The Poison of Comparison

Comparison

 is a

Joy killer

Peace thief

and

Happiness Assassin

Be careful not to get yourself caught up in comparing yourself to others. I know that this is easier said than done because most of us spend our time scrolling through social media. We are bombarded with the lives of others on a daily basis and it has become the new normal. The snapshots we see of other peoples lives can sometimes make us feel some type of way about our own. Everyone has compared themselves to others at some point in their life.

Most of us know that comparing yourself to others is not healthy, but from time to time we do indulge in it. It might start off small at first and you probably won’t notice that you are doing it and then suddenly it becomes a bad habit that you simply just can’t kick. It can lead to you developing negative feelings towards yourself and this can be very harmful.

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Comparing yourself to others is a deadly practice that will most likely leave you unmotivated, envious and upset. Abort mission immediately because all these kinds of feelings are just not worth the hassle.  Everyone in life is running their own race, at their own pace and on their own time. Try your best not to get caught up in watching others because it will prevent you navigating in your own lane. You can’t possibly live your best life if your eyes are peeled elsewhere.

When you come to understand the importance of time and the seasons of life, you will never compare yourself to another person again. Everyone’s walk on the earth is different. No two roads travelled will ever be the same and the quicker you realise this the better. It is ok to be inspired by others, just do not go as far as comparing yourself to them. The blogging world is amazing, with so many great bloggers out there doing great things that I would love to do. If I started comparing myself to them then you probably would not be reading this blog. I have come to know and accept that my life as well as my journey, is unique to me.

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The poison of comparison will ultimately affect your happiness, the way you see yourself and how you live your life. It does you no favours whatsoever, so please I kindly ask of you to stop indulging in this kind of behaviour immediately. It is totally not worth it Boo. Do not compare yourself to people on the internet and don’t you dare compare yourself to anyone you know in real life.

If you are looking at others peoples life and wondering why you do not have what they have or why you are not where they are, you are heading in dangerous territory. Comparison will only damage the way you see yourself, your life and your blessings.

I know that this is not an easy thing to do, so if you find yourself sipping the poison of comparison again try to remember the following gems:

  1. Stay in your lane.
  2. If you are not happy, take those necessary steps to make changes.
  3. Do not beat yourself up because everyone is running their own race.
  4. The internet is a snapshot of highlights and that is all it will ever be
  5. Today for you, tomorrow for someone else
  6. Your time will come
  7. Do you
  8. Love you
  9. Focus on you

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Stay blessed

Lots of Love

Jenna

xoxo

Intuition; A blessing in disguise!

If you follow me on the socials, you should have noticed that I have started promoting my #PostBreakUp travel series. 2017 was a great year of travel for me, who knew that heartbreak could take me so far, lol. It didn’t feel right for me to take you through my trips to Berlin, Santorini & Costa Rica, without giving you some insight into how I ended up there in the first place. I have to take you back a bit, so grab some snacks and get comfy.

Being the only girl child at home, I spent a lot of time around my mum (Hey Aunty Lorna). I don’t think it was intentional, but that’s just how it was. I was like her handbag, wherever she was, you would always find me close by. With that being said, I saw a lot and I heard much more.

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Instead of watching cartoons, I would be in the company of my Mother and other knowledgeable women. I spent countless hours sitting on their laps, hanging on to their every word as they exchanged life stories.  Some of the things that my Mother & these women experienced within their romantic relationships should be shared via book deals and movies. Every one of their scars came with a different story and I learned something new, each time I listened. It was through those same conversations, where I first heard about something called ‘Intuition’.

Intuition : The ability to know something without analytic reasoning based soley on a gut feeling.

 Each woman who shared their story talked about ‘intuition’ with the utmost respect. It led some to the front doors of their husband’s mistress. Whilst others uncovered children from outside the relationship. Apparently, intuition had the ability to keep them up late at night, eating away at their conscious until they responded to the call. Many described intuition as a gut feeling, that pushed them to do some crazy things without telling them why.  No two stories that I ever heard about intuition were ever the same. Whether these women responded to their intuition or not, there was always a consequence to whichever path they decided to take.

A majority of the things that I heard my mum and her girlfriends discuss didn’t make much sense to me when I was younger. I just enjoyed being amongst the women and listening, because it filled the void of not having that much girly company around.  Although those conversations didn’t make much sense to me at the time. It would soon prove to be of great value once I blossomed and came into my own.  I didn’t realise just how much I absorbed just from listening to big women have real, raw, and honest conversations about the power of their intuition until it was time for mine to be put to the test.

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A year before my seven-year relationship came to an end, I randomly came across the girl my ex-cheated on me with via facebook. I can remember the day so clearly because I was just browsing and there she was. It was so random but when I look back now, I can tell you that was supposed to happen. Up until that point, I didn’t even know that she existed but after scrolling through her facebook pictures I made the connections and that was that, or so I thought.

