Dancing to the sound of a new beat in Santorini

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I live for a good picture backdrop baby!!

At the end of The wall that came down in Berlinthings looked promising for me as I made the decision to break down the wall of disappointment and start the process of moving on after the breakup. It was an unexpected heart to heart with one of my good girlfriends Lola that gave me the push in the right direction and I thank God it did.

There was a 3-month gap between my trips to Berlin & Santorini and in that space of time, things got better. I would not say they were great but things did get better. With each new day that came, the memories of the relationship did not hurt as much. I spent less time replaying the trauma in my mind and more time trying to catch back my rhythm. I had no other choice but to purge my ex out of my system. The crazy thing is, I did not realise just how deeply woven he was into the fine details of my life until the time came for me to eliminate him. From my Netflix password to the passcode on my phone, everything had to be changed.

I finally reached the ‘it is what it is’ stage and when a woman hits that point, there is no going back. Think of Angela Bassett in ‘Waiting to Exhale‘. Now I did not burn any clothes or cars, but I did sale the remainder of his things in my possession on eBay and disposed of the rest. I slowly morphed into a  new me. I kept my hair and nail appointments on the books like clockwork. I stayed busy, revived my social life and slowly got myself back into the groove of things. I even started to wear red lipstick, something I vowed to never ever do, lol. Putting your life back together after it has been scattered is never easy and I made sure to have fun with it. My glow was not back in the full effect just yet, but baby it was on the way.

I have to keep it real with you, when I told Aunty Lorna that I was going to Santorini for a party holiday, I am pretty sure she was convinced that I had lost my mind. A whole Jenna going on a party holiday? The same Jenna who can only manage two Pina Coladas? It sounded like a major risk on my part and it was definitely out of character for me as I have never been on a party holiday before.

I heard about Supa Dupa Fly x Santorini through Astra, who just happens to be another one of my big sister figures. Astra came into my life when I was 15, as the girlfriend of my older brother. Astra is the girlfriend your brother brings home, the whole family fall in love with her and even after their relationship ends, she still remains a part of the family.  Yeah, that’s my Astra, so when she told me about her plans to attend Santorini for this festival, my intuition sent me signals that I just could not ignore.

Supa Dupa Fly host the number one throwback RnB and Hip Hop nights in London. Throwing the hottest parties all through the year. Three years ago the team took their magic to Santorini and the rest is history. Astra, me, Kerry, Frankie & Liz attended SDF in their second year of residency on the island.

All the girls were aware of my breakup so everyone was determined to make sure that I had the best time. We departed from London on an evening flight, then stopped in Athens to hop on our connecting flight to Santorini. For the record, I despise layovers, but we had no other choice because our original direct flight got cancelled, lol

As soon as I stepped off the plane, I was welcomed into Santorini by a beautiful sunset and I just felt a calm sense of peace. I gave myself a little pep talk like  “Jenna you are in Santorini boo, you deserve this. Forget about the last few months baby girl it is time to turn up”.I was determined to enjoy this trip and make the most of it.

My first thoughts on Santorini were that it was authentic and untouched in most aspects of appearance. I did not fall in love with it at first sight and I ignorantly asked Astra where were all of those blue and white buildings I had seen on Instagram? I did not do much research on the place so you could imagine the shock I felt when I kept seeing Donkeys on every street. But, I thought to myself it is what it is if I have to ride on Donkeys for the next few days, then so be it. I was thousands of miles away from my comfort zone and I had no choice but to bite the bullet.

This was the first thing I saw when I jumped off the plane!

From the airport, we went straight to our serviced apartment, which I must say was absolutely gorgeous. It was better than I expected and I am a hotel junkie who is very hard to please. We stayed in a local area, with a tight-knit community that was ideally close to everything we needed. Once the rooms were sorted, we secured our Quad bikes, sourced some food and patterned things up for our first night in town.

