded community.

    Many deemed this as an odd attempt to bring peace into a community where ‘no blacks, no Irish and no dogs” were the mantras. Claudia was definitely onto something because it helped bring people together and since 1959 the Notting Hill carnival has graced the streets of West London. It is now one of the biggest street parties in Europe, attracting tourists from around the world.

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    I stan a true QUEEN

    2. Olive Morris  (26 June 1952 – 12 July 1979)

    In her young age, Jamaican born Olive Morris was a pioneer activist and feminist, who founded organisations such as Brixton’s Black Women’s group and co-founded the Organisation of Women of African and Asian Descent. If that was not enough Olive was an active member of the British Black Panther movement also.

    Morris had a heart for the community and tirelessly campaigned for equality, the rights of black people and women. Sadly at the tender age of 27, she passed away from Cancer as a prominent black community leader who stood against police brutality and the oppression of Black people. Lambeth Council then went on to honour her by naming one of their central buildings after her in the heart of Brixton where she resided.

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    3. Darcus Howe (26 February 1943 – 1 April 2017)

    Leighton Rhett Radford ‘Darcus’ Howe was an outspoken social activist, writer and broadcaster originally born in Trinidad. Like both Claudia Jobes and OliveMorris, Darcus became a member of the British Black Panther movement in the 1970s. Howe is widely known for his part in a demonstration against the racially targeted police raids on the Mangrove a Caribbean restaurant in Notting Hill.

    The peaceful demonstration was hijacked by Police which led to the arrests of Darcus and 8 others. This incident was then trialled at the Old-bailey, where Darcus and one other led the defence for the entire Mangrove nine. Together their council annihilated the prosecution as evidence of racial hatred was found on both sides of the argument which resulted in all charges being acquitted. Following this huge win, Howe went on to establish a Brixton based magazine, ‘Race Relations’ which became a voice for black political journalism and migration in Britain. Mr Howe continued to build an insightful broadcasting career, he has taken part in some compelling documentaries, tv shows, mini-series and political interviews.

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    4. Diane Abbot

    The first black woman elected into the House of Commons is enough for Aunty Di to be included in my list of Icons. Miss Abbot’s political career started in the early 80s elected as a Labour MP to Westminster City Council in 1982 and then Hackney and Stoke Newington in 1987 with a 75% majority. At present, she sits as the Shadow Home Secretary for the Labour party. Aunty Di is assertive and from time to time can ruffle a few feathers when she calls things how she sees them.

    For the most part, the Black British community has the utmost respects for her because she speaks up for us whenever she gets the chance. Even when her stance goes against the majority. Sadly she has been subjected to heavy racial and sexist abuse since the beginning of her political career and in recent years this has only tripled. The level of hatred shown towards her from some members of the British public is quite frankly disgusting. Anyhow she is an icon in her own right and for that, she gets a Jenna’s world view Salute.

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    5. Naomi Campbell

    When I think of a Supermodel, Naomi Campbell is the first and only name that comes to mind. Born in Streatham, South London Naomi’s is Britain’s first black supermodel. A career that started at the age of 15 and has lasted over 30+ years. Naomi was a force to be reckoned with in a predominately white modelling industry.

    Even though she has acquired much success within her career and walked the same runways as her white colleagues their pay grades were never the same. This is just one of many struggles Naomi has faced and spoken publicly about throughout her career. Despite all of these obstacles, Naomi has had longevity within the industry and even till this day she continues to work with some of the most prestigious powerhouses in fashion.

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    6. Sir Trevor McDonald

    Growing up and seeing this man on the evening news with his wide shaped glasses brought my household to a standstill. Whenever Uncle Trevor spoke the Queens English entwined with his crisp Trinidadian accent everyone knew to keep their mouths shut lol. The voice is so distinct you can recognise it with your eyes closed. It is without a doubt that he is one of Britain’s well known and most respected television broadcasters.

    Let me also remind you that he is the first Black man in Britain to ever do it. In 1999 he was knighted for his services to Journalism and retired shortly after in 2005. From time to time he does TV specials and leads the crime and punishment documentaries on ITV. Sir Trevor McDonald is another well-respected Black Brit, big him up every time.

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    8. Baroness Doreen Lawerence

    Baroness Doreen Lawrence of Clarendon OBE is the mother of Stephen Lawerence who was murdered in a vicious racist attack in 1993. The words strong, resilient and determined come to mind whenever I hear her name. The death of Stephen led to Baroness’s long fight for Justice which uncovered the depths of institutional racism deeply woven into the genetic make-up of the Metropolitan police.

    After many years of campaigning which ultimately destroyed her marriage and family life, Baroness was finally able to see two of the 5 assailants convicted for her son’s murder. The road to justice landed her an OBE and peerage as a Baroness for her services to the British. This year marked 25 years since the anniversary of Stephens death in April 1993, to which she gave her last ever TV interview.