This same individuals file came across my desk again, but this time around I was to give her my full attention. Up until this day, I find it difficult to describe the way my spirit was so suddenly drawn to her. I believe it was more spiritual than anything because this girl was a stranger but the sight of her made my spirit unsettled. Whenever I looked at her pictures my gut feelings were always trying to communicate something to me, but sadly I couldn’t interpret what I was being told. So as a result, I suffered.

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I heard my mum say once that if you ignore your intuition ‘it ah go mad yuh’( basically send you crazy) and she didn’t lie. I wasn’t even in sync with my intuition like that, so how was I supposed to understand what was being told? How was I suppose to crack those secret codes? I was so scared about what I might find out on the other side, to the point where I tried to bury it in the back of my mind. The more I tried to ignore those signals from my intuition, the louder they got. I couldn’t put them on mute even if I tried.

I know you are probably thinking, why didn’t I just confront my ex and ask him once and for all. I did eventually but even that wasn’t easy.  I was a professional at ignoring negatives feelings that I found difficult to communicate. I mastered those skills during my childhood and sadly it trailed right into my adult life. As silly as this sounds, I didn’t know how to scream if something was wrong. Even within that relationship, I suppressed a lot so when it all came crashing down I am not surprised that I went down with it.

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I went to four people before I approached my ex about him cheating on me. My little brother was the first and my mum was the last. I wrestled with this from February and it was now half way through May. I know you are probably cursing me out right now, but there were so many other factors that played a part in me not speaking up earlier. The person he cheated on me with was a family member, so it’s not like I could be out in the streets throwing around those type of sleazy accusations.

What was I going to do?, invite him over for dinner and say ‘hey babe my intuition told me you were cheating on me with your cousin, can you just clear that up real quick?’ Do you know how crazy I would have looked if that turned out to be untrue? This was why I was so conflicted. This was why I wouldn’t risk taking my intuition seriously. My intuition was trying to lead me down some sick twisted roads and I’m not really good with directions.

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I eventually asked him about her and it is so funny because when I look back now it was obvious my intuition had been leading me to the truth all along. As I type this, I can still see the expression that he had on his face at that moment. As a woman, you want assurance from your man that everything is safe and secure. I wanted him to shut down my doubts and he did, then he flipped the script on me and made me feel guilty for questioning our unit. It was the first time in my life when the opposite sex made me feel small.

I felt very dumb. Especially when he went on to ask me if I was insecure and did I really trust him? It didn’t stop there, he started reminding me of how strong our foundation “was” as a couple. My ex-started preaching. Talking about how we had been through too much together and we have come from so far, for him to ever disrespect me in such a way. I can’t lie, he put forward a good case and it was exactly what I wanted to hear. It was what any woman would have wanted to hear. We hugged each other in silence for about 15minutes after and that was that, or so I thought.

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Steve Jobs said it best, that our intuition is more powerful than our intellect, and I have no grounds to disagree. Even when I didn’t know, even when I didn’t understand things my intuition did. I never took the time to get to know my intuition prior to this experience. Its a bit like buying a top gadget, but you don’t use it for long enough to uncover all of its features. I didn’t know myself as well as I thought I did. I didn’t know how to tap into my intuition and I was far from knowledgeable on how to cultivate a connection. I never really listened to the sound of my inner thoughts properly. I never really took care of myself, because I was always dismissing my feelings.  I was very confused and I couldn’t trust my own intuition because I didn’t really know what my intuition was all about. I missed the signs on numerous occasions and I dismissed the signals because the truth was I wasn’t really listening. I would soon come to regret this when the truth finally came to light.

You see when it all came crashing down and the truth was finally revealed months down the line that my intuition was right all along, it broke me in an instance. All the dots were finally connected. I remember sitting in the car with him and  I couldn’t stop screaming, it’s like my inner voice was finally free. Everything just started to make sense now. I wasn’t going crazy. My intuition wasn’t leading me astray or trying to ruin my relationship or my life. My intuition tried for so long to open me up the truth, its a shame I didn’t realise it sooner.  My intuition was actually a blessing in disguise. Nearly two years on and I finally see it now.

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I have shared this with you before but mum has always told me that you have to burn to learn and she ain’t never lied. I stood by helplessly as my ex- torched me and the total existence of our relationship to the ground. 7 years up in flames, with no bridges to cross back over. As much as I burned, I learned some valuables life lessons during the fire. There’s nothing like real life experience and although it was bittersweet, my break up established the connection between me and my intuition. Reading about it in a book, wouldn’t have got the job done, it was ordained for me to experience it in real time.

