Can you Slay and Love the Lord?

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I have been blogging for just over 3months now and I believe that with each blog post, you have been able to get to know me a little better. I love that and now I have decided to dive in a little deeper and open up another layer of my life to you. I kindly ask that you don’t judge me. Whatever your thoughts are about religion, hold fire and read this blog post with an open mind.

Now, this may come as a shock to some of you, but I am a water baptised, born-again Christian. I still try to “pops flavour and drips sauce” but this is a challenge in itself because I am often torn between the expected social norms of Christianity and the battle of being a 26 year old female living in 2018. Now if you read 26 & never been on a Bae-cation, you would know that from a young age I planned out my whole life. I can definitely tell you now that being born again in my 20s was never a part of my plan, but God was clearly waiting on me at the door.

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For a very long time, I put off the idea of getting right with the Lord. I used to think that my life would be over if I finally decided to chase after God. No more slay, no more enjoyment, life as I knew it would completely stop. Vybz Kartel would have to be traded in for Kirk Franklin and I would now spend the rest of days in Bible study. I just couldn’t bring myself to do this “God-thing properly”. I enjoyed our part-time relationship because it was convenient for me and it worked around my shenanigans, lol. Not to mention, I had become so accustomed to living by my own rules and I wasn’t really interested in giving that up.

I used to think why should I switch things up now? The Lord and I had a good thing going. As far back as I could remember, I would tell God what I wanted and he ALWAYS delivered. Whether that be my job at the bank, my first class degree in Psychology, financial blessings or any other opportunities. I did what I wanted with my life and then TOLD God he needs to co-sign my madness. As crazy as this sounds, this is exactly how I was living. So why in the world, would I give all of that up whilst living in a society where everyone does as they please?

As of February 2018, in Great Britain alone only 50.7% of the population identify as Christians and the percentage of those who actually practise the religion is much lower than that. It is safe to say that for some people Christianity/ religion isn’t seen as a driving force in their lives nowadays. So I knew that taking such a big step in my 20s was going to come at a cost. Choosing to love the Lord on a full-time basis, was going to require some real-life transformations from the inside out.

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I probably came up with a 100 reasons why I shouldn’t get baptised. Fear made me panic and I was making up all kinds of things in my head. What type of clothes could I wear, what kind of places would I be able to go to, do I have to change my friendship circle, will I have to marry a Pastors son? I seemed to believe that if I took such a huge step my life would somehow be restricted. My social life, image, purity,  purpose, relationships, career, my desires, my needs and my future was going to be impacted by choosing to be a born-again Christian. I knew it was going to be life-changing, but I felt the fear and did it anyway and I am so glad I did.

trust.jpgLife on the other side of being born again has been challenging. Learning how to live in the world but not be of it has truly stretched me beyond measure. The struggle to find the right balance between living my life and honouring my relationship with God is REAL. There have been days where I have thrown in the towel, called it a day on this Christianity thing and temporarily tapped out. Obviously, none of that has ever lasted because I always seem to find my way back to God one way or another.

I mess up from time to time, make mistakes, I say and do things that aren’t necessarily a great representation of my religion. It is not an easy road. The tug of war between the old me Vs the new me is very intense. The Old Jenna wants to wear, do and say whatever she wants, whilst the new Jenna has to try and keep with up the values of being a Christian in a modern world. Sex before marriage, modesty on social media, drinking alcohol, listening to secular music……its A LOT to juggle, but it can be done.

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So to answer the blog title is YES. It is 100% possible to love God with all your heart, be strong in your faith and serve your best slay. Personally, the only way I have been able to do this is by having BALANCE. Balance is key! Balance is everything! When I found Christ, I was yielded to come as I am. God isn’t interested in how well I can scream hallelujah, wear the longest skirts to church or put on a good Christian performance. To me, God really doesn’t care about any of that, he is more interested in living in my heart, the renewing of my mind & for me to experience the love he has for me. I could be wrong, but this is just the way I see things.

All that other extra stuff, God is not interested in. I still go out, I still get dressed up, I still have fun. Me having a relationship with God hasn’t stopped me from doing anything. I am now more mindful of how I display the values of my faith through my words and actions. As well the type of things that I feed to my soul. I know some Christians that don’t listen to secular music or eat shrimps and if that works for them, that’s great. It just won’t work for me. Being a Christian It is not an easy road to walk, sometimes I want to choke people out, get angry and talk all kinds of wreck lol. I still have my moments, I am not perfect by any means. I mess up and I probably will mess up again in the future, but this doesn’t stop me from loving God or him loving me.

