At the end of The wall that came down in Berlin, things looked promising for me as I made the decision to break down the wall of disappointment and start the process of moving on after the breakup. It was an unexpected heart to heart with one of my good girlfriends Lola that gave me the push in the right direction and I thank God it did.
There was a 3-month gap between my trips to Berlin & Santorini and in that space of time, things got better. I would not say they were great but things did get better. With each new day that came, the memories of the relationship did not hurt as much. I spent less time replaying the trauma in my mind and more time trying to catch back my rhythm. I had no other choice but to purge my ex out of my system. The crazy thing is, I did not realise just how deeply woven he was into the fine details of my life until the time came for me to eliminate him. From my Netflix password to the passcode on my phone, everything had to be changed.
I finally reached the ‘it is what it is’ stage and when a woman hits that point, there is no going back. Think of Angela Bassett in ‘Waiting to Exhale‘. Now I did not burn any clothes or cars, but I did sale the remainder of his things in my possession on eBay and disposed of the rest. I slowly morphed into a new me. I kept my hair and nail appointments on the books like clockwork. I stayed busy, revived my social life and slowly got myself back into the groove of things. I even started to wear red lipstick, something I vowed to never ever do, lol. Putting your life back together after it has been scattered is never easy and I made sure to have fun with it. My glow was not back in the full effect just yet, but baby it was on the way.
I have to keep it real with you, when I told Aunty Lorna that I was going to Santorini for a party holiday, I am pretty sure she was convinced that I had lost my mind. A whole Jenna going on a party holiday? The same Jenna who can only manage two Pina Coladas? It sounded like a major risk on my part and it was definitely out of character for me as I have never been on a party holiday before.
I heard about Supa Dupa Fly x Santorini through Astra, who just happens to be another one of my big sister figures. Astra came into my life when I was 15, as the girlfriend of my older brother. Astra is the girlfriend your brother brings home, the whole family fall in love with her and even after their relationship ends, she still remains a part of the family. Yeah, that’s my Astra, so when she told me about her plans to attend Santorini for this festival, my intuition sent me signals that I just could not ignore.
Supa Dupa Fly host the number one throwback RnB and Hip Hop nights in London. Throwing the hottest parties all through the year. Three years ago the team took their magic to Santorini and the rest is history. Astra, me, Kerry, Frankie & Liz attended SDF in their second year of residency on the island.
All the girls were aware of my breakup so everyone was determined to make sure that I had the best time. We departed from London on an evening flight, then stopped in Athens to hop on our connecting flight to Santorini. For the record, I despise layovers, but we had no other choice because our original direct flight got cancelled, lol
As soon as I stepped off the plane, I was welcomed into Santorini by a beautiful sunset and I just felt a calm sense of peace. I gave myself a little pep talk like “Jenna you are in Santorini boo, you deserve this. Forget about the last few months baby girl it is time to turn up”.I was determined to enjoy this trip and make the most of it.
My first thoughts on Santorini were that it was authentic and untouched in most aspects of appearance. I did not fall in love with it at first sight and I ignorantly asked Astra where were all of those blue and white buildings I had seen on Instagram? I did not do much research on the place so you could imagine the shock I felt when I kept seeing Donkeys on every street. But, I thought to myself it is what it is if I have to ride on Donkeys for the next few days, then so be it. I was thousands of miles away from my comfort zone and I had no choice but to bite the bullet.
From the airport, we went straight to our serviced apartment, which I must say was absolutely gorgeous. It was better than I expected and I am a hotel junkie who is very hard to please. We stayed in a local area, with a tight-knit community that was ideally close to everything we needed. Once the rooms were sorted, we secured our Quad bikes, sourced some food and patterned things up for our first night in town.
We attended the Welcome party on the first night and it was such a vibe. No one’s face was screwed up, everyone was bubbling and smiling. The drinks were flowing, the video cameras were rolling. People were snapping and the crowd was losing their mind to whatever song the Dj was spinning. I was surprised to see such a mixed crowd of people, but no-one I recognised, so that was an added bonus.
One thing about me I love my music and although I am not a party girl, I am a dancehall Queen who is always in and out of retirement. It did not take long for the girls and I to find one corner and start getting down. Supa Dupa fly are known for 90s RnB and hip-hop music, so when I heard Vybez Kartel ‘Fever‘ ring out inside the place, it was game over lol. Astra took one look at me and said “Jenna your time now” anyone who knows me should know what happened next. Dancehall queen Jenna came right up out of retirement.
