Be about that Self-Care life in 2019

Reading time: 8-12 Minutes (Work commute, lunchtime, spontaneous or night time read)

 

Hey Boo

Welcome back to ’The SELF series’ I hope you have already started to put in place the things we spoke in my last post, 3 ways to practice SELF-LOVE in 2019.

I truly believe that once you get to grips with the Self-love thing you can start to get yourself well acquainted with Self-care. In my mind, the two go hand in hand, although it is possible to indulge in one much more than the other. Regardless of how you choose to get it in, Self-care should be a major component in our everyday lives.

S E L F – C A R E

the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being, health and happiness.

Self care tips

When it comes down to Self-care I will always encourage others to do what is best for them. What I might define as Self-care for me, might look completely foreign to you. What works for me, might not necessarily work for you and that is ok because different strokes for different folks. However, I do want to point out that self-care is much more than getting your nails done or buying yourself a new pair of trainers.

Self-care is an intentional act that serves the Mind, Body & Soul. So if you are new to the Self-care movement or have never paid much attention to it, let me walk in you through ways you can incorporate it into your life in 2019.

 

The Mind

The Mind is one of the most valuable assets that human beings have and we often underestimate the amount of power that it holds. A healthy, functioning and sound mind is something we should all strive to have and maintain in 2019.

Self care tips

Positive thoughts: Our mind is like soil in the ground and our thoughts and ideas are the seeds that we plant in it. This is why it is important to ensure you are looking after your mind and watering it with things that are fruitful, nourishing and help you grow as a person. Remember your thoughts become things, good or bad.

Affirmations: Once you declutter the negative noise in your mind, reprogramme and fill yourself up with good thoughts that you can start to declare and affirm out loud.

Self care tips

– Unplug: There is one day out of the week when I don’t use social media. Now, this may seem unbelievable because I know you see me on your feed promoting the blog or throwing my two cents in, but it is true lol. Unplugging from your socials will do your mind a world of good, it will slow you down and give you the chance to do so many other productive things like reading a book, prayer or meditation.

Counselling: Sometimes you need a fresher perspective and a listening ear from someone who is in your corner without any emotional attachments. Counselling gives you the opportunity to clear your mind in a healthy way, be in a space that is safe, non-judgemental and guarantees that your voice will be heard.

 

The Body

I know you probably have heard this a thousand times before but our body is our temple. It is our responsibility to look after it by doing what we need to do to keep everything in order. When it comes to practising Self-care on your own body, I am sure you already know what you need to be doing. But just in case you need a reminder, here are some Self- care ideas that will help you look after your body.

Self care tips

– A good night sleep: We put our bodies under a lot of strain and stress on a daily basis and to add insult to injury we don’t get enough sleep. Most of us are running on empty which is basically like driving around in a car with the petrol light on red. Do yourself and your body a favour and start getting in some proper sleep. On a Saturday if I don’t have any plans,  I let my body sleep in until whatever o clock.

Make changes: Portion control, meal prep, up your intake of one food group, reduce another. Commit to more physical activity, drink more water and mind your business, lol. Set yourself a few small goals and stick to them.

Most of us are guilty of neglecting our bodies but this year make an effort to get things in order. Book that doctors appointment, go to the dentist, visit the opticians, start taking your vitamins etc. To my Ladies, if you are over 25 book a Smear test.

 

The Soul

Self-care for the soul is something that is so easily overlooked, that it usually goes over most peoples head. It is impossible to function at full capacity without the nourishment of your soul. Below are two activities that will soothe your soul.

Self care tips

– Forgiveness: Most people struggle with forgiveness whether it be towards others or themselves. But carrying any kind unforgiveness in your spirit will leave your walking around with an unsettled soul. In my last post, I told you to let things go that no longer serve you, but whilst you’re at it don’t forget to forgive others and yourself in the process.

Prayer: Another universal language of the world is prayer and it also serves as food for our soul. There is nothing I love more in this world than prayer, it is one of my special gifts and my day is unable to flow properly without it. Prayer gives you the opportunity to pour yourself out to God. It allows you to connect to the source, recharge and reflect. If you don’t know what to pray for, start by giving thanks for your life. It will leave you feeling very refreshed and empowered.

Self care tips

I hope you have found this piece informative as well as helpful. Remember you can use this as a rough guide to help you create a Self-care routine that works for you. Pace yourself and just take it day by day.

Please do bear in mind that it only takes 21 days to form a habit. So commit yourself to the process, be intentional and prioritise. Self-care is a priority and necessity that is essential in order for you to have a better 2019.