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Although my appetite for certain things has changed, I haven’t stopped squeezing the juice out of life. I am more fierce than ever and I am confident in my sauce alongside all the other things that I bring to the table. Being born again hasn’t resulted in me being chained to the foot of my bed mesmerising holy scriptures. No no no, I have truly come into my own, running after everything God says that I can have. Meeting new people, having new experiences, coming out of my shell and sharing my gifts and talents with the world.

Yes, I have had to make some significant changes to my mindset and lifestyle, but these changes have been for the better. My life is actually more vibrant than it has ever been. Being born again has opened new doors for me and I truly feel like my life is soaring and it is not going to stop. How silly of me to think that stepping deeper into my faith would have hindered me from living an abundant life. This is why you should never let your fears lead you. I feel far from restricted or tied down because of my relationship with God. I  am now more confident than ever to go out into the world and do what I was created to do.

Personally for me, if I didn’t have my relationship with God, my slay would be non-existent and that’s a fact. My identity, my abilities, my confidence, who I am and who I will become is deeply rooted in my relationship with God. This is the secret formula behind my slay and without God, I would be dust. If I never had a relationship with God, #JennasWorldview wouldn’t even exist. My blog posts are heavily inspired by my faith and my life experiences. I strongly believe that God has blessed with this platform so that I can share my story and connect with people just like you. My relationship with God is my foundation and being born again has a really helped encourage me to live a full life.

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As I said it is possible to Slay and Love the Lord, but that doesn’t eliminate you from being scrutinised for doing both. It actually comes with the territory. I got a message from a lady on Instagram saying how could I be a Christian and have pictures up of myself on the beach? lol. Wooo Chile! I wanted to tell her about her mother in 12 different languages, but that was not in line with my good Christian values. So I had to handle that one with grace instead. Its safe to say she will think twice before she jumps in anyone else’s DMs. Now if I wasn’t secure in who I am something like that probably could have destroyed me or made me reluctant to grow in my faith.

I don’t mean to play devil’s advocate here but the people who display these facades of being oh so holy Christians are usually the ones that God can not recognise. The Bible teaches us about people who scream the Lord names in public but they are not for him. I am not about putting on a show by trying to act like a good Christian. I could pray for hours and speak in holy tongues until I am blue in the face, but if my heart isn’t right, God won’t be listening. What is in my heart and the strength of my relationship with God is the most important thing above everything.

I will be honest and say that I was fearful about how people were going to act towards me. To the point where I wanted to keep being born again on a low. I thought that people were going to ridicule me in judgement. So when cousin accidentally uploaded my baptism on snapchat, I had instant heart failure. Big up to the 12 people who saw me get baptised, I love you all lol. I deleted those snaps because I wasn’t ready to share that with everyone at the time. I felt like people were going to question the authenticity of my faith if they knew I was a born-again Christian. I actually believed that people would be scrolling through my social media looking at my pictures and saying I am a disgrace to Christianity lol. It is no secret that when religion is mentioned it has the power to change the atmosphere in a room.

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I have heard a few ‘wow you don’t look a Christain, or ‘I wouldn’t think that you would be a Christian’ before. I always hit those people with the same question ‘what exactly does a Christian look like’ no one has ever been able to answer. I guess it is subjective rather than objective right?. Once upon a time, I was caught up on how people would perceive me but I have managed to push past it and focus more on pleasing God rather than feeding peoples perception of me. Since I started taking this approach my walk with God has become 10x better. The journey has been filled with many highs and lows, but I wouldn’t want it any other way.

To conclude, life after being born again does not suddenly turn into a snooze fest, Issa lie boo. Don’t ever get it twisted, if anyone tells you that you cant be a Christian and live a full life is a liar with tax. You can Slay & Love God just as much. Being a Christian requires transformation from the inside out, but that doesn’t stop you from living life abundantly. People are going to talk and judge you regardless because that is the way the world works. Do not let that stop your slay or hinder you from loving the Lord.

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I hope this blog post has been insightful to you in some way, shape or form. I was hesitant to open up about my faith, as I had reservations about how it would be received. I no longer feel this way as I believe this blog post will resonate with the right people.

I would love to hear from you about your thoughts on this piece, hit me up in the comments below or find me on  Twitter, Facebook & Instagram @JennasWorldView.

P.S. If you enjoy any of my blog posts, please share them via your social media. My aim is to connect with as many people as possible.

Ohhh yeah: Those amazing quotes pictures that you saw throughout this post, I found them on Google, they don’t belong to me boo.

Thank you so much for taking the time out to read this blog post, I look forward to sharing more with you soon.

Stay blessed

Lots of love

Jenna

xoxo

Is Sisterhood dying out here in “these streets”?

