The Aftermath…

InShot_20180312_192417273-1214x682

I am a 90s baby, so I grew up on Toni Braxton, Monica and of course my Aunty Mary J Blige. I was singing about heartbreak and infidelity before I knew what it meant to really go through it. I could recite lyrics and belch every high note with raw emotion as if the heartbreak was my own. In my mind I was no stranger to it, I had read countless books about cheating couples (shout out to Brenda Hampton & Omar Tyree). I watched Tv shows and films over the years. I even knew all the words of the iconic heartbreak film Waiting to Exhale. It was all fun and games when it was make-belief but nothing could prepare me for the pain I felt when heartbreak became my reality.

Now I know that I dropped a bomb on you in my last blog post Intuition: A blessing in disguise. I was really touched by your response and I now feel braver than ever telling my story. Before I crack open my post break up travel series I need to take you a bit further behind the scenes. From the break up until my trip to Berlin, a lot had taken place in my life. I turned 25. I developed an elaborate and impulsive spending habit and I experienced everything from hair loss to depression. Dealing with a break up on top of trying to navigate my way through life was crippling and I couldn’t manage it. The break up was the straw that broke the Camels back and sadly for me it knocked me right off my feet. There was so much to process. My family were in my ears, my friends were in my ears. Everyone including me was trying to make sense of the madness.

33941960feceadc6573058d6cf8b69a6--teenage-life-quotes-cute-quotes-for-girls

I was embarrassed, ashamed and I felt dirty. To make matters even worse, the word had started to spread and the people were talking. An old acquaintance of mine was so desperate for an exclusive, she texted my phone with fake concern in hopes to catch the tea. But this wasn’t tea or breaking news via the #shaderoom this was my real life. All eyes were now on me. Every move that I made was being scrutinised, so I wasn’t going to give the spectators, my ex or cousinbae the satisfaction of seeing me crumble. Even though I was half dead behind the scenes, lol. The show had to go on, so I kept up the appearances and made sure my Instagram uploads stayed popping.

The more I acted as though life was grand like a thousand pounds to the outside world, things were taking a turn for the worse. It got so bad that my mum sat me down and gave me some home truths. Mummy was blunt and told me that I am not the first girl in the world to get cheated on and I won’t be the last. I need to walk with my head held high. One day it will all make sense why I had to go through this. I can’t stop or give up, I just have to keep going. My mum tried the nice approach at first but in true Aunty Lorna form, she likes to leave an impact with her words. Mum made sure to remind me that I came from a long line of strong Black Women, who have been through ‘this’ before, so I have to pick myself up. Mum then went on to say and I quote “if you feel like you are going to mash up yourself over this Jancro boy & his dutty family, you have another thing coming”. In translation, this was a warning to get my shit together.

0d0576ac4753c09c18997b27a97a10ad

You see, I heard what my mum said, but her words were not hitting home. Nothing anyone was saying to me at the time was. I felt like a victim and found comfort revelling in the pain of the breakup. I truly lost my strength and was I embarrassed to tell my mum that I was struggling to push through. My confidence was bruised. Ever since I was a child, It has been drilled into me that I have to grow up to be a strong Black woman. Life was going to throw some horrible things my way and no matter what happens, I have to keep it moving. Even if it hurts. Even if it’s painful. Even if I don’t understand it. I was raised and trained to be resilient. If I fall, I must get up and if I cry it shouldn’t be for too long, but I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t look or feel like the strong Black woman my mum raised me to be and this had a major impact on my confidence. I was unable to demonstrate all that my mum had taught me because I was crumbling.

Over the years I have been able to live up to this reputation as a ‘strong  Black woman’. I  have served as the friend, who many have called on. At one point in time, I even held a PHD in solving man problems for my girls, lol. Sadly, the tables had turned and the strong Jenna that everybody once knew, was now unrecognisable. The stress completely took over, I started isolating myself from others, my hair started to fall out and I wasn’t able to sleep at night. I remember feeling like someone cast an evil spell on me because everything that was happening to me just seemed unreal. I was declining, but I couldn’t do anything about it. The break up was an eye-opener and it made me realise that my ex-wasn’t who he portrayed himself to be. I thought that I knew him, but I didn’t. It made me feel as though everything that we had shared together was a lie. This was the worse part for me because, in my heart, I truly felt like we had shared something real.