For more tips on Self-Care, check out my board on Pinterest, don’t forget to Pin it.

Stay Blessed

Lots of Love

Jenna

Self care tips

Just so you know: The final post of this series will be out next week and it is all about ‘SELF PROMO’. If you are one of those people who struggle to put yourself forward for opportunities or showcase your skills and talents then that post will most definitely be for you.

3 Ways to Practice Self-Love in 2019

3 ways to practice self loveReading Time: 8 Minutes (Work commute or Lunch break read)

Hey Boo

Happy New Year

2019 is now in full swing and I am kicking off my 2019 content with The Self Series’.

January is the month where most people start babbling on about new this and new that. Come February most of that talk and action will be gone right out the window. So I decided to start the year off from a different angle. This three-part blog series will focus on areas oneself can actively work on for a fruitful 2019.

3 Simple Ways to Practice Self Love

S E L F – L O V E

regard for one’s own well-being and happiness.

One of my good girlfriends was going through some relationship issues and in conversation, she turned around and said to me ”Jenna, how do I love myself, I want to be able to love myself like you”. I was taken back because the self – love thing for me was truly a case of trial and error.

I did not just wake up one day and have it all together. At one point in my life, I truly believed that I loved myself. But there were certain situations that occurred in my past which made me see, that I did not love myself as much as I liked to portray. It was those same situations that made me realise I had to get my act together and let me just tell you the journey to SELF- LOVE has been far from easy.

3 Simple Ways to Practice Self Care

I had so many bad habits and unhealthy attachments in my life that were getting in my way. It was a struggle having to unlearn and detach myself from things I had become very much accustomed to. Things like settling, self-sabotage, being unkind to myself, holding on to toxic friendships and emotionally abusive partners. It was my faith and journey to getting baptised at age 25 that really helped me put the whole Self-Love thing into perspective.

I always knew that God Loved me but I didn’t necessarily know how to properly show Love towards myself. You might not follow a particular religion like me, but that does not mean that you are unable to learn, grow and make an effort to practice self-love. I challenge you to make 2019 the year you focus on loving yourself whole heartedly.

3 Simple Ways to Practice Self Love

1. Let it go

Us humans really know how to hold on to things that truly serve us no purpose. I get it, I truly do because I have been there before. I have wasted my valuable time holding on to situations, relationships and bad habits that were better off left behind me. First of all, acknowledge that you can NOT change your past. There are no amount of shoulda, woulda, couldas to change the outcome of what has already taken place.

Whatever happened, happened. Every time you replay those past things over again in your mind, you resurrect it from the dead and give it life. STOP giving those old situations permission to come into your current space and cause all kinds of havoc. Breathe Boo and just simply LET IT GO, whether it be a job, relationship, or missed opportunity, LET IT GO! It is impossible to fully practice Self-love if you are holding on to things that hinder you from moving forward.

3 Simple Ways to Practice Self Love

2. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries

I only discovered the importance of healthy boundaries when I started going to counselling in 2017. I had no idea what they were and I did not have them actively in place within any of my personal relationships. I quickly came to learn that what you allow from others, is what will continue. We teach people how to treat us and the best way to avoid having any blurred lines is to put some healthy boundaries in place.

Boundaries help to regulate what the extents and limits are between you and others. It is essential to have them in place because they help to protect you and your personal peace. On your journey to practising self-love in 2019, be clear on what your boundaries are, put them in place and don’t compromise.

3 Ways to Practice Self Love3. Spend time with yourself

It might come as a surprise to you the number of people in the world who find it difficult to spend time in their own company. Having time with yourself is a great way to learn more about who you are, your needs, wants and what you like etc. In this day and age, we spend countless hours scrolling through social media where so many things are fighting for our attention. It can be a struggle to find a few minutes for yourself.

For 2019, I urge you to fall in love with your own company. Spend an hour or two away from the socials, read a book, go for a walk, get your creative juices flowing. Even if it is just 10minutes, be alone with your thoughts.

On my birthday last month, after I went to brunch with my Sister circle I took MYSELF to the Savoy Theatre to see Dreamgirls. I received a few side eyes when I revealed to everyone that I was going alone. But I just had the urge to do it and I am so glad I did because I had such an amazing time.

My evening ended with a big smile on my face as I enjoyed a sweet stroll alongside the river, taking in the city lights. Just me, myself and my thoughts. It was refreshing. So please please please this year spend time alone to love on yourself without any distractions.

3 Ways to Practice Self Love

I hope you will find these 3 tips useful as you use them on your Self-Love journey this year. Be sure to look out for the second instalment of this three-part series it will be on SELF-CARE’. I aim to put it out later this week.