I made a vow to myself on the day I found out about the cheating, that I would never ever dismiss my intuition ever again. When it speaks to me now, I listen. When it sends me a signal, I don’t ignore it. When my intuition communicates to me about things and individuals, I don’t second guess it. I move when my intuition tells me to move. What has since occurred in my life post break up is an example of my intuition and me being as one. The moves that I make, the people that I connect to and the travelling that I do, is a result of me simply listening to my intuition.

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Never in a million years did I think that something like that would have happened to me, but it did and I survived to tell the tale. One thing I know for sure now is that Intuition is a life skill that is required for survival. I encourage you to take the time out and let your intuition guide you. Listen closely. Pay attention to the signs and work on establishing that connection. Don’t ignore it and don’t ever dismiss yourself.  If something or someone feels wrong and you can’t put your finger on it, chances are it probably is.

With that being said, I look forward to taking you through my Post break up Travel series. To read what happened next, click here and once you have digested that, the first stop will be in Berlin.

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You really don’t want to miss this one. To stay in the loop with all my new blog posts, you can subscribe by following me on WordPress. If you are on the socials platforms you can find me on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook @JennasWorldView.

Stay Blessed

Lots of Love

Jenna

xoxo

Can you Slay and Love the Lord?

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I have been blogging for just over 3months now and I believe that with each blog post, you have been able to get to know me a little better. I love that and now I have decided to dive in a little deeper and open up another layer of my life to you. I kindly ask that you don’t judge me. Whatever your thoughts are about religion, hold fire and read this blog post with an open mind.

Now, this may come as a shock to some of you, but I am a water baptised, born-again Christian. I still try to “pops flavour and drips sauce” but this is a challenge in itself because I am often torn between the expected social norms of Christianity and the battle of being a 26 year old female living in 2018. Now if you read 26 & never been on a Bae-cation, you would know that from a young age I planned out my whole life. I can definitely tell you now that being born again in my 20s was never a part of my plan, but God was clearly waiting on me at the door.

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For a very long time, I put off the idea of getting right with the Lord. I used to think that my life would be over if I finally decided to chase after God. No more slay, no more enjoyment, life as I knew it would completely stop. Vybz Kartel would have to be traded in for Kirk Franklin and I would now spend the rest of days in Bible study. I just couldn’t bring myself to do this “God-thing properly”. I enjoyed our part-time relationship because it was convenient for me and it worked around my shenanigans, lol. Not to mention, I had become so accustomed to living by my own rules and I wasn’t really interested in giving that up.

I used to think why should I switch things up now? The Lord and I had a good thing going. As far back as I could remember, I would tell God what I wanted and he ALWAYS delivered. Whether that be my job at the bank, my first class degree in Psychology, financial blessings or any other opportunities. I did what I wanted with my life and then TOLD God he needs to co-sign my madness. As crazy as this sounds, this is exactly how I was living. So why in the world, would I give all of that up whilst living in a society where everyone does as they please?

As of February 2018, in Great Britain alone only 50.7% of the population identify as Christians and the percentage of those who actually practise the religion is much lower than that. It is safe to say that for some people Christianity/ religion isn’t seen as a driving force in their lives nowadays. So I knew that taking such a big step in my 20s was going to come at a cost. Choosing to love the Lord on a full-time basis, was going to require some real-life transformations from the inside out.

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I probably came up with a 100 reasons why I shouldn’t get baptised. Fear made me panic and I was making up all kinds of things in my head. What type of clothes could I wear, what kind of places would I be able to go to, do I have to change my friendship circle, will I have to marry a Pastors son? I seemed to believe that if I took such a huge step my life would somehow be restricted. My social life, image, purity,  purpose, relationships, career, my desires, my needs and my future was going to be impacted by choosing to be a born-again Christian. I knew it was going to be life-changing, but I felt the fear and did it anyway and I am so glad I did.

trust.jpgLife on the other side of being born again has been challenging. Learning how to live in the world but not be of it has truly stretched me beyond measure. The struggle to find the right balance between living my life and honouring my relationship with God is REAL. There have been days where I have thrown in the towel, called it a day on this Christianity thing and temporarily tapped out. Obviously, none of that has ever lasted because I always seem to find my way back to God one way or another.

I mess up from time to time, make mistakes, I say and do things that aren’t necessarily a great representation of my religion. It is not an easy road. The tug of war between the old me Vs the new me is very intense. The Old Jenna wants to wear, do and say whatever she wants, whilst the new Jenna has to try and keep with up the values of being a Christian in a modern world. Sex before marriage, modesty on social media, drinking alcohol, listening to secular music……its A LOT to juggle, but it can be done.