874701859e536a1cd778e4dc5a9a1e91

My ex- was the first guy I ever exchanged I love you with. The first guy who knew all of my hopes and dreams. From the age of 17, he watched me blossom into the early stages of womanhood. How could I just forget him? How was I supposed to erase the last 7 years of my life? I felt like I didn’t have anything to show for the relationship. I wasted my years and my time being his lover and the damn secretary too. I couldnt bear the thought of letting go of the relationship and to make matters worse, I was still attached to him(please don’t cuss me). It was so overwhelming for me to the point where I couldn’t even think straight. There was too much noise going in my head and I just needed to tune everything out. The break up was already taking its toll on my mental health and I knew it. As a first-class psychology graduate, who at that time wanted to get into Clinical Psychology Doctoral training. I knew the signs and tried my best to disguise it from my family and friends.

inspirational-fitness-quotes-simple-and-true

It wasn’t only until an incident took place at work, that would soon reveal the true impact of the break-up. I collapsed at work and was unresponsive on my office floor for 5 minutes. As I regained consciousness, I noticed my wig was halfway across the office floor. My colleagues were standing around in complete and utter shock. When I realised my wig was gone, I just screamed out in embarrassment, lol.  I know they probably thought I was having a panic attack but unfortunately it was the shame of my wig abandoning my head at such a crucial time. Everyone believed I had suffered a silent heart attack until the tests came back normal. My iron levels were fine and no I didn’t have a stroke. Numerous tests were carried out on me but nothing could explain why I collapsed. The only thing the doctors could conclude was that stress had a major part to play. I spent two nights in the hospital and was advised to take it easy because next time I might not be so lucky.

images (1)

It was obvious from that incident I needed to get a grip on things but I just didn’t have the strength to get myself together. So I did what I do best and blocked out the problems by slipping away into isolation. I didn’t want to hear what my family or friends had to say anymore. I didn’t want to think about my ex anymore. I just wanted to soothe my wounds. I needed to make myself feel better and I was desperate to fill the pain with something other than the voices of my family and friends. So I kept spending money and boy did it feel good.

My aim was to get away from London and even further away from everyone’s voices. I was so desperate for a change of scenery. So when my girl Lola hit me up about Drakes Boy meets world tour in Berlin, I was all over it. Something about this concert just made sense to me. If you read JWV’s Top 10 things to do in Miami, you would know that we missed out on seeing him the previous year. I strongly sensed this was a rare moment of fate presenting itself and I needed to pay close attention. Without any additional thought, I booked those Drake tickets and Lola & I made plans to set off to Berlin. Little did I know, that this trip was going to be the starting point for my restoration & healing.

Click here for part 1 of my #PostBreakUp Travel series

Lots of Love

Jenna

xoxo

img_0681

Intuition; A blessing in disguise!

If you follow me on the socials, you should have noticed that I have started promoting my #PostBreakUp travel series. 2017 was a great year of travel for me, who knew that heartbreak could take me so far, lol. It didn’t feel right for me to take you through my trips to Berlin, Santorini & Costa Rica, without giving you some insight into how I ended up there in the first place. I have to take you back a bit, so grab some snacks and get comfy.

Being the only girl child at home, I spent a lot of time around my mum (Hey Aunty Lorna). I don’t think it was intentional, but that’s just how it was. I was like her handbag, wherever she was, you would always find me close by. With that being said, I saw a lot and I heard much more.

img_2047-1

Instead of watching cartoons, I would be in the company of my Mother and other knowledgeable women. I spent countless hours sitting on their laps, hanging on to their every word as they exchanged life stories.  Some of the things that my Mother & these women experienced within their romantic relationships should be shared via book deals and movies. Every one of their scars came with a different story and I learned something new, each time I listened. It was through those same conversations, where I first heard about something called ‘Intuition’.

Intuition : The ability to know something without analytic reasoning based soley on a gut feeling.

 Each woman who shared their story talked about ‘intuition’ with the utmost respect. It led some to the front doors of their husband’s mistress. Whilst others uncovered children from outside the relationship. Apparently, intuition had the ability to keep them up late at night, eating away at their conscious until they responded to the call. Many described intuition as a gut feeling, that pushed them to do some crazy things without telling them why.  No two stories that I ever heard about intuition were ever the same. Whether these women responded to their intuition or not, there was always a consequence to whichever path they decided to take.