We attended the Welcome party on the first night and it was such a vibe. No one’s face was screwed up, everyone was bubbling and smiling. The drinks were flowing, the video cameras were rolling. People were snapping and the crowd was losing their mind to whatever song the Dj was spinning. I was surprised to see such a mixed crowd of people, but no-one I recognised, so that was an added bonus.

One thing about me I love my music and although I am not a party girl, I am a dancehall Queen who is always in and out of retirement. It did not take long for the girls and I to find one corner and start getting down. Supa Dupa fly are known for 90s RnB and hip-hop music, so when I heard Vybez Kartel ‘Fever‘ ring out inside the place, it was game over lol. Astra took one look at me and said “Jenna your time now” anyone who knows me should know what happened next. Dancehall queen Jenna came right up out of retirement.

I had to catch a 5min breather from all of that dancing, so I went outside and started to cool off with my signature fan. As I stood outside, the scent of sweet cologne smacked me right in the face and awakened my senses. It did not take me long to find out who was behind the scent. The stars in Santorini must have been aligned that night because what I saw snatched the little piece of edges I had left.

The mystery man that stood a few steps away from me was about 6ft 4, dipped in Chocolate and glistened with all kinds of sauce. I scanned him from head to toe in under 8 seconds flat and then happened to notice a festival wristband on his left arm…BINGO lol. 8 seconds turned into 30 and just as I was about to take my gaze off him, our eyes made four. Whewww Chile…..

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We both smiled, I looked away and then he swayed off into the crowd. JENNA why did you not say hello???? I asked myself in frustration. Then I thought, even if I did say hello, what the heck was I going to say? I did not get a chance to answer that question because before I knew it he reappeared and I went for the plunge and said ‘Hiiii’.

I am so glad I did because he turned out to be really lovely, much older than me and he certainly was not from London. Mystery Chocolate was from the states and he lived and worked in one of my favourite cities. The more he told me about himself, the more I became impressed, especially when he mentioned that loved to travel. Now I won’t spill all the tea due to these new GDPR changes lol, but we did exchange our details and jokingly said that we would try to do brunch before our time on the island was up lol

Now I know you are thinking OMG and you probably did not see that one coming, but neither did I.  However Astra on the other hand, saw the whole thing and came rushing over to me once he slipped away back into the crowd. “Tell me everything JEN” Astra insisted but, honestly there was not much to tell. I saw a guy, our eyes made four, we chatted and exchanged details. It was no big deal, but  I was so proud of myself for being a bold baddie and saying hi.

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These party holidays are hardcore stuff you know. I partied all night and got back to our apartment in the early hours of the morning. I missed breakfast and woke up just in time for brunch, left with only a few hours to enjoy the day before I to get ready to party through the night and do it all again. Lucky for me, I managed to get a beach day in and boy it was truly worth it. I visited Perissa Black sand Beach, which is famous for the red and black volcanic pebbles that lay across the shores. I had never been to a beach of this kind before, I only ever head about it in songs.

I decided to take a walk across the shores of the Perissa beach, play my favourite gospel song at the time and pray (see video below). Water is purifying and I always feel the presence of peace whenever I am around it. Between you and I, I released old layers of myself and life in that prayer that day. It was not planned, but I guess it just had to happen. After my prayer walk across the beach, I sensed that something greater was coming my way because whenever you release, you always gain.

It was halfway through my trip when I met two sisters from London Chanel and Chloe. Now I remember spotting them on our flights, but we did not end up speaking until we found ourselves dancing the night away side by side in a cave on the island. Chloe and I clicked instantly and she revealed to me that she and Chanel spotted me at the club on the first night getting my Life to Vybez Kartel, LOL.

We exchanged details promised to link up before we left. On that same night, I met so many people. It did not feel like an I was in a rave, but more like a large scale networking event. I established so many divine connections in that one night, I will never ever forget my raving experience in Santorini. I strongly sensed that I was right where I was supposed to be, just like in Berlin. So I vowed to keep my eyes and ears open because I was sure there was something that I was supposed to receive on this island.