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So to answer the blog title is YES. It is 100% possible to love God with all your heart, be strong in your faith and serve your best slay. Personally, the only way I have been able to do this is by having BALANCE. Balance is key! Balance is everything! When I found Christ, I was yielded to come as I am. God isn’t interested in how well I can scream hallelujah, wear the longest skirts to church or put on a good Christian performance. To me, God really doesn’t care about any of that, he is more interested in living in my heart, the renewing of my mind & for me to experience the love he has for me. I could be wrong, but this is just the way I see things.

All that other extra stuff, God is not interested in. I still go out, I still get dressed up, I still have fun. Me having a relationship with God hasn’t stopped me from doing anything. I am now more mindful of how I display the values of my faith through my words and actions. As well the type of things that I feed to my soul. I know some Christians that don’t listen to secular music or eat shrimps and if that works for them, that’s great. It just won’t work for me. Being a Christian It is not an easy road to walk, sometimes I want to choke people out, get angry and talk all kinds of wreck lol. I still have my moments, I am not perfect by any means. I mess up and I probably will mess up again in the future, but this doesn’t stop me from loving God or him loving me.

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Although my appetite for certain things has changed, I haven’t stopped squeezing the juice out of life. I am more fierce than ever and I am confident in my sauce alongside all the other things that I bring to the table. Being born again hasn’t resulted in me being chained to the foot of my bed mesmerising holy scriptures. No no no, I have truly come into my own, running after everything God says that I can have. Meeting new people, having new experiences, coming out of my shell and sharing my gifts and talents with the world.

Yes, I have had to make some significant changes to my mindset and lifestyle, but these changes have been for the better. My life is actually more vibrant than it has ever been. Being born again has opened new doors for me and I truly feel like my life is soaring and it is not going to stop. How silly of me to think that stepping deeper into my faith would have hindered me from living an abundant life. This is why you should never let your fears lead you. I feel far from restricted or tied down because of my relationship with God. I  am now more confident than ever to go out into the world and do what I was created to do.

Personally for me, if I didn’t have my relationship with God, my slay would be non-existent and that’s a fact. My identity, my abilities, my confidence, who I am and who I will become is deeply rooted in my relationship with God. This is the secret formula behind my slay and without God, I would be dust. If I never had a relationship with God, #JennasWorldview wouldn’t even exist. My blog posts are heavily inspired by my faith and my life experiences. I strongly believe that God has blessed with this platform so that I can share my story and connect with people just like you. My relationship with God is my foundation and being born again has a really helped encourage me to live a full life.

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As I said it is possible to Slay and Love the Lord, but that doesn’t eliminate you from being scrutinised for doing both. It actually comes with the territory. I got a message from a lady on Instagram saying how could I be a Christian and have pictures up of myself on the beach? lol. Wooo Chile! I wanted to tell her about her mother in 12 different languages, but that was not in line with my good Christian values. So I had to handle that one with grace instead. Its safe to say she will think twice before she jumps in anyone else’s DMs. Now if I wasn’t secure in who I am something like that probably could have destroyed me or made me reluctant to grow in my faith.

I don’t mean to play devil’s advocate here but the people who display these facades of being oh so holy Christians are usually the ones that God can not recognise. The Bible teaches us about people who scream the Lord names in public but they are not for him. I am not about putting on a show by trying to act like a good Christian. I could pray for hours and speak in holy tongues until I am blue in the face, but if my heart isn’t right, God won’t be listening. What is in my heart and the strength of my relationship with God is the most important thing above everything.

I will be honest and say that I was fearful about how people were going to act towards me. To the point where I wanted to keep being born again on a low. I thought that people were going to ridicule me in judgement. So when cousin accidentally uploaded my baptism on snapchat, I had instant heart failure. Big up to the 12 people who saw me get baptised, I love you all lol. I deleted those snaps because I wasn’t ready to share that with everyone at the time. I felt like people were going to question the authenticity of my faith if they knew I was a born-again Christian. I actually believed that people would be scrolling through my social media looking at my pictures and saying I am a disgrace to Christianity lol. It is no secret that when religion is mentioned it has the power to change the atmosphere in a room.

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I have heard a few ‘wow you don’t look a Christain, or ‘I wouldn’t think that you would be a Christian’ before. I always hit those people with the same question ‘what exactly does a Christian look like’ no one has ever been able to answer. I guess it is subjective rather than objective right?. Once upon a time, I was caught up on how people would perceive me but I have managed to push past it and focus more on pleasing God rather than feeding peoples perception of me. Since I started taking this approach my walk with God has become 10x better. The journey has been filled with many highs and lows, but I wouldn’t want it any other way.

To conclude, life after being born again does not suddenly turn into a snooze fest, Issa lie boo. Don’t ever get it twisted, if anyone tells you that you cant be a Christian and live a full life is a liar with tax. You can Slay & Love God just as much. Being a Christian requires transformation from the inside out, but that doesn’t stop you from living life abundantly. People are going to talk and judge you regardless because that is the way the world works. Do not let that stop your slay or hinder you from loving the Lord.