A majority of the things that I heard my mum and her girlfriends discuss didn’t make much sense to me when I was younger. I just enjoyed being amongst the women and listening, because it filled the void of not having that much girly company around.  Although those conversations didn’t make much sense to me at the time. It would soon prove to be of great value once I blossomed and came into my own.  I didn’t realise just how much I absorbed just from listening to big women have real, raw, and honest conversations about the power of their intuition until it was time for mine to be put to the test.

You-feel-before-you-think_Daily-Inspiration_The-Red-Fairy-Project

A year before my seven-year relationship came to an end, I randomly came across the girl my ex-cheated on me with via facebook. I can remember the day so clearly because I was just browsing and there she was. It was so random but when I look back now, I can tell you that was supposed to happen. Up until that point, I didn’t even know that she existed but after scrolling through her facebook pictures I made the connections and that was that, or so I thought.

This same individuals file came across my desk again, but this time around I was to give her my full attention. Up until this day, I find it difficult to describe the way my spirit was so suddenly drawn to her. I believe it was more spiritual than anything because this girl was a stranger but the sight of her made my spirit unsettled. Whenever I looked at her pictures my gut feelings were always trying to communicate something to me, but sadly I couldn’t interpret what I was being told. So as a result, I suffered.

ba1f1e7632cda5a95fc5714e01bee7b3--intuition-tattoo-intuition-quotes

I heard my mum say once that if you ignore your intuition ‘it ah go mad yuh’( basically send you crazy) and she didn’t lie. I wasn’t even in sync with my intuition like that, so how was I supposed to understand what was being told? How was I suppose to crack those secret codes? I was so scared about what I might find out on the other side, to the point where I tried to bury it in the back of my mind. The more I tried to ignore those signals from my intuition, the louder they got. I couldn’t put them on mute even if I tried.

I know you are probably thinking, why didn’t I just confront my ex and ask him once and for all. I did eventually but even that wasn’t easy.  I was a professional at ignoring negatives feelings that I found difficult to communicate. I mastered those skills during my childhood and sadly it trailed right into my adult life. As silly as this sounds, I didn’t know how to scream if something was wrong. Even within that relationship, I suppressed a lot so when it all came crashing down I am not surprised that I went down with it.

df0c641b31af9c3ab4ad9d2a634ef7aa--dope-quotes-words-quotes

I went to four people before I approached my ex about him cheating on me. My little brother was the first and my mum was the last. I wrestled with this from February and it was now half way through May. I know you are probably cursing me out right now, but there were so many other factors that played a part in me not speaking up earlier. The person he cheated on me with was a family member, so it’s not like I could be out in the streets throwing around those type of sleazy accusations.

What was I going to do?, invite him over for dinner and say ‘hey babe my intuition told me you were cheating on me with your cousin, can you just clear that up real quick?’ Do you know how crazy I would have looked if that turned out to be untrue? This was why I was so conflicted. This was why I wouldn’t risk taking my intuition seriously. My intuition was trying to lead me down some sick twisted roads and I’m not really good with directions.

images

I eventually asked him about her and it is so funny because when I look back now it was obvious my intuition had been leading me to the truth all along. As I type this, I can still see the expression that he had on his face at that moment. As a woman, you want assurance from your man that everything is safe and secure. I wanted him to shut down my doubts and he did, then he flipped the script on me and made me feel guilty for questioning our unit. It was the first time in my life when the opposite sex made me feel small.

I felt very dumb. Especially when he went on to ask me if I was insecure and did I really trust him? It didn’t stop there, he started reminding me of how strong our foundation “was” as a couple. My ex-started preaching. Talking about how we had been through too much together and we have come from so far, for him to ever disrespect me in such a way. I can’t lie, he put forward a good case and it was exactly what I wanted to hear. It was what any woman would have wanted to hear. We hugged each other in silence for about 15minutes after and that was that, or so I thought.