Lastly, I would like to thank you for the Love and Support you have shown to JWV last year.  I look forward to revealing all the good stuff that I have in store for my readers in 2019.

 

Stay Blessed

Lots Of Love

Jenna

xoxo

 

For more tips on Self-love, check out my board on Pinterest  https://pin.it/jhent6ohdpcju3

A Bae-less Christmas

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Soooooo
Christmas has come around again and you’re single.

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Don’t worry boo you are not alone because so am I.

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In fact, this will be my 3rd Christmas as a single woman and contrary to popular belief it is not as bad as you think. Sure, of course, it would be nice to have a BAE to snuggle up with watching some of my favourite Christmas films or to match my fly during the yearly family Christmas day photo shoot.

Most people dislike being without a partner during this time of year and I get it, I really do. It can be very daunting, depressing and lonely asf. My first Christmas as a single woman was horrible but that was because my break up was still fresh. As time went on I have come to really appreciate my season of singleness. I realised that I can’t come and kill myself over not having a Bae and to be honest neither should you.

I know this is easier said than done, especially during a time like Christmas where it seems like everyone and their dog is boo’d  up. On Christmas day last year I was frying plantains with Aunty Lorna whilst my age mates were getting showered with lavish gifts and being proposed to.

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I would be lying if I said that seeing those things never made me question myself or make me wonder when my own time would come. It is so easy to fall into that trap of comparing your season of life with others. Here is a little word of advice: DONT DO IT TO YOURSELF! Being single in general is not a bad thing and being single during the Christmas period is not the end of the world. It is such an amazing time of year, where you could be doing so much more like loving on yourself and those closest to you rather than moping around about being single.

I know you probably have heard that before and might not want to hear it again. But there are some positives to the single life, especially during this time of year. So to paint a better picture for you, I reached out to a few people and asked them to share their experiences, thoughts and feelings about being Single at Christmas, enjoy.

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Olliviette, Creative & Lifestyle blogger @Olliviette.com 

According to Google, I’ve only had a holiday bae 13.89% of my adult life.

I’ve been through it: being solo while the friends are coupled up, the “why you don’t get a man gurl” chat from my aunts, excusing myself from festivities to cry quietly.

At first, all that “big love energy” used to really get me down. Then I accepted reality: I am not flawed if I am single during the holidays.

Instead of focusing on bae-who-isn’t-there, I focus on myself. A recent Christmas involved me renting a gorgeous London flat and living it up in my undies all weekend. There’s nothing wrong with being upset about being single, but don’t waste your life worrying about “bae”. Live hunny.

Create the moments you deserve, love yourself up during the holidays and for them urges…invest in some good hardware. If you know what I mean…

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Jess, Foodie & Travel Blogger @Roadtoculturedom.com

“As young adults, Instagram makes us think enjoying the festivities with your other half in matching jumpers will make us the happiest. But not everyone (including me) will experience that this year…and that’s okay. You get to give your family your utmost attention and create more memories with them. You get to spend that bae present money on spoiling your favourite friends and family members.

One day, you’ll have to make the choice between spending Christmas Day with your family or bae’s…years after this, you and bae will be the oldest family members at Christmas. And you’ll be grateful for these extra years you had in your young adult life purely for your family! “

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Annabel, Travel Blogger @The Woman in Transit

Being “bae-less” during the festive period shouldn’t bother you in the slightest. For starters, that’s one less person to buy a present for so your pockets will be thankful! On a serious note though, being single is not shameful and as a culture, we need to change the discourse surrounding it. You’re not any less valuable or worthy because there’s no one taking you to Winter Wonderland (take yourself!).

Use this time in your life to get to know who you are. As cliche as it sounds, date yourself. Discover your likes and dislikes, deal with your unresolved issues, build healthy platonic relationships with the opposite sex, find hobbies and ultimately live life to the fullest. When you’re busy with purpose and wholly content, you won’t have time to worry about such trivial things.

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Nikia, Super mum of two, Chef & Business owner @Allaboutthefood

Whilst decorating the three we were watching a Christmas movie. the typical Christmas flick usually ends with the couple having a kiss. My Daughter turns to me and says “mummy will that be you this Christmas”. To which I responded with a laugh “with who the invisible man”!

As she continues to decorate the tree she turns and says to me “mummy you’ve had a shot at love before don’t ever doubt you can have another shot again” having a Bae at Christmas has never meant much to me until today. But as my daughter said I shouldn’t doubt that I can have another shot and when the time is right my time will come.