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I hope this blog post has been insightful to you in some way, shape or form. I was hesitant to open up about my faith, as I had reservations about how it would be received. I no longer feel this way as I believe this blog post will resonate with the right people.

I would love to hear from you about your thoughts on this piece, hit me up in the comments below or find me on  Twitter, Facebook & Instagram @JennasWorldView.

P.S. If you enjoy any of my blog posts, please share them via your social media. My aim is to connect with as many people as possible.

Ohhh yeah: Those amazing quotes pictures that you saw throughout this post, I found them on Google, they don’t belong to me boo.

Thank you so much for taking the time out to read this blog post, I look forward to sharing more with you soon.

Stay blessed

Lots of love

Jenna

xoxo

Whatever happens, make sure you look after yourself!

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If you are reading this today, we have now come to the end of Mental Health Awareness week in the UK (14th – 20th May 2018). The focus of this years campaign is centred around Stress. According to research, two-thirds of us experience a mental health problem during the course of our lives and stress has a major part to play.

Secretly that doesn’t even surprise me because anyone can experience a mental health problem and anything can trigger off stress. Financial issues, breakups, family problems, and the list goes on, there is no straightforward formula to how this thing actually works. What I do what to highlight within this blog post is that #MentalHealthAwarness goes beyond just one week within the year. 7 days of out 365 isn’t that much, so we have to be intentional about it. It must be an ongoing thing, something that we strategically sow into our lives on a daily basis.

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Life is a rollercoaster with many ups and downs. Things happen to us. Things happen through us and most of the time, we just get on with it. Most of us never get a chance to recover or recoup, because boom before you know it, something else occurs. Some of us face battles every day and we never really get a chance to heal because life is moving so fast and we have to keep it moving. Let’s be honest, no one wants to be left behind, so we keep running the race wounded, hoping to finish in first place.

I wish life was fair but sadly it is not. In the midst of all the things we face, we have to look after ourselves mentally. No matter what happens we have to keep our minds strong. This week alone, I have seen so many posts on social media saying ‘check on your friends’, yeah that is great but what about you? What about your mental health and what you are going through? What about how you are feeling or how well you are coping with things?

It is lovely to be there for others, but don’t ever forget to be there for yourself. Don’t ever neglect your thoughts or feelings, ever. I believe in giving to others from our overflow, so we are not out here in these streets running on empty.  I will always stand by this, because if you don’t look after yourself, who else will?

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The scariest thing is, many people are not really taught how to look after themselves mentally. Some mirror what they see at home, they either follow or rebel. I don’t know what category you may fall under or if those categories even apply to you.

I guess what I am trying to emphasise is that YOUR mental health is your OWN priority. We can’t rely on others, we have to take hold of it and protect it by any means necessary. When we are stressed or depressed we are unable to function and this stops us from living our best lives. Trust me, I know because I have been depressed and I have been stressed.

So, I decided to put together 10 self-care tips that you can try to incorporate into your daily life to help you manage stress or stressful situations.

 

SELF-CARE – SUNDAY SESSIONS

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  1. Take a moment to sit in silence and breathe. Before you react to any stressor, take a few moments to compose yourself, you won’t regret it.
  2. Turn off all social media
  3. Write a list of positive affirmations, you can create this yourself or you can find some amazing ones online.
  4. Stop Over-thinking and replaying dead situations in your head
  5. Allow yourself to feel without judgement
  6. Whatever you cant change, let it go
  7. Create Joyful morning and evening routines
  8. Forgive yourself & forgive others
  9. Don’t EVER compare who you are or where you are in life with other people, save yourself the hassle
  10. Most importantly, Love yourself and protect your peace by any means necessary.

 

Remember: Life will throw all kinds of obstacles your way, but you have to understand that whatever you go through is temporary and you are only just passing through. Our mental health is just as important as our bills being paid. We must protect it and stay on top of it no matter what. ANYTHING that tries to threaten or interrupt our mental health, we have to SHUT IT DOWN or LET IT GO.

Stay Blessed guys

Continue reading, liking and sharing my posts, I really appreciate it.

Don’t forget you can catch me on all the socials @JennasWorldView

 

Lots of love

Jenna

xoxo

 

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26 & never been on a Bae-cation…

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For those of you that don’t know, a Bae-cation is a vacation that you take with BAE. The Bae in question must be your significant other. Borrowing a BAE from someone else would be quite problematic. Personally, I would avoid that and I urge you to do the same, but hey that is a new blog – post for another day lol

I thought long and hard about this and yes I’d love for the chance to escape to an Exotic Island or be whisked away on a City break with Bae. I never travelled with my ex so this is a new territory that I am keen to explore. As I am now part of the Travel blogging community, I see so many travel pics of couples daily and it really got me thinking about me and my own experiences.