The rave in a Cave!

Party holidays are like a yo-yo, you party day and night and the cycle continues until it is time to fly home. I did get a chance to meet up with Chanel, Chloe and Mystery Chocolate again. It was these two link-ups in Santorini that made me start to look at the breakup in a whole new light.

After an evening of raving, everyone was scattered across the strip trying to buy food. Now I do not know how this happened, but I got lost and could not find the girls. One minute they were there and the next they were gone. So I made my way into a Chinese shop and low and behold I came across Chanel and Chloe.

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I immediately sat down and ordered food to their table. You know how Women can be we start a conversation about food and then end up talking about Men and that is exactly what happened. Before I knew it, Chanel and I were exchanging war stories about our past relationship. If you have learned one thing about me by now, you know that I am not afraid to tell my story.

The conversation that I had with the sisters that night blew my mind. The girls and I spoke for nearly two hours and I truly felt empowered by these two sisters who were complete strangers to me only a few days ago. Chanel was older than me and Chloe and before I left to go back to my hotel, Chanel looked me dead in my face and said ‘Your ex-did you a favour. The betrayal is actually a blessing and I know that you can’t see it now, but when you do you will never be the same again”. Those words sent a chill down my spine and she was right I did not understand it but I knew that the time would come when I would. I went to back to the apartment, sat on the balcony and let the cool breeze of the night soothe my soul.

As for Mystery Chocolate, we kept running into each other at the parties, both still in limbo about when we were going to pencil in this brunch. It eventually became a running joke every time we saw each other. Eventually, we did get a chance to catch up to enjoy a lovely stroll in perfect sight of the Caldera View.

Our link-up was so refreshing, he was an educated Black man who knew his stuff. I told him a bit more about myself and how I had gone through a really hard time after my break up. We talked about the ups and downs of relationships, the music business, the welfare system in the states, Obama and the rap lyrics of Notorious BIG  lol.

Before we departed ways he told me to take a good look at the remains of the Caldera. So there I stood snapping away on my phone and he begins to tell me about the history of Santorini. MC begins to tell me how the existing Island of  Santorini is the remains of a bigger Island that was destroyed by an explosive volcanic eruption in 1646 BC.

The Volcano left nothing but this big blackened rock that I was awkwardly staring at.  As I gazed on, taking in the view, he turned to me and said: “the result of the eruption created five separate islands including Santorini and from an explosion, beautiful things are able to be created”. I stood in awe as I  let those words penetrate through my entire system. WOW, I thought to myself I just received another piece of the puzzle.

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Santorini will always have a piece of my heart, nothing more or less. I went there with the intention to party hard and have fun. However, I received more than I expected, as I danced through each day and night. The people that I met and the conversations that I had helped to guide me through to the next level. Things were finally coming together for me and I was ecstatic.

On the plane back home I thanked Astra for letting me hop on the girls trip. Astra laughed and said ‘anytime Jen, you know I  got you. You did good girl, I could not believe you were able to hang in there”. I laughed because I could not believe it myself. Astra went on to say this and I quote. ‘you’re doing well Jen, you took that fall and you got back up, everything happens for a reason and remember Jen, karma is a B*&^H, so we keep our noses clean. 

I gave Astra the biggest smile and rested my head back on my seat. I was more than ready to get back home to London and start living my new life to the fullest. Summer 17 was soon approaching and I was not going to let the skeletons of my past hold me back anymore.

Love you Astra!

The last stop in my post break up travel journeys will be Costa Rica. I might as well go ahead and tell you that the hurt and heartbroken Jenna that you have read about during this series did not make it to Costa Rica. Sit tight because the Jenna that I am about to introduce you to will have you screaming YASSSSSS from the top of your lungs, lol

One last thing: Make sure you sign up to my subscription list so that you never ever miss the drop when I post new blog content. Also, if you missed the memo Jennas World Views Glow up that was planned for Monday 6th August 2018 was put on hold until further notice. There were some difficulties behind the scenes and although I still wanted to reveal my logo (which is amazing btw) I decided NOT to.