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Kelle, Content Writer & Blogger @Kellespace.com

One of the positives of being single during the Xmas period is that you have all the time in the world to spend quality time with your family and friends. Christmas is all about being merry after all, so use this period in your life to do the things that make you happy. Also, think of something you can do to spread your happiness onto others too!

Rayy Sang, Writer & Editor @IndustryMe 

Being single during the Christmas season forced me to choose myself and I mean really choose myself. It’s so easy to preach about self-love and self-care and all the other common millennial buzzwords. At a time where you are completely swamped by images of love the picture perfect family and literally everything you probably don’t have as a single; You learn to find your happiness in other things. As someone who is naturally giving being single has given me the space to put myself first for once and to truly get to grips with doing so. Once you love yourself first, everything else is secondary!

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Ryan C, A Londoner, Rapper & Youtube Creative 

I’m single during the Christmas period and I actually prefer it. Rarely have I ever had a relationship during the holidays but I feel it is less stressful. Having to meet your significant other’s family has always been an issue for me. I can understand why families would be protective over their girls and I don’t blame them. I’ve always felt paranoid around meeting a girl’s family as I can never envisage their reaction to me. I like having to worry about my own family and only what presents to get them. I don’t need the stress of a partner and it always works well for me.

DJ Short-T, Music Lover & Businessman @RumPunchSundays

This will be my second Christmas Without A Bae, and i must say it is a big change as I’ve previously been in a long-term relationship. One of the issues i had, was deciding who I would spend Christmas with, it became more challenging as the years went by, and at times i became anxious as i wouldn’t want to upset any of my immediate or distanced family members(even though some did throw shade at me). But now being single has allowed me to save money Lol (A LOT!!) and also allows me to focus more on spending time with my family and more importantly myself.

Soul Vs Universe, A King & member of the TC Family

Being Single isn’t always easy because we tend to feel lonely at times but if we change our perception of the situation we can see that we are not alone, we have ourselves to take care of. Our lives are just beginning in a crazy world so it’s important to love yourself first and be comfortable alone because when you leave this earth you can’t take anything with you except the memories and your own soul. Enjoy your own company. 

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Vanessa, The Bermudian abroad 

9:05 PM: “Well at least I’ll save money – that’s one less present to buy”

9:07 PM: *scrolls through pictures from our 6 previous Christmases* “Hehe, I remember this one, I made the Lamb wayyy too salty

9:10 PM: “How did we get here?”

I spent Christmas in London with my Mummy. She came from Bermuda bearing gifts – Gosling’s Rum, Barritts Ginger Beer and Cassava pie (google it). We bought the smallest tree, listened to the 8 Days of Christmas, watched ‘The Preacher’s Wife’ and discovered the M&S wine and cheese paring box(es). On Boxing Day, I flee to Washington DC. i met my best friends – we brunched, visited the Smithsonian, twerked in the hotel room and laughed at how small the White House is. I stared at the stars on the flight home.

I felt whole – with or without a Bae, I was surrounded by love.

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Sherese Nicole, Health, Wellness & Lifestyle blogger @Sheresenicole.com

Christmas time and the holiday season is yet again upon us and I’m yet again single – but I’m not complaining. In fact, I’m quite used to it and almost prefer to be single. I get to be completely selfish, do what I want when I want and learn more about myself. In all my time being single, I’ve found that I’ve grown more than ever and I almost feel bad for those in a relationship sometimes, because you don’t get to be as selfish when you’re with a partner.

So this holiday season, I plan to be around friends and family with a lot of good vibes and most importantly take time out to be with myself. I mean working on me – spiritually, emotionally and physically. Whenever I start to feel a way about being single at a season when it seems everyone and their mom is booed up, I find rejoice in trusting that my bae is right around the corner and he’ll come by at the right time.

What is TRULY for me will not pass me by!

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Musu B, A creator, Author & Speaker 

Make this Bae-less Christmas Work for You

Let’s face it – we’ve all been there. The endless searching and streaming on Netflix, hours on the couch, no bath and lots of food. It’s the only way you feel you’ll get by, constantly pushing out thoughts of the break-up that happened at the worst time ever. Being bae-less during the holiday season does a lot to a person. You’re questioning your worth and can’t stop scrolling through timelines filled with engagements, travel scenes and whatever else irks your soul.

The truth is, you can turn the tables in your favour during this period of darkness and despair. It’s also good to know that much of social media is a front, and what you’re seeing is staged anyway. So use this time to make it about you and you’ll find yourself bouncing back faster than a Cardi B Instagram crisis. Here are some quick tips to get you through:

  1. Start a journal and watch your life take a fresh turn
  2. Throw your own holiday party to celebrate YOU
  3. Take a trip – near or far – and get a change of scenery

I know there is a lot of pressure around but trust me when I say you got this!