So I decided to reach out to my Instagram family to find out who has been on a Baecation and where did they goIt is safe to say, that I am not the only person left on the earth who has not been on one, whew. There are both Men and Women out there, young and old who are yet to jet out with their partner. I guess this means that I am not an alien and I can stop stressing myself out right?. Mmmm I’m not yet convinced, this lack of Baecation stuff is going on my prayer list, so watch this space, lol.

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 In my head, a Bae-cation goes something like this . . .

Together both of us will be killing it our holiday outfits, from the colours right down to the footwear. We just naturally complement each other as we travel through a new country, exploring and making new memories. Our beach days will consist of long walks, hand in hand in the sand, whilst the waves of the sea flow as our background music. We will stay up late into the evenings, talking about whatever comes to mind right through to the early hours of the morning. Each day away will give us both the chance to recharge, reconnect and plan ahead.

These scenes from a romantic film that I am describing are probably far from the true reality of Bae-cations. I know it sounds so scripted and glamorous, but hey a girl can dream lol. I am an outsider here so I wouldn’t know where to start.  If I am way off hit your girl up and drop some knowledge on me in the comments, lol.

In my mind, a Baecation seems necessary for all couples. Time away from our natural habitats does everyone good, I expect that a Baecation would probably do the same plus more. Chances are it gives some couples the opportunity to pour into each other with minimal distractions or outside influences. From what I have seen and heard, a Baecation is like a Kinder surprise, you just never know what you might get. It is possible to go on a Baecation and not come back the same way.

How many couples have you heard of that went away and come back engaged, eloped, pregnant or even separated?  You just never know what a Baecation could bring, but I am here for it, and can’t wait for my turn. Travelling is a big part of me. Travelling has shaped my character as a woman.Travelling has broadened my horizons. Travelling holds a big place in my heart and life. I can’t even begin to imagine, what it would feel like to share this with Bae. I know this sounds mushy, but hey I said, what I said lol.

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Even before I announced this blog post, I have had lots of questions floating around in my head about Baecations.

When is the right time in a relationship to go on holiday?

Is there a Bae-cation vetting process?

Would I take wigs on a Bae-cation or nah?

Where would we go ?

What started out as a fun light-hearted blog – post quickly took a negative turn, that left me feeling out of place.

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My mind was doing overtime putting this blog post together. To the point where I almost abandoned it. I felt like I was mentally self –harming trying to understand something that I was yet to experience. As I pondered on the fact that I am 26 and I have never been on a Bae-cation, it was getting me very pressed. The thought of it got me extremely agitated, my mood kept dipping and my nostrils flares were on 100. I had to seriously question myself and ask “Jenna what is all the fuss about with this Baecation stuff”? Then it hit me like a ton of bricks and I ended up going down that road of self-reflection.

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I will be 27 in December and my life is really just getting started. There are a lot of things ahead of me, I have lots to see and even more to explore and experience. Even though, I know this to be true, I sometimes have moments of ‘when is it going to happen?”  and I am sure that I am not alone. From about 15 years old, I have planned out my entire life. According to my plans, I should be a qualified Clinical Psychologist, married, pregnant with the twins, renovating my 5th property, and coordinating business deals back and forth from New York.  I am so far away from this plan, it actually chokes me to know that I haven’t achieved anything I just shared on that list.

 I am not where I THOUGHT I would be by this age. Acknowledging that I am now 26 and haven’t been on a Baecation, reminds me that the plans that I made for my life at 15 have not come to fruition. I do feel some type of way, but I have just been getting on with my life and buried these feelings. We all have things that we bury deep down inside of us. In hopes that we never have to deal with them ever again or that if we ignore it the feelings will go away. The truth is, as I get on with life, my faith and my fears are at WAR but only one of them can win. My faith tells me there is still enough time for all of those beautiful things to take place in my life. Whilst my fears tell me, that my career, travel plans, love life and future will never happen. It is a constant battle, but I am determined that my fears will not win.

On this life journey so far I have broken down and hit many roadblocks as well as diversions. I set out on one route, took a few wrong turns, couple detours and there. I have been lost, was given many directions, ended up ditches, rerouted and then found myself back on the roads, with the breeze blowing through my hair. I made plans for my life and believed I would go down a particular route in order to achieve them but that has been far from the case and that’s fine.

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Sometimes in life, the route in which we take to achieving our plans will be the very thing that destroys us. We have our hearts and minds set on things that have nothing to do with where Gods wants to take us. I am not saying that we must not set goals or plan.  I am saying that if you plan something and it doesn’t work out how you thought it would, don’t be disheartened. Just know that God has SOMETHING better in store for you. When you get caught up in what did not work or what you don’t have, you lose sight of where you are. Even if something has not happened in your life just yet, doesn’t mean that it will never happen.