Trust-your-gut_daily-inspiration_2

Steve Jobs said it best, that our intuition is more powerful than our intellect, and I have no grounds to disagree. Even when I didn’t know, even when I didn’t understand things my intuition did. I never took the time to get to know my intuition prior to this experience. Its a bit like buying a top gadget, but you don’t use it for long enough to uncover all of its features. I didn’t know myself as well as I thought I did. I didn’t know how to tap into my intuition and I was far from knowledgeable on how to cultivate a connection. I never really listened to the sound of my inner thoughts properly. I never really took care of myself, because I was always dismissing my feelings.  I was very confused and I couldn’t trust my own intuition because I didn’t really know what my intuition was all about. I missed the signs on numerous occasions and I dismissed the signals because the truth was I wasn’t really listening. I would soon come to regret this when the truth finally came to light.

You see when it all came crashing down and the truth was finally revealed months down the line that my intuition was right all along, it broke me in an instance. All the dots were finally connected. I remember sitting in the car with him and  I couldn’t stop screaming, it’s like my inner voice was finally free. Everything just started to make sense now. I wasn’t going crazy. My intuition wasn’t leading me astray or trying to ruin my relationship or my life. My intuition tried for so long to open me up the truth, its a shame I didn’t realise it sooner.  My intuition was actually a blessing in disguise. Nearly two years on and I finally see it now.

32bcc8848c4fa8a43f8bae275d51ab08.jpg

I have shared this with you before but mum has always told me that you have to burn to learn and she ain’t never lied. I stood by helplessly as my ex- torched me and the total existence of our relationship to the ground. 7 years up in flames, with no bridges to cross back over. As much as I burned, I learned some valuables life lessons during the fire. There’s nothing like real life experience and although it was bittersweet, my break up established the connection between me and my intuition. Reading about it in a book, wouldn’t have got the job done, it was ordained for me to experience it in real time.

I made a vow to myself on the day I found out about the cheating, that I would never ever dismiss my intuition ever again. When it speaks to me now, I listen. When it sends me a signal, I don’t ignore it. When my intuition communicates to me about things and individuals, I don’t second guess it. I move when my intuition tells me to move. What has since occurred in my life post break up is an example of my intuition and me being as one. The moves that I make, the people that I connect to and the travelling that I do, is a result of me simply listening to my intuition.

2b224d380a140a8127916503ad43f5ef

Never in a million years did I think that something like that would have happened to me, but it did and I survived to tell the tale. One thing I know for sure now is that Intuition is a life skill that is required for survival. I encourage you to take the time out and let your intuition guide you. Listen closely. Pay attention to the signs and work on establishing that connection. Don’t ignore it and don’t ever dismiss yourself.  If something or someone feels wrong and you can’t put your finger on it, chances are it probably is.

With that being said, I look forward to taking you through my Post break up Travel series. To read what happened next, click here and once you have digested that, the first stop will be in Berlin.

img_5024

You really don’t want to miss this one. To stay in the loop with all my new blog posts, you can subscribe by following me on WordPress. If you are on the socials platforms you can find me on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook @JennasWorldView.

Stay Blessed

Lots of Love

Jenna

xoxo

#TravelDiary:Like 2pac in 93, I get around

il_fullxfull.756342809_jx50.jpg

When I launched JWV last month (March 2018), I kicked it off with a blog post about my recent trip to Rome (You can read about it here). I basically took my readers to Rome through a descriptive recap of how it all went down and it was a VIBE, if I do say so myself.

But, as I have said before I haven’t just been to Rome. Your girl has made a couple of trips here and there. Although it might not be as much as the average travel blogger, I have made some movements. I could be wrong but I don’t think there is a minimum amount of countries you are required to visit yearly to qualify as a travel blogger. If you love to travel, do it frequently and have the capacity to put out content, then BOOM you are good to go.

The most countries that I have visited in one year is three (2013 & 2017). Some people have the capacity to travel much more than that and that too is amazing. Whether you travel once a year or more, be grateful. As there are loads of people who would love to do it but just don’t have the time or resources.

So here is part one of my travel diary. I don’t have any pictures of my travel trips as a baby though. Issa long story, but have a read below, enjoy and stay tuned for part two coming soon.

coming_soon_web.jpg

2002 – Miami

Daddy took his baby girl to Miami…

When my Dad told me he was taking me to Miami, Florida back in 2002. I was gassed. Super excited. Right up until I arrived in Miami, I kept singing “All night, on the beach till the break of dawn. Welcome to Miami, Bienvenidos a Miami”.  Hella cheesy but I was only 10 years old, so give me a break lol.