    Baroness Lawerence never gave up even when the odds were against her, because of her defiance the way murders are investigated in the UK has since changed. I had the pleasure of bumping into her once at London Bridge station one evening and in true Jenna mode, I screamed but then quickly got myself together lol. As I firmly held her hand in mine and shook it, I told her how much I respected her, she thanked me, smiled and went on her way. I will never ever forget that moment and I will forever admire her.

    Jenna’s Final Thoughts

    There is no doubt that since Black people arrived in the UK things have never quite been the same. Our presence has made an impact in this country during the time of our enslavement and more thereafter. The British Army, National health service, Royal Air Force and Transport for London are just of the organisations that would not be what it is today without the contribution of black people. With that being said it is impossible for anyone to downplay the influence Black people have had in British society.

    Just look at the lives of the people that I mentioned above, they are all phenomenal individuals in their own right. As I was putting this post together I learned so many more things about individuals I was already aware of and those I knew nothing about. I truly wish my Black History lessons in school never shed light on some of the things Black people have done in Britain.

    Did you know?

    Olaudah Equiano (c.1745-1797) was the first black person to be employed by the British government.

    West Indian Cricketer Sir Learie Constantine (21 Sep 1901 – 01 Jul 1971) was appointed as Britain’s first black Peer.

    In 1999 Baroness Patricia Scotland former attorney general made British legal history by becoming the first black female QC (Queens’s counsel).

    As a community, Black people have endured so much and despite systematic obstacles and sometimes their own shortcomings they have managed to press on. There is no denying that Black people in Britain have worked continuously to break those glass ceilings. With each generation going a little bit further than the one before. The new generation of black brits today are doing big things and it brings me great joy seeing them go on to higher heights.

    However I say that to say this because although Black Brits have done and continue to do some amazing things. There are some areas within Black British community that I feel spits on the blood, sweat and tears of our elders. Knife, gun crime, gang culture and black on black violence seem to have taken up long-term residence. It hurts me to say this but I feel like these issues often overshadow our great achievements both past and present. It is bittersweet to watch one side of black Britain decay whilst the other side thrives. To me it almost feel like this dark grey cloud over our heads and no matter what good we do here, it continues to weigh ALL of us down.

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    Anyway,  Happy Black History Month, how will you celebrate this October, let me know in the comments below?

    “The moment we choose to love we begin to move against domination, against oppression. The moment we choose to love we begin to move towards freedom, to act in ways that liberate ourselves and others.” – bell hooks

    PS – check out my Black History Month UK 🇬🇧 Pinterest board click here and follow me.

    Stay blessed

    Lots of Love

    Jenna

    xoxo

    The Poison of Comparison

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    This is imaged was sourced from Pexels.com!

    Please note, I do not own the rights to the quotes used within this post. However, all views outlined below are my own.

    Comparison

     is a

    Joy killer

    Peace thief

    and

    Happiness Assassin

    Be careful not to get yourself caught up in comparing yourself to others. I know that this is easier said than done because most of us spend our time scrolling through social media. We are bombarded with the lives of others on a daily basis and it has become the new normal. The snapshots we see of other peoples lives can sometimes make us feel some type of way about our own. Everyone has compared themselves to others at some point in their life.

    Most of us know that comparing yourself to others is not healthy, but from time to time we do indulge in it. It might start off small at first and you probably won’t notice that you are doing it and then suddenly it becomes a bad habit that you simply just can’t kick. It can lead to you developing negative feelings towards yourself and this can be very harmful.

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    Comparing yourself to others is a deadly practice that will most likely leave you unmotivated, envious and upset. Abort mission immediately because all these kinds of feelings are just not worth the hassle.  Everyone in life is running their own race, at their own pace and on their own time. Try your best not to get caught up in watching others because it will prevent you navigating in your own lane. You can’t possibly live your best life if your eyes are peeled elsewhere.

    When you come to understand the importance of time and the seasons of life, you will never compare yourself to another person again. Everyone’s walk on the earth is different. No two roads travelled will ever be the same and the quicker you realise this the better. It is ok to be inspired by others, just do not go as far as comparing yourself to them. The blogging world is amazing, with so many great bloggers out there doing great things that I would love to do. If I started comparing myself to them then you probably would not be reading this blog. I have come to know and accept that my life as well as my journey, is unique to me.

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    The poison of comparison will ultimately affect your happiness, the way you see yourself and how you live your life. It does you no favours whatsoever, so please I kindly ask of you to stop indulging in this kind of behaviour immediately. It is totally not worth it Boo. Do not compare yourself to people on the internet and don’t you dare compare yourself to anyone you know in real life.