In addition to that, the Post break up series must come to an end before I transition into my new look. In order for me to sow fruitful seeds into #JWV I can no longer mix the old with the new.  As soon as things are back on track, you will be the first to know.

Thank you for your patience, time, love and support.

Stay Blessed

Lots of Love

Jenna

xoxo

The wall that came down in Berlin

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FINALLY, the first blog in my Post Break up Travel series is here! Sorry to keep you waiting for so long Boo, but the timing to release it just hasn’t been right, until now. Before I dive all the way in, I hope you have read Intuition: A blessing in disguise and The Aftermath because they are the starters that you need to digest before getting stuck into the mains. DO NOT start this series if you are yet to read them. Catch up, and then meet me back here so I can give you the 411.

When I decided to start my post break up travel series, I did not plan to tell you how I ended up there. I mean it’s not easy airing out your dirty laundry for others to see. However, something did not seem right about starting this series so abruptly with no backstory. So it was only right for me to give you some substance behind it, even if it that required me to show you one of my biggest scars. The first stop of the journey takes us to Berlin, the capital of Germany, full of culture, history and politics.

Enjoy x

At the end of The Aftermath, I let you know that I took Lola up on her offer to see Drake perform on his Boy meets world tour. Since the opportunity to see Drake had presented itself to me a second time around, I felt heavily compelled to pursue this concert. At the time, I was constantly chasing the highs, so this trip just seemed like the perfect hit. Sadly, for me with the highs certainly came the lows and I was going through a crazy cycle. I committed to things that gave me a buzz without a proper thought, then abandoned them when it was time to follow through. I won’t begin to tell you just how much money I wasted on Eventbrite, buying tickets for events, to then never show up.

Everything felt like an effort for me and I had adopted a nonchalant attitude to life in general. I practically looked and felt like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. It was a rollercoaster of emotions, plus I wasn’t doing myself any favours, because paperwork on my ex-was still coming across my desk. I know, I should have been turning it away, but you know what they say about curiosity killing the cat, lol. Seeing pictures of the ‘happy couple’ with my ex-smiling like a Cheshire cat wearing the clothes that I paid for, was enough to send me over the edge. I have to keep it all the way 100 with you, in the early post break up days, seeing them together made my blood boil. My ex- had given me bun without cheese plus tax and VAT. It was VERY painful for me to see and that added even more fuel to my hurt and confusion.

I can confidently say that I experienced every emotion known to mankind, but at that point, the Anger in me reigned sovereign. I should not have been concerned about what he was keeping up with, but again it was a struggle. I still found it hard to let him go and it only added more salt to my open infected wounds. My ex- appeared to be living his best life, whilst I wasted away in the dumps. By the time it came around for me to head off to Berlin, I didn’t even want to go. However as I was in so much despair, the desperation to get out of London was real.

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Can you believe this was my luggage for Berlin?

Prior to Berlin, I had gone MIA. No whats app DP and minimal activity on the socials. People were trying to see me but I honestly stopped replying to most messages. So when it was time to fly out, I reappeared on the scene as if nothing had ever happened. Human beings are funny. We will go above and beyond to convince others that we ‘are ok’ rather than actually being ok. I spoke about this in The Cost of Living a lie but my reasons were only to disguise the true depths of my turmoil. In the process of trying to convince others, you end up convincing yourself. Sometimes the lies feel more comforting than facing the truth of your situation.

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Stepping on Berlin soil, honestly felt like a breath of fresh air for me. Lola and I stayed at the RIU hotel in Alexanderplatz in Mittie, one of the busiest places filled with shops, restaurants, cinemas and popular attractions within walking distance. We arrived just after 12pm, checked into our hotel and then decided to hit the streets. The concert wasn’t until 9pm, so we had enough time on our hands. Being in Berlin was definitely an instant mood lifter for me. I instantly fell in love with the place and I felt like I was in my own world.