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Food for thought: You may not know this but it has been reported that a whopping 4million people in the UK spend Christmas alone. A survey carried out by the BBC in 2014 found that those aged 65 and above will spend Christmas by themselves. In addition to this, research findings from the mental health charity MIND found that Millennials are twice as likely as the elderly to be spend Christmas alone. No family, no Friends and no Bae. This might be a tough one to get your head around but this is a reality for a lot of people. Can you imagine? that in this day and age loneliness at Christmas is real.

Being single is one thing, but being lonely without family or friends during a season that is all about love and togetherness like Christmas is another. I would not wish that on my worse enemy. I am pretty confident that the majority of my readers who are Bae-less this Christmas most likely won’t be spending it alone.

I don’t know about you but that is something to be extremely grateful for. Now, I might not have a Bae but what I do have is a family to celebrate with and love on. I will most definitely wake up to a ton of merry Christmas messages from my friends. I may not have kids of my own just yet but I do have Godchildren that I can spoil with Christmas presents. I sat back and thought about all of this and I realised there are so many people in the world who don’t have half of what I just described this Christmas.

So I say that to say this, focusing on what you do not have will rob you of what you do have. It might be upsetting not having a relationship but I have been alive long enough to know that nothing in life ever happens before its time. Take a moment to reflect on who you do have in your life right now and be grateful for those people.

At the right time, the right person will come into your life but until then, make the most of who you have in your life right now. Also if you know someone who will be spending Christmas alone this year, invite them over, send a card, drop them a text or give them a call.

One last thing, scrap the idea that having a Bae is everything, because it really is not. Being in a healthy and happy relationship is as a bonus on top of all our other blessings. Anything below that is trash and don’t ever forget it.

Stay Blessed

Lots of Love

Jenna

xoxo

  • Please note all gifs were sourced from GIPHY.com. I do not own the rights to those images!
  • You’re pretty for a dark-skinned girl

    https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/dark-skinned

    Dark-skinned

    Growing up my beauty and skin complexion was heavily celebrated, especially by my Dad. As far back as I can remember, he was the first person who ever told me that I and my Dark skin was beautiful. On a regular basis, he would proudly proclaim in his raspy Jamaican accent yuh Black and pretty just like yuh Mumma’ or my personal favourite, Mi likkle Black Beauty’.

    Whenever he would shower me with praises about my skin, you would always catch me with a face full of smiles. My mum too and as I grew in age, I became heavily accustomed to both their praises. After a while, I started mimicking my parents by showing love and appreciation to my skin all by myself. I guess you could say that their mission to teach me how to love my dark skin was accomplished. My confidence and self-esteem were built off the back of this and at four years old, I became comfortable in the skin that I was in.

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    Inevitably, I soon came to learn that although my skin complexion was celebrated at home, it was not desirable by some on the outside. Racism is just one horrific example of this and sadly in 2018, darker skin being seen as ugly or less attractive is still a thing. My parents did not sugar coat anything for me though. I was bluntly told to expect this and possibly discrimination because of my dark skin complexion.

    As harsh as this was my parents had every right to prepare me for what I might be faced with out there in the world. But I was reminded that no matter what people thought about my dark skin or said, I still had to love myself. Looking back now, I find it very heartbreaking that my parents even had to sit me down to tell me something like that. Sadly, even with the prior warning, this was something that I certainly was not ready for. So it was not surprising that I found myself swimming in a pool of confusion at 13 years old when I got my first ever real taste of colourism.

    Colourism is where an individual is discriminated against or treated differently based on their skin colour. Those who take part in colourism usually value lighter skinned people more than those with darker skin.

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    No matter how many times I heard my parents share their own experiences of colourism nothing really could compare to my own. The incident occurred right after I moved to from Brixton to Streatham. Two boys from my new area did not waste time in letting it be known to everyone exactly what they thought of me.  “She is pretty for a dark-skinned ting but dark-skinned tings are just not our thing”. EXCUSE ME? First of all, I did not know that I had even auditioned to be somebody’s dark-skinned ting.

    So the unnecessary feedback truly caught me by surprise. It was very cheeky. I did not take it as a compliment and I certainly never took it to heart. But I was slightly embarrassed only because I felt like I had been singled out because of my darker skin. Now they may have said that I was pretty but that was beside the point, I felt very insulted. One of my younger neighbours clearly must have read the embarrassment on my face, because he turned to me and said, “Jenna, they don’t know what they are talking about”. I will never ever forget that because he was right, those boys simply did not have a clue.

