Everyone at some point in their life has lived a lie or is currently living one right now.
I Said it.
Sometimes it is not intentional. It can happen so easily that you didn’t even realise you were doing it. Days, months and years can rapidly go by whilst those lies have embedded themselves so perfectly into your life. You have become so accustomed to it, that you can no longer differentiate the real from the fake. After spending a significant amount of time deceiving others, you have become so unrecognizable even to yourself.
When I thought about it deeply, most of us were encouraged to engage in pretend play as children. It was where some of us mastered the ‘Art of pretending’. Putting on a different face and persona depending on who or what we wanted to be. I couldn’t help but wonder if our natural ability to pretend and fake it as children has secretly crept into our adulthood? Is this the reason why some people are out here on social media lying hard through them filters to maintain a false image of who they really are? If it’s not this, could our families or upbringing be to blame?
In some households, children were taught from an early age not to discuss their family business. Forced to cover things up and keep family secrets to ensure a clean image of the family was maintained. Even if things were going wrong. Could this be the missing link or am I reaching? Lol. I may not be clear on what causes people to pretend and live a lie. I just know that the consequences of doing so will cause more harm than good.
To be honest, it actually baffles me that people can go online and create a magnified persona and lifestyle that is so far away from who they really are. I know this is something that has been happening for years but it has now reached new heights within today’s society. Celebrities, reality TV personas and social Influencers have done changed the game. It is so easy to deceive and be deceived. In the world of social media, lace frontal’s serve scalp realness, flat tummy tea and waist trainers can give you a flat stomach without a proper diet and those are just some of the most bait common examples.
Look what happened to #VisaBae last week, she was out here doing luxury life on the gram. Yet she was facing deportation, having to desperately beg her followers to finance her visa. Who am I to say #IssaScam? It is not my story to tell, but what I will say is #VisaBae is a prime example of the people who portray to live a luxury lifestyle online that does not reflect their actual reality. The funny thing is, #VisaBae is no different to the millions of people across the world who lie about their lives, she just exposed herself.
Fake is the new normal and its here to stay
These days everyone is striving to look like they have become while missing out on the process of becoming? Hiding behind filtered pictures, accompanied by powerful captions that are so far away from their truth. Many people scream ‘its just social media’ don’t take it seriously when in fact it is a big deal. Social media has shaped the way we view ourselves and others, whether we like it or not. It is so easy to get “lost in the sauce”. Seeing other people travel, start a business, embark on new ventures, get married or start a family can have a person feeling as if their life is not flourishing.
Sadly, today’s culture is very much driven by what can be seen. So there is no surprise why many individuals feel as if they need to appear as though every area of their life is intact. People are out here flexing. Doing shows. Losing their dignity and damaging their peace of mind just to portray themselves as something they are not. The pressure is real out here in these streets and so is the self-scrutiny. Many individuals start to feel like they not good enough or that their lives lack something because they are not doing gymnastics to pose in a pair of red bottoms on the gram.
As a newbie blogger, I had to check out the blogging community to see what was out there. There are many bloggers who are doing some amazing things that I am not doing and that is ok. My time will come. Instead of being jealous of what I saw others doing online, I was inspired more than ever to get started. Social media is so powerful it can make people jealous, bitter and envious of what other people have or appear to have. It is shameful, but its happening. Aunty Lorna (my mum) has always told me that I must never ever envy other people. Especially for material things, as I do not know what they had to go through to get them. I will always live by this gem and you should too.
As you read this, just know there are major personalities in the media, who appear to be bold, confident and have it all. Behind the scenes, they are lonely, sad, depressed, addicted, or on the brink of suicide. Yet just by what they post, there are people out there who would trade places with them in a heartbeat. People crave for things they have no real idea about and it needs to stop.
The girl who posts three times a day about her “fantastic relationship”, shows off all her luxury gifts from her man is actually in debt. Baby girl is robbing one credit card to pay the other, all because she is maintaining the man. The poor thing pays for everything behind the scenes yet you can’t stand her because it looks like she “has it all”. Other girls are out here getting pissed on by a rich dude for a handbag & flight to the Maldives just to flash about on the socials. Believe it or not, guys are out here doing just as much crazy things as women to maintain a false image. Certain dudes are out engaging in so much illegal activity just to sport designer clothes. All while they sleep on the cold floor of their mum’s council property that is drowning in rent arrears.
Most people shy away from their truth by using things like drugs, relationships, raving, alcohol etc as a disguise for their problems or pain. When my 7-year relationship ended in 2016. I was hurt and I had every right to be. To deal with the aftermath of my break up I spent money. Not no eeeeediat, I spent lots of money, I booked holidays, concerts, festivals, I purchased things impulsively as a way to pacify my pain and hide how I was truly feeling.
I did some crazy things LOL but I don’t actually regret them. I am happy that it was money that I used as an outlet to soothe my heartbreak. It was a beautiful nightmare that allowed me to learn a great deal about myself, even though the process was bludclart painful. By lying to myself about how I was feeling and living only delayed my healing and new blessings. I did overtime trying to convince MYSELF that I was all good. When I finally gave in, I went down a bitter-sweet road of self-discovery. I had no choice but to turn my pain into power and it has opened more doors for me than living in that lie ever did.
One thing life has taught me so far is that you can lie to other people, but you cant lie to yourself or the creator. No matter how hard you try, your demons will catch up to you. So it’s better, to be honest, and true to yourself. You may feel like you are so far gone into the lies that you are unable to get out of it. Issa lie boo. I have said this before and I will say it again unless you are dead in the grave, there is still time for a change, real change. It is ok. You can stop pretending. Take those necessary steps because living a lie on social media is one thing, but living a lie in real life is another.
The cost of living in a lie will ultimately destroy you. It’s no secret that other people will get hurt in the process but the real damage is the harm that YOU inflict on yourself. Pretending to be ok when you are not ok is not ok. Saving face to maintain a false image of yourself and your lifestyle is not ok. Spending money you don’t have to keep up with the Jones will only lead you to financial problems. Doing things to please other people when you know deep down it’s not right with your soul is not ok. So I write this piece to challenge you to Breathe and Live in your authentic truth.
Everyone was created with God-given purpose and it is our duty in this life to discover what that is and use it for the greater good. When you live in a lie you only rob yourself of the life, opportunities and relationships that were ordained for you. In my last post ‘Issa New Month: APRIL’ I spoke about the importance of reflection and how we must practise it to evaluate our thoughts, actions and behaviours. Do yourself a favour and be honest with where you are. If you know that deep down you are not living truthfully, its time to remove the mask.
Don’t be afraid. There is no need for you to pretend to be anything other than what you were created to be. Living a lie will only take you further than you ever intended to go and who knows where you could end up. Embrace who you are and where you are at in your life, because you only get one. Jcole was right when he said: “no such thing as a life that’s better than yours. This is why you must Love Yours AND LIVE IN YOUR TRUTH.
2018 for me is the year for real life change, growth, transformation and positive scandals. It is not limited to just me though, you can get in on some of this good stuff too, but you have to be intentional about what you want out of life. Think about it, but not for too long. Whoa, this was a heavy post so I HAVE to end it with a prayer.
Dear Heavenly Father, I pray for the individual reading this, I pray that you will stirrup in them the urge to throw off their mask and step into their beautiful God-given truth. May they find the courage to be who you created and called them to be. Let every situation that causes them to hurt, lie, cheat, steal and deceive may it be uprooted and destroyed. In order to make room for new things to be planted in their life that will lead them further into their destiny.
Stay blessed peeps
Lots Of Love