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I loved being in a new place and that feeling of being unknown was soothing. Back home in London I had been feeling very suffocated, not to mention exposed. The breakup lifted the floorboards up off the relationship with my ex, which required me to open up and let in my family and friends. Everyone now had a voice which came with an opinion. It wasn’t like this in Berlin though, there were no loud voices or opinions anymore. For the first time in a long time, I could actually hear myself think and I started to tune back into my own frequency. Lola and I spent a few hours in the town, we shopped, we ate and spoke with the locals. After a while, we headed back to our hotel to prepare to see Drizzy.

Lola is another key player within Jenna’s World, our friendship started at secondary school but flourished throughout our 20s. My Lola looks fabulous, you would never know that she is actually 3 years older, but she is and she is one of my Big sister figures. I really commend Lola because dealing with a friend with emotions that changed by the click of a finger is not easy. Even flying to another country with me in the emotional state that I was, was a huge risk. I was a roller coaster of emotions even before the concert but somehow she managed to keep me in good spirits. Lola knows me pretty well and she knew that if she put a camera in front me, I will perform, lol. Please see the evidence below, I even managed to snag some bomb ass selfies too.

Some of you may say heartbreak looks good on me because my pain is undetectable in these snaps, lol. I can assure you, I did not feel as good as I looked. After taking photos for nearly an hour, we headed out to the concert which was located in the Mercedes Benz Arena. It had started raining, we were running late and I felt a meltdown coming on. I started to hyperventilate and think of all the worse things that would cause us to miss this concert, but thank God we made it on time.

We managed to secure standing tickets, I remember when the doors to the Arena opened I became ecstatic. Suddenly, I  looked around and began to see so many people, I instantly felt a buzz, that sent a sensation through my entire body. As if things could not get any better? Popcaan was the opening act, this being a surprise to me, sent me into a frenzy. I know I probably messed up many peoples snapchat videos, but I got my entire life. I was beaming on an instant high and I couldn’t stop smiling because it honestly felt so good. I had not felt like this in months, so I just held on to it and lived in that moment. I even made friends with randoms. Drakes performance sealed the night and I left that concert in a much better way than I came in.

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I came to Berlin with one goal and one goal only, to see Drake and go home. I wasn’t interested in doing much sightseeing. We both just wanted to see the Berlin wall and eat dinner at the TV tower, but things did not quite go to plan. Lola and I started to get ready to head out and I don’t know how it happened but we ended up having a heart2heart. We stood side by side in this black tiled bathroom, Lola was doing her makeup and I was doing my hair.

It was like one of those Big sister, little sister moments that you see in the films. We had a deep heart-wrenching conversation that I didn’t even know I needed. There were no tears involved, just home truths that spoke to my soul. There are some words that will be spoken to you within your lifetime that will leave a lasting impression on you. For me, that conversation will certainly be one of them. Something in me was moved by the words of my friend in that moment. After months of repeated conversations with close friends and family members, the wall finally came down. I knew that I had to accept things for what they were and even though it was not going to be easy, I couldnt continue on in my current state.

I believe God works in mysterious ways and I feel as though he set me up and lured me all the way to Berlin just so I could have this conversation with Lola. Think about it, Lola and I could have had this convo over some wings of fire at Satay Bar. It wasn’t a coincidence or by chance that this trip happened. It wasn’t even about seeing Drake. It was about me getting away from the noise back home in London to be able to recognise that it was time to look ahead to my future. I did not plan for that nor did I see such a revelation coming, but life is such a funny thing, we never know what is coming around the corner. I am thankful that somehow the words of my friend when I least expected it was able to pull me up out of the floods.

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God knows who to send into your life, you just have to trust him.