It was not all fun and games though because the real reason for this trip was my Grans funeral. If you ever had a death in the family you will know that it is usually filled with tears, sadness and “ole leap ah drama”. My Pups did a good job to keep me out of that though. I spent most of my time out shopping, recreating the Destiny’s Child “I’m a survivor” beach scenes at the beach, eating and of course a trip to Disneyland. I remember it like it was yesterday. I felt like one of those celebrity kids,anything I wanted or needed, my Daddy made it happen.

This was my first trip to the USA and if you read my (Is Sisterhood dying out here in these streets?) blog post last month, I shared how much I followed Black American Culture growing up. So you can just imagine how much of a field day I had out there. I was fascinated with everything because everything was literally 10 x larger than the stuff in the UK, especially the junk food.

I loved my time spent in Miami because it allowed me to reconnect with my Dads family on another level. I learned a bit more about my Fathers foundation and the type of family that I was born into.  I listened to him and his siblings share their childhood stories and looked through 100s of old photos. It really helped me piece together elements of my identity and of course understand a bit more about my Jamaican heritage.

2007 – Italy

Learning a thing or two in Florence…

My first school trip abroad and it didnt disappoint, I had so much fun. We didn’t fly though, we made our way to Dover got on the ferry and drove the entire way into Florence. It was everything I imagined a school trip to be plus more. I can remember sitting on the Coach with my Song Ericsson W810 listening to “Seany B ft Gemma Fox – Us against the world” (CHANNEL U classic) and thinking about my first boyfriend, who sadly was in jail at the time (sigh lol).  Anyway, the trip was eventful, educational and fun. I climbed the leaning tower of Piasa all the top to the top. Tossed coins in Trevi fountain, I made a promise to return & I did (click here to read about it). I also visited ‘La Specola Anatomical Collection, the largest and most famous wax anatomical collection anywhere in the world. After this trip, I vowed to myself that when I got a little bit older I would travel around the world as much as I could. It is safe to say that self- fulfilling prophecy is currently manifesting.

slide_firenze.jpg

2010 – New York

Big dreams in the concrete jungle…

img_3186

If you don’t know by now, I love Black America. I always have and I probably always will. When the opportunity presented itself for me to go to NEW YORKKKKK, I was all over that like Bees on honey. I had started my 2nd Job in ALLSAINTS head office the December of 2009 (shout out to my God sister for the hook up) and when I tell you I put in work for every bit of GBP that I earned to make that trip to New York possible.

torag-i-love-new-york_a-G-7694906-0

I don’t think no one truly understands just how much my heart bleeds for America, especially New York. I used to dream about living and working out there for yearssssss. It was a dream come true when I finally stepped on NYC soil. As soon as I checked into my hotel, I dropped my bags off and ran out onto Times Square. Those brights lights penetrated right through me and I couldn’t hold back my excitement. To dream about this place as a child and to finally be there many years later, confirmed to me that anything in life is possible. If you really want it!

img_3189

New York, has a piece of my heart. In some weird way, I feel like God has something patterned out there for me. I am not sure what that may be, but if the opportunity presents itself I will surely be ready.  I spent most of this trip shopping as sightseeing was kept to a minimal. I even declined to visit Ground Zero because I felt overwhelmed being quite close to the grounds. The shopping in NYC was top notch, I felt like a kid in a candy store and came home with two suitcases packed to capacity. I also got a chance to visit the Maury show, I was a big fan back then, so it was such a vibe to go down there and see everything up close and personal. I even got a chance to visit HARLEM and my oh my, it truly felt like being back home in BRIXTON. The multi-culture of the people and the vibes of the community felt oh so familiar. New York needs to see me again, as I have so much to see and much more to do.

2012 – Dominican Republic

Scared straight in the DR…

This trip to the Dominican Republic came about after a random convo one night on BBM. DR has got to be one of the safest holidays that I have ever been on. Reading those government safety warnings before travelling really made us take extra care. We were so scared on this holiday to the point where we only left the hotel complex, to go to the beach. Looking back now, I feel very dumb. Like a pie slapped in my face kinda dumb, lol. We were under the impression we would get kidnapped by our neighbours in Haiti or even some pirates. Lord forgive us for that high level of ignorance.