I am guilty of living my life through an unrealistic checklist created by me, influenced heavily by family expectations, peer pressure, society standards & Culture. I can confidently say that I know I am not the only one.There is no real manual on how to do this life thing because it is very much all trial and error. In a weird way I felt very disappointed that I had not achieved some of those things on my list, because If I did, Bae-cations would have happened already. Those plans that I wrote for my life at 15 have secretly been holding me hostage. My unrealistic timelines have made me feel some type of way about things that I cant control in life.

The truth is this, it doesn’t matter how much we stress or wonder when things will happen in our lives. At the right time, in the right season, with the right people, everything that is yours shall be given unto you. Stressing is a waste time because it won’t get you to your goals any quicker. Do not to focus on what has not shown up just yet in your life, have faith that GODS plans will lead you to everything that you need.

So yes, I am 26 and I have NOT yet been on a Bae-cation, but it will happen, just like all the other things that are destined for my life. What I have and what I do not have, no longer has power over me and that now gives me hella strength.

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Stay Blessed peeps

Please continue to comment, like, share, especially on the socials

You can find and follow me on Twitter, Instagram & Facebook @JennasWorldView

Jenna’s Words of Wisdom

Remember it is always good, to be honest with yourself about your inner thoughts and feelings. Self-reflection is key!

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Lots of Love

Jenna

xoxo

The cost of living a lie. . .

 

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Living a lie: To live in a way that is dishonest because you are pretending to be something that you are not, to yourself or to other people

Everyone at some point in their life has lived a lie or is currently living one right now.

There.

I Said it.

Sometimes it is not intentional. It can happen so easily that you didn’t even realise you were doing it. Days, months and years can rapidly go by whilst those lies have embedded themselves so perfectly into your life. You have become so accustomed to it, that you can no longer differentiate the real from the fake. After spending a significant amount of time deceiving others, you have become so unrecognizable even to yourself.

When I thought about it deeply, most of us were encouraged to engage in pretend play as children. It was where some of us mastered the ‘Art of pretending’. Putting on a different face and persona depending on who or what we wanted to be. I couldn’t help but wonder if our natural ability to pretend and fake it as children has secretly crept into our adulthood? Is this the reason why some people are out here on social media lying hard through them filters to maintain a false image of who they really are? If it’s not this, could our families or upbringing be to blame?

In some households, children were taught from an early age not to discuss their family business. Forced to cover things up and keep family secrets to ensure a clean image of the family was maintained. Even if things were going wrong. Could this be the missing link or am I reaching? Lol. I may not be clear on what causes people to pretend and live a lie. I just know that the consequences of doing so will cause more harm than good.

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To be honest, it actually baffles me that people can go online and create a magnified persona and lifestyle that is so far away from who they really are. I know this is something that has been happening for years but it has now reached new heights within today’s society. Celebrities, reality TV personas and social Influencers have done changed the game. It is so easy to deceive and be deceived. In the world of social media, lace frontal’s serve scalp realness, flat tummy tea and waist trainers can give you a flat stomach without a proper diet and those are just some of the most bait common examples.

Look what happened to #VisaBae last week, she was out here doing luxury life on the gram. Yet she was facing deportation, having to desperately beg her followers to finance her visa. Who am I to say #IssaScam? It is not my story to tell, but what I will say is #VisaBae is a prime example of the people who portray to live a luxury lifestyle online that does not reflect their actual reality. The funny thing is, #VisaBae is no different to the millions of people across the world who lie about their lives, she just exposed herself.

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Fake is the new normal and its here to stay

These days everyone is striving to look like they have become while missing out on the process of becoming? Hiding behind filtered pictures, accompanied by powerful captions that are so far away from their truth. Many people scream ‘its just social media’ don’t take it seriously when in fact it is a big deal. Social media has shaped the way we view ourselves and others, whether we like it or not. It is so easy to get “lost in the sauce”. Seeing other people travel, start a business, embark on new ventures, get married or start a family can have a person feeling as if their life is not flourishing.

Sadly, today’s culture is very much driven by what can be seen. So there is no surprise why many individuals feel as if they need to appear as though every area of their life is intact. People are out here flexing. Doing shows. Losing their dignity and damaging their peace of mind just to portray themselves as something they are not. The pressure is real out here in these streets and so is the self-scrutiny. Many individuals start to feel like they not good enough or that their lives lack something because they are not doing gymnastics to pose in a pair of red bottoms on the gram.