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    My little neighbour knew better and so did I. There was no way I going to let these boys and their words hurt me because their views meant absolutely nothing. I had to decide at that moment and every moment after that, that I was not going to let any negative thing said about my dark skin ever affect me. I may have been only 13 but the words of my parents and my beliefs were so deeply rooted inside of me. It was simply impossible to convince me to accept or believe in the idea that dark skin was ugly.

    I managed to brush it off because even back then I knew that beauty had nothing to do with complexion. I was so sure of that and I was not going to let these two boys blindsight me with their foolery. Unfortunately, this was not the last time I was to be told that I was pretty for a dark skin girl but my stance always remained the same.

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    I quickly came to discover that the notion of darker skin being associated with unattractiveness is actually still very common. A recent 2018 study by Jean Jaures looked into the impact of face skin tone on perceived facial attractiveness, results found that overall participants preferred light-skinned faces over dark-skinned ones. Again, this is not shocking because these type of findings have been relatively consistent for decades.

    I know some people do not care too much for research or statistics but it would be ludacris to just dismiss such findings. It clearly tells us something and that is Colourism is alive and well and in 2018 and too me that is very concerning. I can only imagine what type of impact colourism could have on young impressionable people, both the victims and perpetrators.

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    Another thing that I find very irresponsible is when people try to pass colourism off as personal preference, as opposed to what it really is, colourism. I totally understand that everyone is entitled to like what they like. But for someone to think that darker skin is ugly, for me that goes beyond just preference or what someone prefers. I love dark-skinned men, but that does not mean that I think Lighter-skinned men are less unattractive or ugly.

    My Husband could be light-skinned for all I know, but I am yet to meet my husband, so I really do not know what he will look like lol. In my opinion, it is very possible to have a preference that is not built on the poison that is Colourism. Sadly you would think something like colourism should not exist. When in fact if you were to take a closer look you will see that it can be found almost everywhere. The media, the entertainment industry, institutions, the workplace and sadly the list goes on.

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    One thing that you should know though is that colourism happens between racial communities and sadly within them. On Black Twitter where some use the hashtags #teamdarkskin and #teamlightskin as a sign of unity within their own group, there are others who abuse this and use it as a way to keep division amongst the two alive.

    Sadly the issues between both groups were well established before the birth of Black Twitter. Issues stem from as far back as the days of slavery. Where dark skin slaves were kept out working in the fields and lighter skinned slaves were kept in the house. Lighter skinned slaves were treated fairly better than darker skinned slaves. Reportedly this is just one of many factors that contributed to feelings of superiority amongst those of a  lighter skin tone. The big issue for me is that both groups were slaves and personally I find nothing positive in that, but each to their own.

    Some may argue that this superiority is still around today and it continues to feed colourism within the black community. It is very important to know that colourism is not a one-way street though, it affects both dark-skinned women and men. Even those of a  lighter skin tone can fall victims to colourism too. In this day and age, you would think we would be so further away from this.6a87683bb26df9d7e939f9a07eff4653--black-models-black-art.jpg

    I feel very blessed that I was able to fall in love with my dark skin from a very young age. By the time I was fully exposed to some of the negative perceptions out there in the world of darker skin, I was unshakeable. I have my parents to thank for that because things could have been very different for me.

    There are many dark skin women out there who maybe did not have someone to teach or show them how to love their dark skin. So it is not surprising when faced with negativity about their dark skin, they end up internalising it and it then manifested in other ways. Colourism can be very toxic and damaging to its victims as it can impact everything from self-esteem to mental health.

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    Famous actresses such as Gabriella Union and Lupita Nyong’o have openly discussed how they both battled with self-esteem issues because of their complexion. Both extremely beautiful women, who believed that their dark skin was ugly because of the constant negativity they were led to believe. Sadly, there are thousands of other dark-skinned girls and women who have been led to believe the same.

    One of the most damaging things has occurred as a result of this is skin bleaching. I think for me this is probably the worse one of them all. It has now become a worldwide pandemic that has many physical side effects as well as psychological. People are going to extreme lengths to change the appearance of their skin, despite knowing the dangers.

    Bleaching products are so easily accessible all over the world. I could go online or walk into any black hair shop owned in London and start my bleaching skin journey. I seem to believe if people were openly selling crack cocaine in these local hair shops, the UK government would go to extreme lengths to shut that down. I just do not believe enough is being down to crack down on this. If bleaching skin products are getting through the cracks of the system, then someone is not doing their job properly.