As a young girl growing up, I watched a multitude of Black American films and Tv shows. Most if not all were centred around female friendships, sisterhood and some good ole Girl Power.

Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between people. 

Sisterhood is the relationship between sisters

Girl Power is used in reference to an attitude of independence, confidence, and empowerment among young women

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Waiting to exhale, Moesha, Sister-Sister, Girlfriends and Set it off gave me some insight into what female friendships and sisterhood should look like. The good, the bad & sometimes even the ugly. Being that I was the only girl child with two brothers, I really didn’t know much about sisterhood outside of what I had seen on tv. All of my knowledge and understanding really came from what I saw being portrayed on the big screen.

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As if that wasn’t enough, the influx of all female girl groups consumed the music industry in the 90’s and their influence ran right into the new millennium. Shout out to my mum because she allowed us to have ‘The Box’  which was Cable TV for British People lol. The Box gave me direct access to the latest music videos of girl groups across the globe. I knew all the words to most of the songs and I was quick on my feet with them dance moves too.

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I was the additional group member in Destiny’s Child, TLC, SWV and many others. This was a fact and no one at home could tell me otherwise lol. Up until this day, I can still remember the first time I saw the Spice Girls ‘Wannabe’ video. I was in awe. I’m not sure if it was because they were British or because they were girls on a total madness in a music video. It was all new to me and it totally blew my mind because I had never seen anything like it before. All I knew from there on out was that when I was old enough I would have my own squad.

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sticker,375x360-bg,ffffff.u3 This ‘squad‘ would become the sisters that I never had. We were going to be smart, fly, flawless & independent. The talk of the town, the crème de la crème, popular head turners with more than enough charm. We would walk each other through the different stages of life from first jobs to saying “I do”. Our bond would be tight like a knot nothing or no one could ever come between us. In my mind, it was possible to be like the girls in all those films and TV shows. I knew I wanted lifelong friends but as I grew older I realised that sometimes it’s not possible for 20 kids to play together for 20 years.

My experience of Sisterhood so far has not been smooth sailing. More like a profound learning experience that has taught me so much about life, other women and of course myself. My mum always told me that “you have to burn to learn” and she ain’t never lied. Some of the best  life lessons come through the burning process but that is a new blog post for another day lol

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Like many women out there I have been backstabbed, lied on, betrayed and let down by females who I have called my sisters. The friendships that I vowed would last a lifetime didn’t make it past a couple years. Some of my “day ones” have turned out to be agents from Satan who were secretly plotting on my downfall. I’ve had multiple friends screaming “yasss slay sis” in my social media comments but private whats app convos have said otherwise. Women just haven’t been who they portrayed themselves to be. My feelings have been hurt without reason, I’ve been abandoned by sisters who swore that they valued me. Yet I find strength in knowing that I am not the first woman to go through this and I most certainly won’t be the last.  This is the just way life goes.

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Being a woman isn’t easy and being friends with women is even harder. After all the ups and downs that I have had with my female friends, I gave up.  The petty SHIT got played out for me, I was sick of females not saying things with their chest and hiding behind other women. I no longer wanted to be a part of a squad or clique and I even told myself I don’t want any bridesmaids at my wedding LMFAO. I just had no interest in being around females if all it would bring me is drama. I came to the conclusion that sisterhood among women was dead. I was anti females and I vowed never to trust another sister in the same capacity again. It is true what they say one bad apple can really spoil the lot.

My negative experiences made me the question whether sisterhood among women was really alive? How can you call someone your sister but be ready to trample on her to get ahead? For a long time, I used to think that maybe it was a cultural thing. Let’s really keep it 100 here, sometimes within the Black community, we have the tendency to fight against one another for the stupidest things.  Some say its the residue of slavery whilst others will argue that we simply just can’t get along. However, I can admit that it is not a cultural thing because the ladies in Sex in the city and Mean girls showed us issues within sisterhood has nothing to do with race.

Women can be so cruel to one another, especially to the women they know and even worse to the ones they know from a distance. I’m an imperfect sinner who has had fights, gone out of my way to trace out a couple gal, said some horrible things with valid reason and without. I’ve sipped and served many cups of tea (gossip) and thrown plenty shade. There ain’t no woman alive on this earth who has not done the same.I have grown up a lot and I still have lots more growing to do, because I refuse to stay the same person. Every woman has bitchy ways, but it’s their choice whether or not they chose to display them.

I have improved my attitude towards women a great deal. I try my best to go out of my way to support other women. Whether its a Retweet on twitter, attending an event, buying products and services or offering my time. Even small words of encouragement and a compliment can go along way. I now realise that when one woman wins I win too. Whenever I see a woman driving a bad boy car, I’m like yasss sis Fuck it up.The unity of sisterhood isn’t limited to the women that you know, it can be shown to those that you don’t know either.