I had to catch a 5min breather from all of that dancing, so I went outside and started to cool off with my signature fan. As I stood outside, the scent of sweet cologne smacked me right in the face and awakened my senses. It did not take me long to find out who was behind the scent. The stars in Santorini must have been aligned that night because what I saw snatched the little piece of edges I had left.
The mystery man that stood a few steps away from me was about 6ft 4, dipped in Chocolate and glistened with all kinds of sauce. I scanned him from head to toe in under 8 seconds flat and then happened to notice a festival wristband on his left arm…BINGO lol. 8 seconds turned into 30 and just as I was about to take my gaze off him, then suddenly our eyes made four. Whewww Chile…..
We both smiled. I then looked away because I couldn’t handle the heat lol. Mystery man and swayed off back into the crowd.
“JENNA why did you not say hello”???? I angrily questioned myself in my head.
But then I thought, even if I did say hello, what the heck was I going to say? Funnily enough I did not get a chance to answer that question because before I knew it he had reappeared and I just went for the plunge and said “Hiiiiiiiiii”
Thank the Lord that I did because he turned out to be really lovely. This fine piece of man was much older than me and he certainly was not from London. Mystery Chocolate was from the states and he lived and worked in one of my favourite cities. The more he told me about himself, the more I became impressed. Especially when he mentioned that he loved to travel. Now I won’t spill all the tea due to these new GDPR changes lol. But what I will say is we did exchange details and jokingly through out there that we would try to do brunch before our time on the island was up.
L O L,
Now I know you are thinking OMG and you probably did not see that one coming, but neither did I. However Astra on the other hand, saw the whole thing and came rushing over to me once he slipped away back into the crowd. “Tell me everything JEN” Astra insisted but, honestly there was not much to tell. I saw a guy, our eyes made four, we chatted and exchanged details. It was no big deal, but I have to admit, I was so proud of myself for being a bold baddie and saying “Hiiiiiiiiiiiii”
Now, I have to be honest a party holiday is hardcore stuff you know. I partied all through the night and got arrived back our apartment in the early hours of the morning. I missed breakfast most mornings and only woke up just in time for brunch. With only a few hours left to enjoy the day before, to do it all again. Luckily for me, I managed to get a ONE beach day in and boy was it worth it. The Ladies and I visited Perissa Black sand Beach, which is famous for the red and black volcanic pebbles that lay across the shores. I had never been to a beach of this kind before, I only ever head about it in songs (shout out to my Aunty Mary J Blige lol)
I decided to take a walk across the shores of the Perissa beach, play my favourite gospel song at the time and pray (see video below). Water is purifying and I always feel the presence of peace whenever I am around it. Between you and I, I released old layers of myself and life in that prayer that day. It was not planned, but I guess it just had to happen. After my prayer walk across the beach, I sensed that something greater was coming my way because whenever you release, you always gain.
It was halfway through my trip when I met two sisters from London Chanel and Chloe. Now I remember spotting them on our flights, but we did not end up speaking until we found ourselves dancing the night away side by side in a cave on the island. Chloe and I clicked instantly and she revealed to me that she and Chanel spotted me at the club on the first night getting my Life to Vybez Kartel, LOL.
We exchanged details and I made another promise to link up before we left. On that same night, I met so many other people. It did not feel like I was in a rave, but more like a large scale networking event. I established so many divine connections in that one night, I will never ever forget my raving experience in Santorini. I strongly sensed that I was right where I was supposed to be, just like in Berlin. So I vowed to keep my eyes and ears open because I was sure there was something else that I was supposed to receive on this island.
Party holidays are like a yo-yo, you party day and night and the cycle continues until it is time to fly home. By now, I am sure you get the picture. I partied, I slept, I ate and I partied some more. Before I left I did get a chance to meet up with Chanel, Chloe and Mystery Chocolate again. It was these two link-ups that made me start to look at the breakup in a whole new light.
After an evening of raving, everyone was scattered across the local strip trying to buy food. I do not know how this happened, but I somehow got lost and could not find the girls. One minute they were there and the next they were gone. This is the only way that I can explain it. I was agitated, kinda shook and definitely hungry. I stumbled into a Chinese food shop and to my surprise, inside sat both Chanel and Chloe.