After an eventful day filled with therapy, sisterhood and soul-searching, we finally made it out to the Berlin wall. Most of which has now been removed, but we managed to grab a few snaps of the remains. Check it out below.

Whewww Chile, the controversy!!! LOL

We didn’t end up making it to the TV tower for dinner, instead, we wandered the streets of Berlin until the day turned to night. Together we explored the city, by taking in the views, speaking to locals and moving to the beat of our own drum. By accident, we came across a lovely Thai place and had dinner and cocktails. Sadly I can’t remember the name of that place, so I can’t share the deets. Our dinner sealed the evening and although the day was far from what I expected, I am glad that everything came together in the way that it did. To watch a mini Vlog of my Berlin Trip, check out on my Facebook page it is nothing fancy, I tried a thing, lol.

Berlin was a turning point for me, things appeared as though they were looking up but do you think I was able to keep the same pace by the time I arrived in Santorini?

Click here to find out what happens on part 2 of my post break up travel series.

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Lots of Love

Jenna

xoxo

The Aftermath…

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I am a 90s baby, so I grew up on Toni Braxton, Monica and of course my Aunty Mary J Blige. I was singing about heartbreak and infidelity before I knew what it meant to really go through it. I could recite lyrics and belch every high note with raw emotion as if the heartbreak was my own. In my mind I was no stranger to it, I had read countless books about cheating couples (shout out to Brenda Hampton & Omar Tyree). I watched Tv shows and films over the years. I even knew all the words of the iconic heartbreak film Waiting to Exhale. It was all fun and games when it was make-belief but nothing could prepare me for the pain I felt when heartbreak became my reality.

Now I know that I dropped a bomb on you in my last blog post Intuition: A blessing in disguise. I was really touched by your response and I now feel braver than ever telling my story. Before I crack open my post break up travel series I need to take you a bit further behind the scenes. From the break up until my trip to Berlin, a lot had taken place in my life. I turned 25. I developed an elaborate and impulsive spending habit and I experienced everything from hair loss to depression. Dealing with a break up on top of trying to navigate my way through life was crippling and I couldn’t manage it. The break up was the straw that broke the Camels back and sadly for me it knocked me right off my feet. There was so much to process. My family were in my ears, my friends were in my ears. Everyone including me was trying to make sense of the madness.

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I was embarrassed, ashamed and I felt dirty. To make matters even worse, the word had started to spread and the people were talking. An old acquaintance of mine was so desperate for an exclusive, she texted my phone with fake concern in hopes to catch the tea. But this wasn’t tea or breaking news via the #shaderoom this was my real life. All eyes were now on me. Every move that I made was being scrutinised, so I wasn’t going to give the spectators, my ex or cousinbae the satisfaction of seeing me crumble. Even though I was half dead behind the scenes, lol. The show had to go on, so I kept up the appearances and made sure my Instagram uploads stayed popping.

The more I acted as though life was grand like a thousand pounds to the outside world, things were taking a turn for the worse. It got so bad that my mum sat me down and gave me some home truths. Mummy was blunt and told me that I am not the first girl in the world to get cheated on and I won’t be the last. I need to walk with my head held high. One day it will all make sense why I had to go through this. I can’t stop or give up, I just have to keep going. My mum tried the nice approach at first but in true Aunty Lorna form, she likes to leave an impact with her words. Mum made sure to remind me that I came from a long line of strong Black Women, who have been through ‘this’ before, so I have to pick myself up. Mum then went on to say and I quote “if you feel like you are going to mash up yourself over this Jancro boy & his dutty family, you have another thing coming”. In translation, this was a warning to get my shit together.