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    Things do not stay the same forever and nowadays thing appears to be heading in a positive new direction. Especially within the entertainment and beauty industry concerning dark skinned women. More and more dark-skinned women can be found on covers of international magazine covers like Vogue. Dark skinned women are now leading major beauty campaigns and landing themselves in lead roles in tv shows and films.

    Opportunities like this for dark-skinned women were literally non-existent many years ago. Supermodels like Naomi Campbell have paved the way for models like Leomi Anderson to be to able to do what they do. Representation matters and by young dark skinned girls seeing women who look like them in the media,  it is possible that this could have a positive impact on their self-esteem leading to a better self-image.

    Dark skin women are now taking centre stage and creating their own narratives instead of being phased by the plague of colourism. It still exists, but more and more dark-skinned women are determined to embrace all of their dark skin chocolate goodness regardless. There is now a strong sense of self-love and pride that oozes from dark-skinned women especially on social media platforms. Everyone appears to be loving their dark skin and they are being unapologetic about it. Again this is amazing stuff as it only helps to uplift those within the dark-skinned community.

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    Sadly on these same platforms, there are trolls who work just as hard to keep colourism alive with the constant bullshit they put in tweets and memes. I pray that those who use these platforms positively will develop a zero tolerance for colourism and anything that is associated with it. In today’s society, colourism should have no seat at anyone’s table.

    It helps no one and this idea that dark skin is ugly or less attractive needs to come to a swift end. It is complete and utter nonsense and this is me being polite. Dark skin like any other skin tone is beautiful. I can only hope that those who think the opposite comes to know the truth.

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    To you, my reader whatever complexion you are, I urge you to be proud and love the skin that you are in. Try your hardest not to be impacted by the mean or hurtful things that people say. Especially on social media if someone talks craps, educate or block them, do whatever is easier for you. We are all equal in Gods image, no one is superior to anybody despite what people may think or promote.

    I do hope that this post was insightful to you in some way. I know that is a little different from my usual context but this baby blogger is out there spreading her wings.

    If you have had any experiences of colourism or if you want to let me know your views on this post, let’s chat in the comments or you can hit me up on Instagram or Twitter @Jennasworldview.

    PS: I have a special skincare post out on Monday 17th September 2018 and I can’t wait for you to read it. Make sure you are signed up to my email updates. All images above were found on good ole google.

    Stay blessed

    Lots of Love

    Jenna

    xoxo

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    Slaying in all my dark skin goodness in Barcelona – August 2018.

    26 & never been on a Bae-cation…

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    For those of you that don’t know, a Bae-cation is a vacation that you take with BAE. The Bae in question must be your significant other. Borrowing a BAE from someone else would be quite problematic. Personally, I would avoid that and I urge you to do the same, but hey that is a new blog – post for another day lol

    I thought long and hard about this and yes I’d love for the chance to escape to an Exotic Island or be whisked away on a City break with Bae. I never travelled with my ex so this is a new territory that I am keen to explore. As I am now part of the Travel blogging community, I see so many travel pics of couples daily and it really got me thinking about me and my own experiences.

    So I decided to reach out to my Instagram family to find out who has been on a Baecation and where did they goIt is safe to say, that I am not the only person left on the earth who has not been on one, whew. There are both Men and Women out there, young and old who are yet to jet out with their partner. I guess this means that I am not an alien and I can stop stressing myself out right?. Mmmm I’m not yet convinced, this lack of Baecation stuff is going on my prayer list, so watch this space, lol.

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     In my head, a Bae-cation goes something like this . . .

    Together both of us will be killing it our holiday outfits, from the colours right down to the footwear. We just naturally complement each other as we travel through a new country, exploring and making new memories. Our beach days will consist of long walks, hand in hand in the sand, whilst the waves of the sea flow as our background music. We will stay up late into the evenings, talking about whatever comes to mind right through to the early hours of the morning. Each day away will give us both the chance to recharge, reconnect and plan ahead.

    These scenes from a romantic film that I am describing are probably far from the true reality of Bae-cations. I know it sounds so scripted and glamorous, but hey a girl can dream lol. I am an outsider here so I wouldn’t know where to start.  If I am way off hit your girl up and drop some knowledge on me in the comments, lol.

    In my mind, a Baecation seems necessary for all couples. Time away from our natural habitats does everyone good, I expect that a Baecation would probably do the same plus more. Chances are it gives some couples the opportunity to pour into each other with minimal distractions or outside influences. From what I have seen and heard, a Baecation is like a Kinder surprise, you just never know what you might get. It is possible to go on a Baecation and not come back the same way.