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Supporting another sister does not take anything away from you or your destiny. In this new age of social media, there is a lot of smoke and mirrors. The world is full of noise and women supporting other women appears to be the “in thing”. Yet what lies beneath the surface is jealousy, competition and fake unity. There are many females walking around in squads full of phoneys. Majority of them don’t really like or support each other and they are waiting for their sis to crash and burn so they can revel in her misery.

It looks good to appear as if you are supporting someone because you don’t want to be called out as a hater. Most people care about how they are perceived by others and this is the fuel behind their behaviour. Sometimes support from your “so-called sister” is really jealousy and hate disguised as a Repost on the socials to save face.  As harsh as this sounds for many women this is a reality. Please don’t shoot the messenger I know my delivery is raw but Aunty Lorna (my mum) didn’t raise me to trample lightly around the truth. If one thing sisterhood has taught me is that people’s actions never match what is really in their heart.

The truth is SISTERHOOD isn’t dead, but it’s in CRITICAL condition. There is so much more that goes into being a sister to another. It requires great compassion, love, patience and understanding. To call yourself SOMEONE’s sister comes with a responsibility that is not to be taken lightly.  A lot of us commit to sisterhood relationships without understanding the depth of the responsibilities that are attached to it. We immaturely launch ourselves in at the deep end and cant deliver when it times to step up to the plate.

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From my own experiences, I have called the wrong individuals my sisters and have left myself open for plenty disappointments. I’ve been naive and put people on pedestals they had no business being on. I used to the think that the strength of sisterhood was due the quantity of a squad.  I soon came to realise that you could walk alongside a large group of people who were really not on your team.

The only way to survive the dark side of sisterhood is to make sure you position people appropriately in your life. When people show you who they are the FIRST time, don’t stick around for part two because you will only have yourself to blame. Seek wisdom regarding friendships and don’t just run into people, learn to be observant of others before you go screaming ‘SIS’. Also be a reflection of the type of friend that you would want others to be to you. You cant be out here screaming everyone is fake when your credentials are a bit sketchy because you’re actually a shit friend. Do better.

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Most importantly let your past experiences be a lesson. Use them as a guide on what to avoid when establishing new relationships. My mum told me that she met some of her lifelong sisters in her late 20’s, so remember that you are never too old to make new relationships. Give Drake a pass when he is out here screaming out ‘no new friends.

It is rare that you get to continue on in life with the people who you started with. You grow up and move on. Break promises of staying friends forever. Walk away with many unanswered questions and pride won’t let you go to go back in time to hash out the past. So take those memories, FORGIVE, keep it moving and pray that the people you need will meet me on the way.

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Despite sisterhood being turbulent for the most part of my life, I must say there have been some blessings to come out of it. I no longer have or feel the need to be a part of a squad. I now have a collection of amazing women in my life who joined me during different stages of my journey. Some have been there since day one and others have come along the way and shown me the real definition of sisterhood.

So today I shoutout to the women who have made an impact in my life and shown me the real definition of Unity. Even though I was an only girl child at home, I was blessed to have a multitude of women around who loved and looked out for me.  Most importantly to the sisters from my past, if I was not a good sister to you I apologise. We may no longer speak but our paths crossed for a reason and many valuable lessons were learned from it. I have peace with you all because I stopped holding malice many moons ago and by forgiving you  I have set my soul free and can have peace of mind.

I now understand that in order to be a better sister I have to become a better woman. Before I can give to others I have to ensure that I give unto myself first. The filling of my own my cup will enable me to serve others from its overflow. Showing love to other women must truly come from the genuine depths of my heart. To experience Sisterhood is a privilege that is to be honoured to the highest degree. I cherish it and I can’t wait to pass these gems onto my daughters, nieces, goddaughters and many other women who shall come after me.

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So In the spirit of sisterhood, I just want to shout out some of the amazing women in my life. To my friends and family members who are mothers, I am deeply inspired by you. As I watch you all nurture your children, I am blown away by the level of strength you display on a daily basis.You are all doing amazing and I can’t wait to see your children grow up to do great and mighty things.

My ladies killing it in the hair, makeup, music, food, social media and creative industry, I see you all. Please check out some of the talented women that I know below!

Hair

  1. Face Of Life
  2. Hermain Hair & Lashes

Makeup

Food

Creative industry

Charitable Sector

Vloggers & Bloggers

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I would love to know your thoughts on this post so please let your girl know what you think!

Thank you for all the support so far it means everything to me.

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Girl power to the world

Lots of love

❤ Jenna ❤️