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As a newbie blogger, I had to check out the blogging community to see what was out there. There are many bloggers who are doing some amazing things that I am not doing and that is ok. My time will come. Instead of being jealous of what I saw others doing online, I was inspired more than ever to get started. Social media is so powerful it can make people jealous, bitter and envious of what other people have or appear to have. It is shameful, but its happening. Aunty Lorna (my mum) has always told me that I must never ever envy other people. Especially for material things, as I do not know what they had to go through to get them. I will always live by this gem and you should too.

As you read this, just know there are major personalities in the media, who appear to be bold, confident and have it all. Behind the scenes, they are lonely, sad, depressed, addicted, or on the brink of suicide. Yet just by what they post, there are people out there who would trade places with them in a heartbeat. People crave for things they have no real idea about and it needs to stop.

The girl who posts three times a day about her “fantastic relationship”, shows off all her luxury gifts from her man is actually in debt. Baby girl is robbing one credit card to pay the other, all because she is maintaining the man. The poor thing pays for everything behind the scenes yet you can’t stand her because it looks like she “has it all”. Other girls are out here getting pissed on by a rich dude for a handbag & flight to the Maldives just to flash about on the socials. Believe it or not, guys are out here doing just as much crazy things as women to maintain a false image. Certain dudes are out engaging in so much illegal activity just to sport designer clothes. All while they sleep on the cold floor of their mum’s council property that is drowning in rent arrears.

MAD

MAD

MAD

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Most people shy away from their truth by using things like drugs, relationships, raving, alcohol etc as a disguise for their problems or pain. When my 7-year relationship ended in 2016. I was hurt and I had every right to be. To deal with the aftermath of my break up I spent money. Not no eeeeediat, I spent lots of money, I booked holidays, concerts, festivals, I purchased things impulsively as a way to pacify my pain and hide how I was truly feeling.

I did some crazy things LOL but I don’t actually regret them. I am happy that it was money that I used as an outlet to soothe my heartbreak. It was a beautiful nightmare that allowed me to learn a great deal about myself, even though the process was bludclart painful. By lying to myself about how I was feeling and living only delayed my healing and new blessings. I did overtime trying to convince MYSELF that I was all good. When I finally gave in, I went down a bitter-sweet road of self-discovery. I had no choice but to turn my pain into power and it has opened more doors for me than living in that lie ever did.

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One thing life has taught me so far is that you can lie to other people, but you cant lie to yourself or the creator. No matter how hard you try, your demons will catch up to you. So it’s better, to be honest, and true to yourself. You may feel like you are so far gone into the lies that you are unable to get out of it. Issa lie boo. I have said this before and I will say it again unless you are dead in the grave, there is still time for a change, real change. It is ok. You can stop pretending. Take those necessary steps because living a lie on social media is one thing, but living a lie in real life is another.

The cost of living in a lie will ultimately destroy you. It’s no secret that other people will get hurt in the process but the real damage is the harm that YOU inflict on yourself. Pretending to be ok when you are not ok is not ok. Saving face to maintain a false image of yourself and your lifestyle is not ok. Spending money you don’t have to keep up with the Jones will only lead you to financial problems. Doing things to please other people when you know deep down it’s not right with your soul is not ok. So I write this piece to challenge you to Breathe and Live in your authentic truth.

Everyone was created with God-given purpose and it is our duty in this life to discover what that is and use it for the greater good. When you live in a lie you only rob yourself of the life, opportunities and relationships that were ordained for you. In my last post ‘Issa New Month: APRIL’ I spoke about the importance of reflection and how we must practise it to evaluate our thoughts, actions and behaviours. Do yourself a favour and be honest with where you are. If you know that deep down you are not living truthfully, its time to remove the mask.

Don’t be afraid. There is no need for you to pretend to be anything other than what you were created to be. Living a lie will only take you further than you ever intended to go and who knows where you could end up. Embrace who you are and where you are at in your life, because you only get one. Jcole was right when he said: “no such thing as a life that’s better than yours. This is why you must Love Yours AND LIVE IN YOUR TRUTH.

 

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2018 for me is the year for real life change, growth, transformation and positive scandals. It is not limited to just me though, you can get in on some of this good stuff too, but you have to be intentional about what you want out of life. Think about it, but not for too long. Whoa, this was a heavy post so I HAVE to end it with a prayer.

Dear Heavenly Father, I pray for the individual reading this, I pray that you will stirrup in them the urge to throw off their mask and step into their beautiful God-given truth. May they find the courage to be who you created and called them to be. Let every situation that causes them to hurt, lie, cheat, steal and deceive may it be uprooted and destroyed. In order to make room for new things to be planted in their life that will lead them further into their destiny.

Amen.

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Stay blessed peeps

Twitter, Instagram & Facebook @JennasWorldView

 

Lots Of Love

Jenna

xoxo

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