We stayed at the Ifa villas Bravo all-inclusive resort, which included spa facilities of course lol. The food wasn’t that great but the beach and spa made up for it. If you ever get a chance to experience a full chocolate body massage, do it. The pictures from this trip are hilarious. My weave was about 26 INCHES (see below) and my travel case was filled with maxi dresses and sandals.

Relaxing, taking pictures for Instagram (it was the new thing back then) and recording videos of ourselves rapping to Rick Ross & Drake was mainly what this trip consisted of. I do regret not exploring as much, but I was a novice in the Travel game back then. Its safe to say that the Dominican Republic needs a do-over, Baecation maybe? lol

2013 – Turkey

Young & not so carefree in Turkey…

I believe my whole trip cost me about £389 for a one week all-inclusive trip to Marmaris. I didn’t really know what to expect but it actually turned out to be better than I could of imagined. I enjoyed a photo shoot on a boat, I got dipped in Marmaris Jesus beach and I went snorkelling for the first time. I even survived Quad biking through the forest and experienced my first EVER Turkish bath.

My mum went into a crazy frenzy when she saw the picture of me blowing out the Shisha smoke, lol. Black Mothers & their theatrics never cease to amaze me, lol. Even when you become a legal adult your parents still don’t know how to let go of you. If my mum knew how many takes it took to get this one picture, she would not have wasted her time cussing me out.

This was my first holiday as a 21-year-old woman. It was during one of the best times in my life. My friendship circle, social life and education were truly buzzing. Life was good, life was really good and this trip was like a cherry on top of all the great things that were happening in my life.

2013 – Jamaica

Likkle miss, Likkle miss ah gwan like she big in Jamaica…

Going to Jamaica as a 21-year-old adult is much different than when you go there as a child with adult supervision. I need you to understand that when it came to leaving Jamaica, I cried like a big baby at the airport. I didn’t want to go home. My spirit was so peaceful and I felt free. I literally had no cares in the world, the only thing that was on my mind was my motives for each day.

Jamaica was everything plus more.  I was on such a high as I had played in the London Nottinghill carnival two weeks before flying out . So you know my head was still on a high from the moment I got on that plane. My Jamaica antics were plain and simple. I went to a dance every night, strolled back to the hotel at 7 am most mornings, I felt shame every single time and did it again the next day, LOL. I stayed at the Sunset Grande which has now been renovated and renamed Moon Palace.

I visited Dolphin Cove, Dunn’s Rivers Falls, Bob Marley’s Mausoleum. I ate KFC, juicy patties, box food and slurped bag juice on a daily basis. I even went to the infamous adult entertainment nightclub SHADES. I was truly horrified,because what I saw in that nightclub traumatized me for life. Google that if you are bad, but do it at your own risk, lool.

img_3224

img_3153

In all honesty though you can never go to Jamaica and hate it, it’s just not possible.

2013 – Morocco 

Weekend antics in Morocco…

This was the first time that I ever took a flight by myself. Things were going well until I had to stop off in Casa Blanca for my connecting flight to Marrakesh. How was I supposed to know that my luggage would be transferred onto the next flight, without me having to go through bag drop again? Please believe I was crying frantically all through that airport. If you read ‘When in Rome, do shows‘ you will know that I am not fluent in any other language apart from English. I didn’t understand a word of Arabic and I am sure the airport staff couldn’t understand my English through snot & tears lol.

To cut a long story short, I managed to get my luggage once on the other side. I spent the weekend in a private 4 bedroom villa, which included individual bathrooms, wifi, an outdoor pool, private chef with a chauffeur.

Nikki Beach, Camel rides and fine dining at the Four Seasons hotel, were just some of the great memories that I made in Morocco. It truly deserves a do-over, but it will probably be somewhere I will go with my Husband for one of our getaways or anniversary trips. I am not married just yet guys, but my Husband will soon find me, so watch this space, lol.

I hope you enjoyed part 1 of my Travel diary, look out for Part 2 coming soon. Also let me know if we have been to any of the same places or if you plan to visit some of the places that I have.

If you are flying out this year and need help with your Travel Wardrobe, check out the first edition of #JWV TravelGlam Lookbook for some style tips & inspiration.