    How many couples have you heard of that went away and come back engaged, eloped, pregnant or even separated?  You just never know what a Baecation could bring, but I am here for it, and can’t wait for my turn. Travelling is a big part of me. Travelling has shaped my character as a woman.Travelling has broadened my horizons. Travelling holds a big place in my heart and life. I can’t even begin to imagine, what it would feel like to share this with Bae. I know this sounds mushy, but hey I said, what I said lol.

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    Even before I announced this blog post, I have had lots of questions floating around in my head about Baecations.

    When is the right time in a relationship to go on holiday?

    Is there a Bae-cation vetting process?

    Would I take wigs on a Bae-cation or nah?

    Where would we go ?

    What started out as a fun light-hearted blog – post quickly took a negative turn, that left me feeling out of place.

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    My mind was doing overtime putting this blog post together. To the point where I almost abandoned it. I felt like I was mentally self –harming trying to understand something that I was yet to experience. As I pondered on the fact that I am 26 and I have never been on a Bae-cation, it was getting me very pressed. The thought of it got me extremely agitated, my mood kept dipping and my nostrils flares were on 100. I had to seriously question myself and ask “Jenna what is all the fuss about with this Baecation stuff”? Then it hit me like a ton of bricks and I ended up going down that road of self-reflection.

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    I will be 27 in December and my life is really just getting started. There are a lot of things ahead of me, I have lots to see and even more to explore and experience. Even though, I know this to be true, I sometimes have moments of ‘when is it going to happen?”  and I am sure that I am not alone. From about 15 years old, I have planned out my entire life. According to my plans, I should be a qualified Clinical Psychologist, married, pregnant with the twins, renovating my 5th property, and coordinating business deals back and forth from New York.  I am so far away from this plan, it actually chokes me to know that I haven’t achieved anything I just shared on that list.

     I am not where I THOUGHT I would be by this age. Acknowledging that I am now 26 and haven’t been on a Baecation, reminds me that the plans that I made for my life at 15 have not come to fruition. I do feel some type of way, but I have just been getting on with my life and buried these feelings. We all have things that we bury deep down inside of us. In hopes that we never have to deal with them ever again or that if we ignore it the feelings will go away. The truth is, as I get on with life, my faith and my fears are at WAR but only one of them can win. My faith tells me there is still enough time for all of those beautiful things to take place in my life. Whilst my fears tell me, that my career, travel plans, love life and future will never happen. It is a constant battle, but I am determined that my fears will not win.

    On this life journey so far I have broken down and hit many roadblocks as well as diversions. I set out on one route, took a few wrong turns, couple detours and there. I have been lost, was given many directions, ended up ditches, rerouted and then found myself back on the roads, with the breeze blowing through my hair. I made plans for my life and believed I would go down a particular route in order to achieve them but that has been far from the case and that’s fine.

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    Sometimes in life, the route in which we take to achieving our plans will be the very thing that destroys us. We have our hearts and minds set on things that have nothing to do with where Gods wants to take us. I am not saying that we must not set goals or plan.  I am saying that if you plan something and it doesn’t work out how you thought it would, don’t be disheartened. Just know that God has SOMETHING better in store for you. When you get caught up in what did not work or what you don’t have, you lose sight of where you are. Even if something has not happened in your life just yet, doesn’t mean that it will never happen.

    I am guilty of living my life through an unrealistic checklist created by me, influenced heavily by family expectations, peer pressure, society standards & Culture. I can confidently say that I know I am not the only one.There is no real manual on how to do this life thing because it is very much all trial and error. In a weird way I felt very disappointed that I had not achieved some of those things on my list, because If I did, Bae-cations would have happened already. Those plans that I wrote for my life at 15 have secretly been holding me hostage. My unrealistic timelines have made me feel some type of way about things that I cant control in life.

    The truth is this, it doesn’t matter how much we stress or wonder when things will happen in our lives. At the right time, in the right season, with the right people, everything that is yours shall be given unto you. Stressing is a waste time because it won’t get you to your goals any quicker. Do not to focus on what has not shown up just yet in your life, have faith that GODS plans will lead you to everything that you need.

    So yes, I am 26 and I have NOT yet been on a Bae-cation, but it will happen, just like all the other things that are destined for my life. What I have and what I do not have, no longer has power over me and that now gives me hella strength.

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    Stay Blessed peeps

    Please continue to comment, like, share, especially on the socials

    You can find and follow me on Twitter, Instagram & Facebook @JennasWorldView

    Jenna’s Words of Wisdom

    Remember it is always good, to be honest with yourself about your inner thoughts and feelings. Self-reflection is key!

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    Lots of Love

    Jenna

    xoxo