    If you are looking at others peoples life and wondering why you do not have what they have or why you are not where they are, you are heading in dangerous territory. Comparing yourself to others will only damage the way you see yourself, your life and your blessings.

    I know that this is not an easy thing to do, so if you find yourself sipping the poison of comparison again try to remember the following gems:

    1. Stay in your lane.
    2. If you are not happy, take those necessary steps to make changes.
    3. Do not beat yourself up because everyone is running their own race.
    4. The internet is a snapshot of highlights and that is all it will ever be
    5. Today for you, tomorrow for someone else
    6. Your time will come
    7. Do you
    8. Love you
    9. Focus on you

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    Stay blessed

    Lots of Love

    Jenna

    xoxo

    Autumn Skincare Essentials

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    Please note, this is a collaborative post with Panasonic

    Whenever I get compliments about my skin, I always laugh to myself and think if only they knew. It has literally taken time, trial, error and money, just to get my skin where it is today. I have now become a product junkie because of this, but hey such is life. Anyway, now that summer is over and Autumn is here, it is time to switch things up in the skincare department. I decided to share with you some of my Autumn Skincare Essentials for 2018, you can thank me later.cb738f8dd23ef5d86a425f1a794d6950

    • Facial cleansing brush £129 – £199

    During the autumn I use a facial cleaning brush up to 3x a week, as it cleans 20 times better than handwashing. These handheld devices help to penetrate further into the surface of the skin, removing any dirt or oil built up during the day. If you are new to the world of facial brushes, check out skin care UK Panasonic as they offer a great range of facial cleansing systems that use state of the art technology to create the best facial cleansing experience.

    • Garnier Moisture Bomb Pomegranate Hydrating Face Sheet Mask £2.99

    My T-zone can become very musty and dusty if I am lacking in moisture. This face sheet mask from Garnier helps to revitalise and hydrate the skin in just 15 minutes. The instant boost of the radiance to my skin is the probably what I love most about this mask. I plan to start using this for #FacemaskSundays this autumn season, just to give my face that extra shine and glow.

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    • Sanctuary Spa Classic Body Scrub £6.50

    I like to make sure that my body gets just as much TLC as my face in the Autumn. This gel- scrub from the Sanctuary Spa will polish and exfoliate the skin helping to remove any dead skin from all over. It also helps to enhance the appearance and texture of the skin. It also has a long lasting sweet detectable floriental fragrance that lasts over 12 hours.

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    • Vitamin E Night Cream £14

    I have to admit, I used to think night creams were pointless. But that was until I tried it out for myself. Now as someone who has suffered from Eczema for most of my life, moisture loss in my skin has been my number one problem. This Vitamin E night cream uses all of its goodness to replenish the skin and prevent moisture loss during the night. I actually use this as a day cream from time to time in the autumn, because it is so hydrating and leaves the skin feeling silky and smooth.

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    • Palmer’s Coconut Oil Formula Coconut Oil Swivel Stick £2.95

    I do not know about you, but dry chapped lips will not be my portion especially not in this autumn season. This little gem of a lip balm works wonders because it is infused with Coconut oil which adds the extra moisture needed to keep to the lips hydrated. The Palmers Swivel stick keeps the lips smooth, eliminating any potential lip crust. It is impossible for me to get through autumn without this swivel stick, this is a must have for me.

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    • Peppermint Reviving Pumice Foot Scrub £7 

    I am not a fan of feet but that does not mean that I do not like to keep my feet in good condition. In between my pedicure visits to the nail shop, I use this soothing Peppermint oil scrub to keep away any hard skin building up on my feet. I love that this scrub has volcanic like rock granules which help to give the feet that extra softness. What I also love about this scrub, it is infused with Peppermint which is a calming agent for the skin.

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    • Miaroma Sweet Almond Oil £4.95

    Cold press essential oils have so many great benefits, I personally prefer almond oil above the lot for my skin. I do not use this on my face, but for my entire body almond oil is like liquid gold. In the colder seasons like autumn, I tend to drop some of this Miaroma almond oil in my moisturizer for my body. I find that this wonders for soothing dry skin, but you would have to use it in moderation because it will ruin your clothing if you overdo it with the oil.

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    My skin has definitely come a long way over the years. I developed Eczema as an infant and then came along mild Acne in my teens. If that was not enough I have had to combat hyperpigmentation in different areas of my skin. I and many people of colour face this problem and it can be very difficult to manage. For me, that has been the most challenging part of my skin care journey. But, all of this has allowed me to learn so much about my skin and discover what works well for me. I still think there is room for improvement but for the most part, I am happy with my skin.

    Anyway, thank you for so much for reading. I am always open to trying new things, so if you have any Autumn Skincare recommendations, do let me know in the comments below.

    Please note, this is a collaborative post with Panasonic. 

    All views are my own

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    Stay Blessed

    Lots of Love

    Jenna

    xoxo