Need help packing your travel case? I got you, check out  #JWV Top 10 Travel essentials to help you get things in order.

As always my boo, thank you for reading.

If you enjoyed this blog post or any others, please re-post on your socials.

Stay blessed Peeps

Lots of Love

Jenna

xoxox

The cost of living a lie. . .

 

IMG_5167

Living a lie: To live in a way that is dishonest because you are pretending to be something that you are not, to yourself or to other people

Everyone at some point in their life has lived a lie or is currently living one right now.

There.

I Said it.

Sometimes it is not intentional. It can happen so easily that you didn’t even realise you were doing it. Days, months and years can rapidly go by whilst those lies have embedded themselves so perfectly into your life. You have become so accustomed to it, that you can no longer differentiate the real from the fake. After spending a significant amount of time deceiving others, you have become so unrecognizable even to yourself.

When I thought about it deeply, most of us were encouraged to engage in pretend play as children. It was where some of us mastered the ‘Art of pretending’. Putting on a different face and persona depending on who or what we wanted to be. I couldn’t help but wonder if our natural ability to pretend and fake it as children has secretly crept into our adulthood? Is this the reason why some people are out here on social media lying hard through them filters to maintain a false image of who they really are? If it’s not this, could our families or upbringing be to blame?

In some households, children were taught from an early age not to discuss their family business. Forced to cover things up and keep family secrets to ensure a clean image of the family was maintained. Even if things were going wrong. Could this be the missing link or am I reaching? Lol. I may not be clear on what causes people to pretend and live a lie. I just know that the consequences of doing so will cause more harm than good.

social-media-are-we-living-a-lie

To be honest, it actually baffles me that people can go online and create a magnified persona and lifestyle that is so far away from who they really are. I know this is something that has been happening for years but it has now reached new heights within today’s society. Celebrities, reality TV personas and social Influencers have done changed the game. It is so easy to deceive and be deceived. In the world of social media, lace frontal’s serve scalp realness, flat tummy tea and waist trainers can give you a flat stomach without a proper diet and those are just some of the most bait common examples.

Look what happened to #VisaBae last week, she was out here doing luxury life on the gram. Yet she was facing deportation, having to desperately beg her followers to finance her visa. Who am I to say #IssaScam? It is not my story to tell, but what I will say is #VisaBae is a prime example of the people who portray to live a luxury lifestyle online that does not reflect their actual reality. The funny thing is, #VisaBae is no different to the millions of people across the world who lie about their lives, she just exposed herself.

5d41e9c80ca48cfa5f9105a81c2192e9

Fake is the new normal and its here to stay

These days everyone is striving to look like they have become while missing out on the process of becoming? Hiding behind filtered pictures, accompanied by powerful captions that are so far away from their truth. Many people scream ‘its just social media’ don’t take it seriously when in fact it is a big deal. Social media has shaped the way we view ourselves and others, whether we like it or not. It is so easy to get “lost in the sauce”. Seeing other people travel, start a business, embark on new ventures, get married or start a family can have a person feeling as if their life is not flourishing.

Sadly, today’s culture is very much driven by what can be seen. So there is no surprise why many individuals feel as if they need to appear as though every area of their life is intact. People are out here flexing. Doing shows. Losing their dignity and damaging their peace of mind just to portray themselves as something they are not. The pressure is real out here in these streets and so is the self-scrutiny. Many individuals start to feel like they not good enough or that their lives lack something because they are not doing gymnastics to pose in a pair of red bottoms on the gram.

Social Media

As a newbie blogger, I had to check out the blogging community to see what was out there. There are many bloggers who are doing some amazing things that I am not doing and that is ok. My time will come. Instead of being jealous of what I saw others doing online, I was inspired more than ever to get started. Social media is so powerful it can make people jealous, bitter and envious of what other people have or appear to have. It is shameful, but its happening. Aunty Lorna (my mum) has always told me that I must never ever envy other people. Especially for material things, as I do not know what they had to go through to get them. I will always live by this gem and you should too.

As you read this, just know there are major personalities in the media, who appear to be bold, confident and have it all. Behind the scenes, they are lonely, sad, depressed, addicted, or on the brink of suicide. Yet just by what they post, there are people out there who would trade places with them in a heartbeat. People crave for things they have no real idea about and it needs to stop.