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You see, I heard what my mum said, but her words were not hitting home. Nothing anyone was saying to me at the time was. I felt like a victim and found comfort revelling in the pain of the breakup. I truly lost my strength and was I embarrassed to tell my mum that I was struggling to push through. My confidence was bruised. Ever since I was a child, It has been drilled into me that I have to grow up to be a strong Black woman. Life was going to throw some horrible things my way and no matter what happens, I have to keep it moving. Even if it hurts. Even if it’s painful. Even if I don’t understand it. I was raised and trained to be resilient. If I fall, I must get up and if I cry it shouldn’t be for too long, but I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t look or feel like the strong Black woman my mum raised me to be and this had a major impact on my confidence. I was unable to demonstrate all that my mum had taught me because I was crumbling.

Over the years I have been able to live up to this reputation as a ‘strong  Black woman’. I  have served as the friend, who many have called on. At one point in time, I even held a PHD in solving man problems for my girls, lol. Sadly, the tables had turned and the strong Jenna that everybody once knew, was now unrecognisable. The stress completely took over, I started isolating myself from others, my hair started to fall out and I wasn’t able to sleep at night. I remember feeling like someone cast an evil spell on me because everything that was happening to me just seemed unreal. I was declining, but I couldn’t do anything about it. The break up was an eye-opener and it made me realise that my ex-wasn’t who he portrayed himself to be. I thought that I knew him, but I didn’t. It made me feel as though everything that we had shared together was a lie. This was the worse part for me because, in my heart, I truly felt like we had shared something real.

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My ex- was the first guy I ever exchanged I love you with. The first guy who knew all of my hopes and dreams. From the age of 17, he watched me blossom into the early stages of womanhood. How could I just forget him? How was I supposed to erase the last 7 years of my life? I felt like I didn’t have anything to show for the relationship. I wasted my years and my time being his lover and the damn secretary too. I couldnt bear the thought of letting go of the relationship and to make matters worse, I was still attached to him(please don’t cuss me). It was so overwhelming for me to the point where I couldn’t even think straight. There was too much noise going in my head and I just needed to tune everything out. The break up was already taking its toll on my mental health and I knew it. As a first-class psychology graduate, who at that time wanted to get into Clinical Psychology Doctoral training. I knew the signs and tried my best to disguise it from my family and friends.

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It wasn’t only until an incident took place at work, that would soon reveal the true impact of the break-up. I collapsed at work and was unresponsive on my office floor for 5 minutes. As I regained consciousness, I noticed my wig was halfway across the office floor. My colleagues were standing around in complete and utter shock. When I realised my wig was gone, I just screamed out in embarrassment, lol.  I know they probably thought I was having a panic attack but unfortunately it was the shame of my wig abandoning my head at such a crucial time. Everyone believed I had suffered a silent heart attack until the tests came back normal. My iron levels were fine and no I didn’t have a stroke. Numerous tests were carried out on me but nothing could explain why I collapsed. The only thing the doctors could conclude was that stress had a major part to play. I spent two nights in the hospital and was advised to take it easy because next time I might not be so lucky.

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It was obvious from that incident I needed to get a grip on things but I just didn’t have the strength to get myself together. So I did what I do best and blocked out the problems by slipping away into isolation. I didn’t want to hear what my family or friends had to say anymore. I didn’t want to think about my ex anymore. I just wanted to soothe my wounds. I needed to make myself feel better and I was desperate to fill the pain with something other than the voices of my family and friends. So I kept spending money and boy did it feel good.

My aim was to get away from London and even further away from everyone’s voices. I was so desperate for a change of scenery. So when my girl Lola hit me up about Drakes Boy meets world tour in Berlin, I was all over it. Something about this concert just made sense to me. If you read JWV’s Top 10 things to do in Miami, you would know that we missed out on seeing him the previous year. I strongly sensed this was a rare moment of fate presenting itself and I needed to pay close attention. Without any additional thought, I booked those Drake tickets and Lola & I made plans to set off to Berlin. Little did I know, that this trip was going to be the starting point for my restoration & healing.

Click here for part 1 of my #PostBreakUp Travel series

Lots of Love

Jenna

xoxo

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