I immediately sat down and ordered food to their table. You know how Women can be we start a conversation about food and then end up talking about Men and that is exactly what happened. Before I knew it, Chanel and I were exchanging war stories about our past relationships. If you have learned one thing about me by now, you know that I am not afraid to tell my story.
The conversation that I had with the sisters that night literally blew my mind. The girls and I spoke for nearly two hours and I truly felt empowered by these two sisters who were complete strangers to me only a few days ago. Chanel was older than both me and Chloe, she reminded me so much of my mum in the way she freely spoke her mind. It was raw and unapologetic and all I could do was surrender to her words and listen. As Chanel spoke, Chloe and I chimed in from time to time but we made sure to take our notes, lol.
The Chinese food shop owners wanted out so they could close down for the night. As we got up to leave Chanel looked me dead in my face and said ‘Your ex-did you a favour. The betrayal is actually a blessing and I know that you can’t see it now, but when you do you will never be the same again”. Those words LITERALLY sent a chill down my spine. Chanel was right because I truly did not understand any of it. My ex cheating, the betrayal, the hurt, the lies, the pain, none of it made sense. But I knew that the time would come when I would and I could sense that I was getting closer to it. When I made it back to the apartment, I sat on the balcony and let the cool breeze of the night soothe my soul. I truly had no words, because what is understood does not need to be explained!
As for Mystery Chocolate, we kept running into each other at the parties, both still in limbo about when we were going to pencil in this brunch. It even became a running joke every time we ran into each other. Eventually, we did get a chance to catch up and together we enjoyed a lovely stroll in perfect sight of the Caldera View.
Our little link-up was so refreshing, Mystery Chocolate is an educated Black man who knew his stuff, he certainly was all that plus a bag of chips. We had good conversation and of course I told him a bit more about myself and how I had gone through a really hard time after my break up months before. We talked about the ups and downs of relationships, the music business, the welfare system in the states, Obama and the rap lyrics of Notorious BIG lol.
Before we departed ways he told me to take a good look at the remains of the Caldera. So there I stood snapping away on my phone and he begins to tell me about the history of Santorini. MC told me the existing Island of Santorini is the remains of a bigger Island that was destroyed by an explosive volcanic eruption in 1646 BC. The Volcano left nothing but this big blackened rock that I was awkwardly staring at.
As I gazed on, taking in the view and going over my little history lesson in my head. Suddenly he turned to me and said: “the result of the eruption created five separate islands including Santorini and from an explosion, beautiful things are able to be created”. I stood in awe as I let those words penetrate through my entire system. WOW, I thought to myself I just received another piece of the puzzle.
Santorini will always have a piece of my heart, nothing more or less. I went there with the intention to party hard and have fun. However, I received more than I expected, as I danced through each day and night. The people that I met and the conversations that I had helped to guide me through to the next chapter of my healing journey.
On the plane back home I thanked Astra for letting me hop on the girls trip. Astra laughed and said ‘anytime Jen, you know I got you. You did good girl, I could not believe you were able to hang in there”. I laughed because I could not believe it myself. Astra went on to say this and I quote. “you’re doing well Jen, you took that fall and you got back up, everything happens for a reason and remember Jen, karma is a B*&^H, so we keep our noses clean”.
I gave Astra the biggest smile and rested my head back on my seat. I was more than ready to get back home to London and start living my new life to the fullest. Summer 17 was soon approaching and I was not going to let the skeletons of my past hold me back anymore.
The last stop in my post break up travel series will be Costa Rica. I might as well go ahead and tell you that the hurt and heartbroken Jenna that you have read about so far did not make it to Costa Rica. So sit tight because the Jenna that I am about to introduce you to will have you screaming YASSSSSS from the top of your lungs, lol
One last thing: Make sure you sign up to my subscription list so that you never ever miss the drop when I post new blog content. Also, if you missed the memo Jennas World Views Glow up that was planned for Monday 6th August 2018 was put on hold until further notice. There were some difficulties behind the scenes and although I still wanted to reveal my logo (which is amazing btw) I decided NOT to.
In addition to that, the Post break up series must come to an end before I transition into my new look. In order for me to sow fruitful seeds into #JWV I can no longer mix the old with the new. As soon as things are back on track, you will be the first to know.
Thank you for your patience, time, love and support.
Lots of Love