The girl who posts three times a day about her “fantastic relationship”, shows off all her luxury gifts from her man is actually in debt. Baby girl is robbing one credit card to pay the other, all because she is maintaining the man. The poor thing pays for everything behind the scenes yet you can’t stand her because it looks like she “has it all”. Other girls are out here getting pissed on by a rich dude for a handbag & flight to the Maldives just to flash about on the socials. Believe it or not, guys are out here doing just as much crazy things as women to maintain a false image. Certain dudes are out engaging in so much illegal activity just to sport designer clothes. All while they sleep on the cold floor of their mum’s council property that is drowning in rent arrears.

MAD

MAD

MAD

nouw-1_58c15aca2a6b22211ce85498

Most people shy away from their truth by using things like drugs, relationships, raving, alcohol etc as a disguise for their problems or pain. When my 7-year relationship ended in 2016. I was hurt and I had every right to be. To deal with the aftermath of my break up I spent money. Not no eeeeediat, I spent lots of money, I booked holidays, concerts, festivals, I purchased things impulsively as a way to pacify my pain and hide how I was truly feeling.

I did some crazy things LOL but I don’t actually regret them. I am happy that it was money that I used as an outlet to soothe my heartbreak. It was a beautiful nightmare that allowed me to learn a great deal about myself, even though the process was bludclart painful. By lying to myself about how I was feeling and living only delayed my healing and new blessings. I did overtime trying to convince MYSELF that I was all good. When I finally gave in, I went down a bitter-sweet road of self-discovery. I had no choice but to turn my pain into power and it has opened more doors for me than living in that lie ever did.

il_570xN.1039740545_qpkz

One thing life has taught me so far is that you can lie to other people, but you cant lie to yourself or the creator. No matter how hard you try, your demons will catch up to you. So it’s better, to be honest, and true to yourself. You may feel like you are so far gone into the lies that you are unable to get out of it. Issa lie boo. I have said this before and I will say it again unless you are dead in the grave, there is still time for a change, real change. It is ok. You can stop pretending. Take those necessary steps because living a lie on social media is one thing, but living a lie in real life is another.

The cost of living in a lie will ultimately destroy you. It’s no secret that other people will get hurt in the process but the real damage is the harm that YOU inflict on yourself. Pretending to be ok when you are not ok is not ok. Saving face to maintain a false image of yourself and your lifestyle is not ok. Spending money you don’t have to keep up with the Jones will only lead you to financial problems. Doing things to please other people when you know deep down it’s not right with your soul is not ok. So I write this piece to challenge you to Breathe and Live in your authentic truth.

Everyone was created with God-given purpose and it is our duty in this life to discover what that is and use it for the greater good. When you live in a lie you only rob yourself of the life, opportunities and relationships that were ordained for you. In my last post ‘Issa New Month: APRIL’ I spoke about the importance of reflection and how we must practise it to evaluate our thoughts, actions and behaviours. Do yourself a favour and be honest with where you are. If you know that deep down you are not living truthfully, its time to remove the mask.

Don’t be afraid. There is no need for you to pretend to be anything other than what you were created to be. Living a lie will only take you further than you ever intended to go and who knows where you could end up. Embrace who you are and where you are at in your life, because you only get one. Jcole was right when he said: “no such thing as a life that’s better than yours. This is why you must Love Yours AND LIVE IN YOUR TRUTH.

 

images (1)

2018 for me is the year for real life change, growth, transformation and positive scandals. It is not limited to just me though, you can get in on some of this good stuff too, but you have to be intentional about what you want out of life. Think about it, but not for too long. Whoa, this was a heavy post so I HAVE to end it with a prayer.

Dear Heavenly Father, I pray for the individual reading this, I pray that you will stirrup in them the urge to throw off their mask and step into their beautiful God-given truth. May they find the courage to be who you created and called them to be. Let every situation that causes them to hurt, lie, cheat, steal and deceive may it be uprooted and destroyed. In order to make room for new things to be planted in their life that will lead them further into their destiny.

Amen.

prayer

Stay blessed peeps

Twitter, Instagram & Facebook @JennasWorldView

 

Lots Of Love

Jenna

xoxo

IMG-3049